Archive for the ‘Way seer’ Category

Near Death Experience and the Ego

 

I was 19 when I went into anaphylactic shock from taking penicillin. I had just enough time to dial 911 before my throat closed. They traced the call and broke through the locked door. I remember coming around once in the ambulance as they had given me shots of adrenaline; but it didn’t last long as I passed out again from the reaction taking over. I don’t remember making it to the hospital, but I remember leaving my body.

I felt a feeling of weightlessness, and it seemed like a surface of liquid light, like a mirror separated me from a different reality. It was like the amniotic sack a baby floats within. I decided to explore that, and with that decision I found myself on the other side of that mirror.. and with that, my ego was left in the old reality with my body. I realized right away my ego was my body, and that all those fears and worries were my bodies way of trying to survive as long as possible within that earthly reality. In this other place I found complete neutrality .. and it was so restful. So peaceful to leave all the stress and suffering, all the striving and all the emotions of the human body behind, across that curtain or veil.. but I became aware that it wasn’t time to leave yet, that I was meant to linger and to learn something in this place for my life on earth that wasn’t quite finished yet.. so I explored it.

In my energy body I could see everything in a more than 360 degree perspective as my perspective was unlimited. I saw and heard conversations throughout the hospital, I saw outside of the hospital, I heard and saw ambulance attendants talking about car crashes, saw the young doctor that was late for his shift in emerg, come rolling in on his roller blades.. I heard staff talking about lottery tickets.. but most importantly I had no emotional attachment to any of it,.. and I let them be in experiencing their own realities.

What I saw was the fabric of life, of how everything is beautifully woven together to create synchronicities .. the synchronicities of the Universe. Like the gears of a clock, time, destiny, fate, free will.. turning together, multiple outcomes, and multiple different realities, layered, just like the cells of a body, speaking to each other, energy on energy.. with a purpose to create, to transpire, inspire, react with purpose.. and the simplicity of the purpose… just to simply be and become better at being.. to constantly evolve.. to let go.. move forward while using what was as a foundation of what will be.. in the beautiful neutrality of being emotionless..of not clinging to any outcomes.. as my ego was gone, I could see the pinpoint, the catalyst.. that creates the reaction of all realities or LIFE.. it it was simply love.. not the love that we know as beings attached to ego.. not a love that we may ever really know living within our earthly bodies.. but a love so pure..so pristine..because it was a true unconditional love.. untouched by the reactions it created..as all catalyst remain that cause the reaction.. this love held no attachments to it’s creations, no judgments, no hope, no hate.. no conditions.. and this love is the BALANCING FORCE… this is the source energy that all goes to and moves away from.. like the very heart within you.. making what was old new again.. making what was new old.. but the intelligence surpassed an emotional intelligence.. as it was neutral..and that is why it created such Genius.. meaning ( To bring into being, create and produce”)

I found myself above my body again.. as they worked on it, shocking my heart, plugging me with needles, saying ” This is going to be close! She is only 19!” But I watched above my body with no emotion, not just because I knew they were going to be successful, but because I was detached from my ego.. but that didn’t last long.. it wasn’t the pain of entering my body that got to me.. it was the pain of the prison of my ego, I felt like I slipped into dirty old socks, after being so free.. it was horrible, yet I knew I had to endure this, yet I knew eventually what had happened to me would change something in this reality to help humanity and all of creation evolve.. I had brought something back with me.. a wisdom..

As I lay recovering..the young doctor who had been late, who had roller bladed into the emerg; sat with me to hold my hand. With a worried face he told me how close it was, how lucky I was to be there with him.. but I felt his ego, he had a lot of ego, this was about him consoling the pretty 19 year old girl, not about my recovery… and then I felt my ego..because I liked the attention.. yup I was back!

But through the years, I have let go of so many things, the most important was religion, I began to see how religion kept us from that place of intelligent unconditional love..from the balancing force of creation.. and I began to let go and let go and let go…and search for wisdom

I can tell you this ..as an absolute certainty..anyone that lives in a human body is not egoless.. there are no real Gurus.. there isn’t not one person living that is at that state of pure unconditional love..because their body is ego..the body is your ego and it clouds everything ..it is your lens or perspective and it is a very human perspective..those who profess to be egoless .. well that in it’s self is pure ego.. probably more dangerous than those who admit to living in their ego..those who are aware of ego can work within it..to learn to temper it.. so beware of those who profess to be egoless they are the most dangerous.

As for death, it comes when it is time, but it is also the greatest illusion.. as is life.

Maybe I will just take a lover

 

I don’t want to get married and I don’t want a traditional relationship.. I don’t want to clean up all his shit.

Maybe I will just take a lover.

I don’t want to be and to feel like I am smothered and most of all I don’t want to be his mother.

Maybe I will just take a lover.

I don’t want to wait at home for him to show up late for dinner and then bicker.

Maybe I will just take a lover.

 

I don’t want to dress the same and do the same things with him everyday; I would rather play with him, not like the old fashioned way.

Maybe I will just take a lover.

I don’t want to watch TV in bed with him; I want to make passionate love with him instead.

Maybe I will just take a lover.

I don’t need constant attention and I don’t want to use manipulation to get it from him.

Maybe I will just take a lover.

I don’t want to be told what to do day in and day out; I don’t want to be told who I am and I don’t want to scream and shout.

Maybe I will just take a lover.

I like to be alone most of the time, I like to have my things to be mine.

Maybe I will just take a lover.

 

 

He can have his place and I can have mine; we don’t need to be attached at the hip all the time.

Maybe I will just take a lover.

All I need is one good man, a man that is free and in his own power and only wants to sleep with me.

Maybe I will just take a lover.

We can live our private lives out of other’s prying eyes; I will keep his secrets and he will keep mine.

Maybe I will just take a lover.

Competition

 

I had an breakthrough.. a self breakthrough that I wish to share with you..because I hope it helps you in someway..

I was having a very difficult time with attempting to get through to other professional groups and networking organizations with the message of my book. I found out about the business world this year. I had helped my ex husband start up and run a successful landscaping business..that we had built together from the ground up..but of course what I did with him is entirely different than attempting to set forth a brand new culture. I knew it would be difficult. I knew some women would see my photography and writing about sexuality as a form of competing for male attention and I knew that many men see any form of a woman’s sexuality as pornography. I knew that attempting to heal society of pornography and prudishness was going to take some doing. And I knew also that our culture needed and needs to evolve towards healthy sexuality..but I was not prepared for the lack of understanding and maturity towards this message in my own city. Taking a stand towards ignorance can be a huge fight.. we have been shown this throughout history..even just in the name ( History) we can see it as his-story.. her-story being left out of our culture. *sigh* and so with the old culture still holding true I have been seen as ill-reputable, as slutty and cheap. Wishing to show women and to lead women away from sexual shaming ..to show through my own nudity the beauty in the female form… hoping to educate women and men..about how our sexuality has been sold back to us.. leaving us as a loveless culture.. I was seen as an attention whore.. and so the competition begun..as I attempted to prove myself as an educator/spiritualist/author and artist..but I couldn’t compete..as I was shut out, shut down and made to shut up.

 

The truth is I am not a professional business person at all.. I had no idea what I was up against or how cut-throat competition could be. I thought ( in the spiritual sense) that networking was creating a web were people could share and communicate ideas freely..that it would be cooperation and communication. I had no idea that I had to fit in.. I thought that being different was a good thing..but I was shown I was wrong..

 

In the spiritual sense I had a dream of The Greatest man..and in this dream he showed me his struggles and the struggles of his people towards freedom.. he shared with me the struggle of the underdog.. the one that is told that they don’t have a chance ..they don’t stand a chance..and any chance they get they make that path for themselves..and they work hard..they get hit hard.. but they get up and they train harder..because one fight just helps you learn for the next fight.

 

 

He says ” I know were I am going and I know the truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I am free to be what I want” ~ Muhammad Ali

I remembered my days in Judo.. I remembered being told..”There is no competition..your opponent is you..they are a reflection of your strengths and weaknesses.. you will learn..if you win the fight you will learn.. if you don’t win you will learn..but there is no loosing only lessons.. you will evolve as a fighter.. you will master yourself through them..they are not your opponent they are your teacher.”

I was a yellow belt.. I was told I was going to fight a brown belt .. I was told ” Chances are very high you will not win..but you will learn.”

I when she creamed me and used me to dust the mats.. I was asked ” What did you learn?” I replied ” I learned how she used my force against me.. I saw how she flowed as if she was dancing..she moved right through me.”..and I was told ” You will do the same.. you will do the same in daily life to..if you learn to flow with the force that is set against you.”

I had forgotten..I had..my dream..my highermind re-(mined) me.. I was not flowing I was drowning..in anger and resentment..in frustration and painful emotion and so it was controlling my mind and my heart.. it was hurting.

The Greatest said ” What you’re thinking is what you’re becoming.” ~ Muhammad Ali

And so I was becoming bitter, angry and frustrated with the force of ignorance pressing down on me.

But my opponent is me..it is in my mind..it is me fighting me.. there is no fighting there is only flowing when you know there is no competition.. when you know you stand steady in your center of who you are..of who you know yourself to be..

When Muhammad Ali went into the ring..he thought ” I am the Greatest. I said that even before I knew I was”

You see he had already fought his demons in his head.. he had already fought the prejudice in his soul.. he knew there was no competition and so there wasn’t..

He walked right through them.

Moving on


 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=L6Cel24FOEw

The neat thing about this is that I own the deck of cards that Doreen is reading off of..and she is reading in my city of birth Vancouver BC

She is reading the cards as an over all feeling of energy throughout the planet.. I went and pulled these cards out of my deck and put them on my dresser on display early this Monday morning..and I received this news in the mail late in the afternoon.

Below is my comment to Doreen’s video on facebook.

“”You were right Doreen.. I received bad news in the mail today ( Monday) I filed a claim with the BC Human Rights tribunal..due to the fact that I have been sexually discriminated against by 2 of my cities networking organizations and some of their members against my website and self published book based upon The Goddess Archetypes..dealing with women’s sexuality and sacred sexuality..they will not hear the claim due to what they see as lack of solid evidence. They told me I could try filing against one member if I could prove the sexual harassment .. but I can’t..so there is no point. I have also been bullied online by these people as they use fake or no identities on my blog to comment..so I cannot prove nothing.. only that I can not be successful in my own city due to the fact that I cannot use these organizations to network.. it is a major loss and grief for me..as I know they are all gossiping and gloating at my failure to bring justice ( yet I am somehow relieved as their energy has brought my energy down and drained me for sometime.. it will be good to let them go) .. I am hoping with bated breath..that fortune will turn my way..and somehow I will get some financial help promoting my book and the message of women’s empowerment and sex for the sake of love.. the erotic not the pornographic..because I use myself as a model for my book..I express the Goddess through sensual yet classical artistic type photography.. I have been labeled as a whore in my city..and in the professional community.. promoting and living in the sacred..and believing myself in sacred sexuality.. I am far from a being a whore. I am going to share this comment on the blog part of my website..and I can link up your video above I will share it with the post I am going to write tonight.. but a least with your reading I had some emotional for-warning.. when I picked up the mail..and saw that it was from the Human Rights Tribunal.. I just knew this was going to be # 13.. the death and purification card.. death of the idea that I could bring justice..but purification of old, negative energy .. of people who are nothing like their online profiles say they are.. Thank you Doreen.. many blessings .. if you would like to read my blog”"

As much as I am very sad that my claim will not be heard.. I know because of this reading it is for the greater good.. it simply is not the will of the Universe..for reasons I just can’t see yet.. at the very least this reading gives me hope that something better is just around the corner..and that I am learning a positive life lesson staying in my grief and sorrow.. and that I can let these people go..as this has done nothing but drain me of my positive energy.. now I can move on and look forward to summer..I really want to write another book..

I see now this is for the best.. I can not even attempt to network with these people.. I can not even attempt to attend any of their supposed public functions.. were everyone is supposed to be welcomed.. for I simply am not welcomed but shunned by these people..it is something that I will have to accept..because by God I tried to change it.. but I can not change other’s perspectives..but I can go on and live my life..and do what I love to do..and that is to create and do the will of the higher good.

 

Never Give Up

I finally was given an appointment to meet a Business Advisor at Women’s Enterprise Center.. below are the questions I emailed to them upon request by them as they said this was their standard.
I was met by an older woman who sounded very much like Barbra Walters.. I was lead to an impressive boardroom filled with a huge boardroom table were I was asked to have a seat. My questions were then gone over..and quite simply this is what our meeting amounted to.. I could not be successful without learning about my target market.. of course I needed to network to do this; and in order for me to educate women and men on the subject to women’s sexuality and equality I had to be able to find speaking venues through these networking organizations that I have been shut out of.. to do this “conundrum” as Dawn McCooey .. my Business Advisor called it.. I was indeed between a rock and hard place and success would not be found for me without these resources that were being denied me. I learned that I did not have enough personal equity ..as I needed 30% down to invest into a loan before I could get one..since I have no resources as I have poured them into my book and website.. I cannot get a business loan through them myself and since I have no family to lend me the equity I am screwed towards getting a loan..also there are no grants available for me. And so it seems as Gloria Steinem has said ” Most women are one man away from a welfare check” meaning that if you don’t have a husband or 2 incomes you as women can’t amount to much financially on her own.. point proven here in my life experience.
I was asked why I had not met these people face to face before coming to the conclusions that I had.. I then went on to tell her about my meeting with Joel Young of the Okanagan Valley Entrepreneurs Society..about how he had asked me..if I came to my book and work because my father must have fucked me. I told her how he had said this over and over to me, in front of my 5 year old little boy who was with us at the meeting .. I told her this trying so hard to cry..but I was not successful … I did weep, but I managed not to go into the ugly cry. I told her about meeting with Bonita Kay Summers of Spirit Kelowna.. how she had defined the world WHORE to me.. how she told me how inappropriate I was for Kelowna Women in Business due to my overt sexuality and pictures on my website..
Dawn McCooey my Business Advisor at this meeting then asked me a question ..she said ” Due to all the personal pain this has caused you are you ready to move on with your life and see this as just a hobby?” She then told me that my book and my work on sacred sexuality and freeing women from social sexual shame were not wanted in my community and that I should think about just accepting that..she told me that Women`s Enterprise Center did not network with Kelowna Women in Business ,,when clearly on their website they name then as one of their networking organizations..
After all of the grief and the heartache and outright bullying that I have been through with these people she chided me like I was a child for questioning their motives towards me.. I questioned if her organization was as prejudice as the others I have dealt with..she asked me if my attitude was getting me anywhere networking as if I was a bad irresponsible child.. I then asked her if she had listened to what they had done to me.. I told her I went into meetings with them innocent and open to being treated like and equal and with the respect that I treated them with from the start..but instead I was abused and prejudiced against due to my work on sexuality..
Of course I am jaded now!
Dawn McCooly did not look at my book..and when I showed her my artistic erotic photography in the book by offering up the book to her myself..she said she thought my book was pornography…
As we concluded the meeting I told her that I had come away with nothing.. no mentorship, no financial help.. no other networking opportunities.. I then told her that the Human Rights Claim that I filed was my only hope as they had offered me none..she asked me how I hoped to network with in these organizations with the bad blood between us.. I told her that it was not about revenge.. I only wanted to be treated as an equal and receive equal opportunity.. and I told her what has happened here and what has been happening all along is exactly why this is not a hobby..this is exactly why I have to pursue this until I am dead.. my story is every woman`s  story of inequality.. I will not give up.
My questions.
1. How do I network in Kelowna effectively when I am shut out by Kelowna Women In Business and Okanagan Valley Entrepreneurs Society. I had emailed KWIB and was ignored. I have messaged them on facebook and have been ignored. I have sent them my phone # and I have been ignored. I have paid online for a full membership to OVES and I have not received an online News Letter as to when and were their events are being held. Rae Stonehouse who is the chairman of OVES also runs Toastmasters he has been exceedingly rude to me via email. It is very obvious that he has no respect for me as a person or a professional.. so how am I supposed to network though these organizations that I have filed a Human Rights Complaint towards..that is still pending?
2. How do you and your organization define networking?
3. What grants, loans or funds are available to me through your organization and how do access them quickly and correctly to maximize my potential in being as successful as possible.
4. How do I make my way through the prejudice in society and through these networking organizations such as yours .. how can I educate people towards a more mature way of looking at, and understanding women’s sexuality.. to help abolish the shame a taboos placed upon women?
5. Where and how can I find a venue to launch my book and Goddess work into our social networks?
6. Can you see me as not being a threat because I am offering and teaching something that is new and different?
7. How long to I have to wait to see a Business Advisor? What is the normal waiting period?
8. How can I make my website and online profile more mainstream?
9. Will you advise me on how to be more professional and business minded? I truly need help.
10. How do I start an organization and group of my own.. to help women become more free and expressive in their creativity and sexuality..to empower women through the expression of their true nature and femininity?
11. Since you network with KWIB do you also find me offensive are you bias in your views of me due to how other networking organizations in our community have treated me?
12. I need a speaking venue to spread the message of my work.. how do I do this in our community if I have been shut out of the networking organizations?
I have contacted by phone message Western Economic Diversification Canada with my concerns.. due to the fact that you network with the organizations that have seemingly black listed me I want to make sure that your organization will be professional upon your dealings with me.

Losing it.. loss and death

 

When I was at the tender age of 5 my parents gave me a Ballerina Barbie doll for my birthday.. she had a golden crown.. and a pink dress.. I loved her. Soon after I had a very vivid dream, my dolly told me..as she danced around me .. that my family was my earth family, that they were not my soul family and I would loss them all. This was a prophetic dream as that is exactly what happened. When I was 13 my mother took her own life. When I was 16 I ran away from home to avoid my father’s abuse and neglect. I felt my reality shift from under me, it felt as if the ground it’s self had swallowed me whole. I had my first panic attach..I was 16, I woke up one morning in another new foster home and for a few seconds I couldn’t remember were I was.. my reality was shifting like the sands of time  so swiftly that I had no baring… I had no foundation.

I experienced years of this shifting from place to place.. though out school and college I drifted.. never really having a solid foundation.. always loss present.. always losing friends and situations.. I was the wanderer .. I was on the Hero’s Journey.. when I met and married my husband I thought my days of intense loss were over.. I thought the grief was behind me and for a time it was.. we had 2 little girls. We started a business together, bought a home and renovated it..but then death came a knocking.. I miscarried again and again.. the worst one I was half way through a pregnancy when the prophetic dream came to me.. I dreamed of loosing my little boy.. and a week later the cramps started..and in the ultra sound at the hospital he was still. I gave birth to my dead baby… and as I did that day, my marriage began to erode and I felt him drifting from me as he resented me for bring so much death into his life.. I felt the sand under my feet shift slowly as it represented my marriage decaying and dying a slow painful death.. I sat with death at this time.. the death of my baby and the dying of my marriage.. yet still we conceived our son..but as I entered into the third trimester of my pregnancy he was having an affair with an employee of ours.. In spite of this I managed to give birth to a healthy baby boy.. and with that I saw life and death together as one.. the cycle of evolution..

Then more death…  another prophetic dream of my sister’s impending death..yes even more as my sister became ill, as my marriage was dying and with this my own health took a tumble from the stress of it all.. my sister passed on ..but she evolved my soul as she showed me how to die with bravery and dignity. And with that my husband left me… My world and my reality totally empty.. the abyss so deep and dark .. I was in a grave.. all had decomposed around me..and yet I had to hold on through the darkness, the pitch black darkness for the sake of my children..to hang onto my will to live that tried to seep away from me ..as the wounds..the emotional wounds were bleeding me out.. yet I clung.

I sat in the lap of death.. me and the Grim Reaper, became good friends.. I sat with sorrow, I sat with hopelessness .. in the middle of the dark cold, lonely nights they took me over and they taught me wisdom.. They taught me that nothing and no one in this world defines me.. there is no thing that controls me.. no one controls me but me.. they taught me about the weaving of life.. the seen and the unseen forces of life and death connecting all things.. they invited me to stay for awhile in the darkness.. to stay and find and mine the treasures of the soul and the spirit..and it was in this barren God forsaken place I was tempered.. I was crushed.. I was broken.. I was tested.. It was here I found my spark and my passion as I turned on my soul..as I rose out of the darkness by the will of my spirit..by the will of the PASSION to live on..to thrive..to do more than survive..but burn..to ignite to roar and rip out of the darkness using it as my very fuel to propel me forward and up and out..

I learned to live on my own.. I expressed my pain and wisdom in my art and writing.. I strengthened my body to match my soul..

This is not just my journey .. it is yours too.. I can promise you through experience.. if you hold strong and if you sit with your emotions and honor you losses .. you will overcome and thrive.. I promise

The Unknown is Reality

We can spend an entire lifetime trying to please others having never truly lived.. such is the price of perfect.. or seeming to be so. Don’t we all see this in the perfect social personality that others portray; be it in person or on their social profile.. Its funny how many seem to need the PERFECT PERSON to be their GURU.. I have problems with this..I have problems with fluffy, fake spirituality and fluffy, fake anything…this is not true enlightenment or living in reality at all.. it is making the darkness conscious that we come to the light of our soul.. so what does that look like?

It is tempering.. it is blending the spiritual and the physical.. it is understanding that we live in material world in the flesh and blood as spiritual beings living in the flesh and blood.. it is understanding the ego..that we are indeed having a separate experience in living but in the spirit we are all connected as a whole in that we are all of the same energy that is all creation.. so denying the needs of the flesh.. like being a sexual being or the need to make money for creature comforts is indeed ignoring the darkness and not bring it into the light.. but living to deeply in the material world and using spirituality to create propaganda ( a polished lie.. like many cults and religions) is denying the darkness again..as it is the ego that lies for manipulation and control over others.. so it is those who live only for money are lacking enlightenment and those who live only in the spirit are indeed lacking enlightenment as both are denying the darkness or lying to the self about the ego..the dark ego that lives to look down on others..as it be with wealth, fame and fortune or by judging others as not being as Spiritual as them.. true enlightenment is seeing perfection as false and fake..and true enlightenment is accepting all the parts of the self and all the parts of others..and by seeing we are all imperfect; true forgiveness is possible by all..as we are all prone to fall from grace.. this is how world peace will come about. The Unknown parts of the self and in all creation are the mystical made known..as the unknown is always present..as perfection and the search of it the true flaw.

The God and Goddess wisdom teaches us that we are indeed the savior that we seek..that we are indeed the Divine in physical form.. just look in the mirror to see GOD or GODDESS.. we are the energy of all creation..want a miracle .. listen to your heart beat.. look outside and watch the sunrise and sunset.. Every mystical text.. every holy book, every prophecy was metaphorical.. it was to be understood as the dreamscape .. the land of dreams inside of each soul and mind and heart.. it was to be understood as the human experience of growth and true evolution..to to be taken as literal.. it was the ego that did this.. it was fear that caused humanity to kill in the name of religion.. we have been acting like children..very evil children as we have denied the darkness for far to long.. we have denied are primal needs for sex..and for just being in our truth.. we have lied to keep up face..we have been fake and fearful..

It is time now that we see who and what we really are..that we see we are the metaphor .. we are Gods and Goddesses..

Let us not deny our true story.. let us speak, live and be in our truth..

Let us be loving and forgiving..and let us not deny our roots.. to be sensual and spiritual..as this is the true blending of the opposites the darkness made conscious.. humanity coming into the light by full awareness of the unknown..as it is acceptable to be wild and real… and DIVINE

honesty

 

Compassion or sympathy for yourself is not being weak.. having compassion brings us to the understanding of our feelings.. or our emotions.. this is very important as our emotions are the internal compass that guides us and directs us down the correct path or paths of our lives.. when we turn off our emotions and deny our pain we loose direction in life.. so we must be honest and truthful as to our intentions, needs and wants.

My intention has been to become as free as possible.. it has been to help others experience this freedom with my intention to be as honest and as compassionate with myself as possible by honoring my feelings and my journey..as I am on a very human journey and our journeys mirror each other..there is much in my writing that many can relate too.. I hope to help other’s find their own compassion for themselves..

I have found it.. I have found self love.. I have found it down a very dark and sometimes scary path of intense loneliness.. but we all need to do it..we all need to have an amount of time in our lives to go into those dark places of the soul to mine our treasure.. to find meaning.. without other’s approval and with out material baggage..both of these things we can use to define us..but they truly do not.. for it is the heart and the intentions in the heart..that define the soul.. it is in the heart of compassion that the mind becomes clarified and cleansed of past experiences and traumas.. and so it has been this way for me.. I have found my treasure and it is my strength.. I have not failed.. I thought I had as I was defining myself through other’s eyes.. I was defining myself as the world would define success.. but on a spiritual definition I have found in myself so much more than I have ever thought possible.. I found compassion..and in that compassion for myself.. I have found compassion and the ability to forgive others.. I have learned that forgiving happens it steps and stages.. it takes time..as one has to feel each emotion to follow the pathway to the destination of forgiveness; as it is also a journey along the heart..

I have learned there are many that are not capable of understanding deep wisdom.. the wisdom of the Goddess..and other Divine wisdoms.. and in that knowing I can begin to forgive them ..as they simply do not know any better than what they are able to understand.. with this.. I can let them go and continue down this trail that I am forging.. that I am creating as I go..as it is my Divine Purpose to do so… and with that I can love myself and others… I can love the journey.. I can love the experience..and when I come to those times of intense hopelessness.. ( as I will again) I can forgive again and come to compassion.. I can love regardless of how other’s treat me or how they affect me,, this is true unconditional love.

I have learned not to give myself away to those who do not deserve me.. but I have learned to let them go with love..

Even if my book is not worldly success.. my spiritual journey with The Goddess Energy.. has been my success

As love is the destination.

Tearing Down The Temple

 

Before there was Christianity the first holy couple were Isis and Osiris.. and their son Horus.. many of the mythical ways in which this holy family came into being are expressed in the Christian story of the Holy Family.. and isn’t amazing that the Jewish people were the slaves of the Egyptians and their savior’s story expressed in the biblical old testament are almost exactly the same?

Before I go into the birth and life of Jesus I would like to explain to you through a history lesson how the bible was constructed.. it was in 325 AD that the Council of Nicaea was held by the Roman Emperor Constantine.. you see the Roman Empire was in dire straits due to the fact that everyone was fighting over the sake of religion.. Pagans and the Christians and all the other sects could not get along.. this was causing Constantine much grief.. I mean who do you kill and punish when there are so many to kill and punish to get control..and of course the first order of any empire is to support it`s self off the surf.. it`s really hard to collect taxes when people are fighting and not working to create a taxable income..and so it was that they decided the majority of people in Rome were following Christianity so lets make it a legal religion so we can get some control here and make some money to buy more gold and create more trade..

They left some Paganism in to help smooth things over.. like holidays sounding similar and practicing some of the same traditions on those holidays..and so it is that we do this today..we are both pagan and christian in our western society..when most call themselves and think of themselves as only being christian..

They added the virgin birth..and paying out of purgatory to create and functional guilt machine..that produced lots of money!.. They made the society a patriarchal society..taking women out of spiritual roles..and there by giving men all of the power..by making the Mother of God a virgin they induced shame towards women`s sexuality to further the control over the weaker sex.. shame and guilt were and still are the big humdingers that keep people in check..and keep them PAYING INTO THE CHURCH..

Even the bible it`s self was created in that many Gospels were kept out of the bible..many of them feminine books that included female prophets, the words at the end of the bible..saying that nothing more can be added or taken away or this would be seen as blasphemy ..was indeed away of putting owner ship on GOD..and making sure that no one would dare defy the power`s that be..and of course a MAN the POPE had the final say as to how the world at large could and would hear and understand GOD..and so it was we were taught intense separation and the ego took hold of the world..and the TEMPLE OF THE EGO .. ORGANIZED Religion.. they thought they had all the books..but later on in the 1800s what is known as the Gnostic Gospels survived through the passages of time The Gnostics predated Christianity..the Gospels of Mary of Magdalene, Thomas.. The Gospel of Truth, of Philip and even Judas..but of course these were not seen as biblical by the ROMAN Catholic church.. or the CHURCH as a whole..because Mary Of Magdalene can be understood as The True bride of Christ.. Imagine sex in the holy family.. there would be no SHAME AND NO CONTROL OF THE MASSES..

If we look at the story of Jesus`s mother Mary in a realistic way..we could easily see that at the time in history she was probably raped by a Roman Soldier..to save her from being stoned to death Joesph stepped up and married her.. I  really do not think they even had to tell anyone that she was a virgin carrying the son of God.. but they may of had to if word got out by rumor to save her life…even to this day in the middle east women are still stoned to death for this reason.. ( have we evolved people) I do not think so..we are still shaming women and holding them accountable for rape even in what we consider civilized society.. we say did she deserve it..was she drunk..how was she dressed.. slut. This is what the virgin birth has done to society.

Jesus was a man that was a savior; if not just by the way he lived and that he saw through the ego.. this is the understanding of the ( Christ Consciousness) He wanted to TEAR THE TEMPLE DOWN..the EGO.. the was sent to cleanse the TEMPLE and he taught the TEMPLE WAS WITHIN.. he taught us that we are directly connected to God or the HIGHERMIND..and He was in direct connection to the HIGHERMIND or GOD..He had a wife.. Mary of Magdaline..that the CHURCH made into a whore to shame women..but their story was a love story..she washed his feet with her hair and tears..telling him that he was her lord that she loved him above all others.. when he told her to go and sin no more.. he was saying..be with no other but me..and of course this is what she wanted..no other but her beloved lord.. his friends were a jealous ..as they knew he wouldn`t come fishing as often..he would and did favor her above all others.. he would of shared more meals with the woman he loved..and in the Gnostic Gospels..her Gospel you can read that she was his equal in being a prophet and knowing the GODHEAD or HIGHERMIND..and this is why they belonged together.. when they murdered him for being a rebel against the organised Jewish religion the Pharisees ..she dressed his body with his mother.. only a wife and a woman in deep love would..and she was the one asleep at the entrance to his tomb..when she saw that his body was not there she wept at the thought of them taking her beloved`s body away..it was she who spoke to the Angel that told her not to cry as he was risen.. it was she whom he came to first in spirit..and it was she he told not to touch him..not because she was dirty but because he was not of the world anymore..he was pure spirit..but she was his beloved and this is why he came to her..and he left for her the work of the spirit.. to make the world as one.. This was their love story.. hidden in shame.. hidden away the key to all of this ego density that we all suffer in..the hell that we have made for the sake of greed and control.

Jesus and Mary were humble.. the lived simply and the lived for LOVE.. we are told through them that the temple is within..that we are all one in the same..bother`s and sister`s in the Christ Consciousness.. we are the same as them..the key has been in true equality and the purity of letting go of greed and control..

The key is knowing that the Royal Couple has existed throughout time..that sex is sacred in the TEMPLE OF LOVE

She is the Goddess he is the God in every man and women.. it is time humanity that we evolve and grow up.. you see this Royal Couple exists in every spiritual understanding through out the ages.. we just hid them behind shame.. Every man and women in deep love..they are this couple.

It is time to turn to love again to be saved..

Submission

 

 

ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yZFTlK2Tuc

I suggest that you listen to the music above to submerge yourself into this writing.

It is now that we are being asked to surrender ourselves, to dive deeply into powerful emotional, sexual and spiritual waters.. it is now that all the energies are merging into the unification of the sacred marriage of the light and the dark.. it is the time of the New Golden Age as all of the most ancient of memories and wisdoms combine upon us.. and yes it is the Masculine and the Feminine that Unite.. as Mother Earth rises to her Groom.. Father Sky and we are the re-born children of this sacred submission and surrender..as they both..both of these energies surrender and submit in their sacred love to one another.

We are over taken by the flow of this energy as it is like two rivers converging upon each other in a new ocean of divine understanding.. we are taken over by emotions.. by  passions..of the need to express love and compassion.. this we do when we ourselves are expressed in the postive.

Those that I am concerned for are those who are living in the negative as the negative expression of this is hate towards the opposite sex.. it is expressed in the need to do harm to other’s or to the self.. this is an important message to those who are heart-sick with bitterness, revenge .. those who live for only money wealth or greed.. it is time to put yourselves in order..as these feelings will only intensify as we approach the middle of this month November 2012.. as all will come to to a climax then.. it is important that you reach a stage of forgiveness as this hatred will not be felt by those you will not forgive but will manifest it’s self 100x within the self.. as it is never those that we hate that feel the hate.. it is only you that feels the hate within your heart.. it is you that will sink under these emotional swells.. these huge waves of intense emotion that are beginning to gain momentum right now.. you must unload your burdens are you will drown yourself.. as all that you carry now must be let go of.. it is sink or swim.. or better yet float with the current..

It is important that we ground our root chakra deep within.. deep roots to maintain balance..take care of body and soul.. as the roots need to anchor you so that you are not swept away in what feels like madness..express your sexuality.. eat healthy..get outside.. move your bodies.. and then go deep within..

This the age of wisdom.. and so it is this month we will feel it rushing in.. those who are sensitive to spiritual energies..will feel down loaded.. we will share our message..we will make new connections..and we will keep connecting out..as the hive of the mind buzzes with new life and new thought..as the DNA is re-connected..and the passages of the mind that have not been of use in the past..will take up life..the will make connections..and a new awareness shall take up like never before..or it will simply be understood by that of memory..we will remember of the time before this time..were we will know our divinity and that we are all indeed Gods..the Christ Mind takes up..all and everyone a divine spark..we come together..and the Divine Fire.. explodes.. THE AGE OF WISDOM.

Wisdom from each and every culture from every understanding upon the Earth..and then the Wisdom of the Heavens shall flood the Earth..

This is the time to set yourself in order..all that needs to be sorted within the self..shall be rearranged; it is now..this is the time of cleansing..

This energy is very sensual..very deep as it takes place in the sign of Scorpio..and then when the cleansing of deep emotion runs it’s course the wisdom of Sagittarius and Mercury takes up.. wisdom with swift movement..all comes rushing in..the new begins..accelerated change..The Golden Age.

Links