Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Chiron Tears

 

Sometimes there is a gift or two in sadness, suffering and sorrow. We are a society that is constantly searching outside of ourselves for happiness and fulfillment. But what if it is the constant searching that makes us unhappy? We are always waiting for a better tomorrow and a brighter day but when we do this, we are not being in the moment or being present in our truth ,and the reality that we are currently facing. I have been doing this by telling myself that when I meet my soul mate my life will begin again. I have put myself in a frozen holding pattern by telling myself I will not be fulfilled unless a man loves me romantically again. I have wanted to prove to my ex husband that I am lovable by finding a man to love me the way he refused to do. But then if I believe this I am not loving myself and I will not be loving the man I could be with. I would just be in love with love or romantic notions rather than with myself or with the person that I am with.

I have been doing this with my book as well. Telling myself my life will begin as soon as I reach the success of having a publishing house publish me, and by reaching public notice, that my life will then begin. But the truth is my life and I have always been here this entire 8 years since my husband left me with our three kids. The truth is just the fact that I wrote a book and self published the bo0k has been a level of success that few people ever reach. The truth is that happiness has not evaded me but I have been finding excuses to ignore it.

I learned this lesson from the last man I dated just a few days ago. I fell into the online fantasy again and did what I said I would never do. That was texting and face timing with a man for hours before meeting with him in person to see if there was a physical connection. In the last 8 years of my single life it has always ended badly. You see it is easy to construct a romantic fantasy online. It is easy for men and women to profess to be much more online than in person. It is like building a castle in the clouds. It is nothing but fantasy that cannot be in reality. When I was on my way to meet him I felt a deep sadness because inside I knew what was going to happen. It crashed and burned. He told me he didn’t find me attractive by text message afterwards. I felt the fall again. The fall from the castle in the clouds. I went over everything he said to me in my head ” I really feel like something amazing is happening between us, something very special.” that’s what he said; and I fell for it like a total fool. Like I said, this wasn’t my first rodeo. I have had so many of these meet up dates over the last 8 years I can’t possiblily remember them all, it must be over 100. Yet here I was falling into the same patterns of longing and yearning for the fantasy man who would ride in on his white horse and save me from loneliness.

One of my worst fears is dying before I am loved by a man

But then what if I drop the false hope? What if I drop the yearning and the longing and I let myself fall deeply into the wound of loneliness? What if I stay in the wound for awhile and explore the pain? What happens when I just allow myself to be in the reality of being alone? What if there is never going to be anyone? Can I be happy just being alone? Can I learn to except myself as the loner, weird artist, spiritualist that has always never fit in? What if I just accept the reality of the place that I am? It’s drinking my tears to heal my wound because the wounds of abandonment cannot be healed if I keep abandoning myself in this loneliness. And that is the gift in the suffering, itis  learning to accept myself as I am, it is learning that real love isn’t a fantasy and anyone that tries to sell you on a fantasy isn’t looking for the real thing; and wouldn’t know the real thing if they think a fantasy is love. Because real love is accepting yourself and others for all their imperfections and wierdness. I was willing to look past his imperfections but he was not willing to do the same. Sometimes it is better to be alone. I felt myself fall and get pulled down by crashing reality because I allowed the fable.

Sometimes being hopefull is actually being in denial because my heart knew and my intuition knew exactly what was about to happen because my subconscious was waking up to my denial. So there is no fairytale ending but there is a real and honest happiness in facing the truth. No one can make me happy but me and no one can heal my emotional pain and wounds but me. My happiness is my responsibility, moment to moment because the moment is all we have.

My book is available on amazon.com ~ The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ~ by Gracie Ackerman

An Organized Goddess Religion

 

 

Why would we want an organized Goddess religion when we know what religion has done to the world by causing inequality and wars? A Goddess religion could create a balance in society by being a fair and just religion that is equal; creating equalities and justice for all the people by the way it is practiced and by the way it’s dogmas or rules are formed to support all of humanity. The patriachial religions that exist today uphold a few men; by sex and sexual orientation. The patriarchial relgion particulary hates women causing great inequality and the war of the sexes as women and gays sexuality is judged as file by the following scriptures.

Leviticus 27: 3 -7 God defines the value of women as 60 percent of men’s value

Leviticus – If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman,both of them have done what is detestable, they must be put to death.

Islam – don’t marry a women that are already married unless they are slaves that you stole in war

Hindu – Males aged 24 and 30 should marry females between the ages of 8 and 12

Judaism – A womanis a sack of excretment

Buddhism – Nuns have one third more rules to follow than monks in the vinaya-pitaka. The failed man becomes a woman in the next life.

Jainism – Women cannot achieve liberation without being reborn as men first.

Anyone who knows anything about religion can find passages like this riddled throughout patriarchial religions text or scriptures of multiple different religions that were created by men in the name of a male god. For thousands of years these religions that clearly teach hate and sexual repression have also created societies that act in tern. We see this hate and bigotry seeped into governments legislation and laws. If a religion existed that stood up against this religion’s bigotry we could create a more balanced and psychologically healthy world or society.

So my dear reader lets create it. First every religion needs deities; because The Goddess is about justice and balance she chooses to stand with her God, and their children and so we have The Divine Feminine, The Divine Masculine and all their creations, including all of nature. This is a religion based on seeing sex as sacred rather than as evil or sinful. This religion is based upon loving all that is natural including the needs and wants of the body. The body is seen as the sacred holy temple of the divine light of the soul. All races and sexual orientations are welcomed and loved in The Goddess Relgion as sacred. The Goddess Religion respects that all people have a different lens that they understand the divine through and so many God and Goddess archetypes and templates are given symbols, rituals and scriptures to help us to all rise towards our divine nature; towards the highest aspects of one’s own specific divinity or soul.

Unlike the patriarchial religions that preach women’s bodies, wombs, menstruation, breastfeeding, childbirthing and ovulation as dirty and unclean; The Goddess Religion will honour the miracle and the wisdom in the life and death giving powers of the feminine body. Saying ” There is power in the blood,” will take on a new meaning. The Divine Masculine and the Divine Femine will come together once more in sacred worship. The war of the sexes will end when sex is sacred and bodies are not dirty but of love and light.

In The Goddess Religion no one will be put above others as it will be a cirlce of light rather than a ladder of success to climb in the wordly sense of powering and ego tripping above others; those who are self taught, and wise seekers will all be able to lead and organize the worship.

It will not be a place of business or of social competition as this will take away from the zen, peace, manifesting and inner soul work. It is a place were all are welcome and filled with energy not stripped of it due to wordly ventures.

Being that the church has to be established the first services would be held in rented halls; community buildings or private homes, backyards and parks. The problem with establishing the religion is getting enough people together who are brave enough to stand against the social stigmas and who have the will power to put in the time and effort to organize and execute. We have to understand that the main force behind the patriarchial religions was to control and conquer masses of peole and it still is the main force behind it. The force behind The Goddess Religion is love and acceptance or true spiritual healing vs world domination; so would that be enought to get people together to actually make it happen?

This is an organized model of a Goddess Gathering or Service

Music and singing to welcome the worshippers – they all say together under the priestess and priest ” We all come together in the Divine Light of the Eternal Mother and Father ” as this is a unification and a invocation or invitation that the God/ Goddesses join us

There would then be introductions and hugs and announcements of births/deaths/engagement/weddings/birthdays etc.

More music or even a solo performer and then there would be prayers and a guided meditation.

There would be writing and or scriptures written of the specific God or Goddess that would be a part of the specific spiritual lesson or ritual of the service. There would be symbolisms used and those making living testimony of their own spiritual experiences towards the message or meaning of the God/Goddess choosen for the worship.

More praying or specific ritual towards that diety as to close the service

An offering would then take place to support the church

The worshippers would then be sent off with more singing and music to be dismissed towards coffee and refreshments for more unformal socializing afterwards.

The services would be held in the evening of Friday 13 as this is the day of The Goddess or the feminine. There would be specialized gatherings for new and full moon rituals as well as astrology and other spiritual but not patriarchial beliefs would be included in much of the worship and ritual.

Same sex marriages would take place and open sexual relationships would not be judged. Misogyny, emasculating and child abuses would not be tolerated as all members of the church would be treated with respect and equality.

” Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” would still stand as valuable spirituality.

Of course the reality is that this religion doesn’t exist today; we still have male religious leaders giving women allowances over their bodies like ” It’s ok to breastfeed discreetly in church but don’t have abortions or use birth control.” we still have churches that refuse to let women minister and churches that refuse to include gay and lesbian people. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if this relgion existed and you could taylor God and your worship of God/Goddess to be just as unique and special as you are? It would be lovely to see us all in heaven.. but what if we created some heaven on earth?

Just maybe one day this will happen.

Justin Trudeau and the Patriarchy

 

Dear Mr. Trudeau the patriarchy is a system of society or government which men hold power and largely exclude women from it. The patriarchy is also religions based on the rule and worship of male gods that exclude female gods. It’s interesting how what we believe governs us from above manifest as governing us on earth. The worlds first spiritual or religious practices were governed by both female and male gods. The seat of religion, historically is the Middle East; this is were the three most powerful worlds religions were formed and of course were there is the highest concentration of war and violence today due to these religious beliefs or dogmas. But before Roman Times ; Gaia was believed to have been the first God or Goddess to have given birth to the cosmos and all of it’s creations. When the Middle East and Rome began to grow and expand it’s empire through war, Zues the god of war began to take over the belief systems of mankind. With the belief of all male gods men on earth began to use violence against women and their children to enslave them into being property vs being equals. We see that to this date in dogmatic beliefs that make women sex and sexuality evil, tempting, seducing and distracting towards causing men to rape them, beat them and or miss treat them. Women today in our western and eastern cultures are blamed and abandoned by a male based society that vitimizes them and then chastizes them for being victims.

To this very day men of power like yourself use women issue;s like feminism as a means of self promotion to then further control women by promoting patriarchal religions like Islam, Christianity and Judaism ( just to name the three most powerful ) as being pro- feminism or pro- diversity when in fact, the fact of their specific and fundamentalistic dogmas, these dogmas written into their scriptures as a belief system; these religions and others like them are anti-woman, anti- gay and full of hate speech – is a speech which attacks a person or group on the attributes such as race, religion, ethinic origin, sexual orientation, disablity or gender – yet you have termed the phrase Islamaphobia as a potentially hate speech to label those who appose it’s sexism or misogyny, or terrorist attacks done in it’s name as racist. What you are attempting to do is to silence freedom of speech, freedom of thought and to disolve democracy – a system of government by the whole population – there is a reason why government and religion must remain separate. Clearly government and religion must remain separate because the dogmas in religion cause hate and division by causing inequality. That inequality obviously all ready existis in this so called modern society that isn’t really modern or evolved. Women have yet to see equal pay for equal work, the law has yet to be equal or fair to women as sexism and sexual harassment exist deeply within our judicial sytems. You have yet to address in depth the sexist judges, police and courts who still further victimize women and girls for being victims of men. Yet you use your time in power to further relgion that is sexist, enslaving and violent towards women and children.

Canada is still a country that doesn’t support it’s women in children with far wages, child care and programs that help average families with, health and education so that women, children can flourish, and so that all of Canadian’s can experience a greater quality of life. It seems to many of us that you are more concerned with your own social, global profile towards other world elites than you are concerned about the health and safety of every Canadian citizen. This isn’t a populatity contest this is real life. Most Canadian’s were not born to privilege like you and it seems that you have never understood that you are not a King you are a Prime Minister of Canada, this means that you work for the people. It seems you need to be reminded of the fact that our tax dollars pay your wages and that accepting gifts of vacations from your filthy rich elitist Muslim friends ( Who of course is a man ) has erroded the people’s confidence in you. You have not put all of our interests into perspective but simply a select few whom you can use to further your own political goals and strategies. Going by the history above it is easy to reason that your goals along with the other powerful men of the world is to keep the power over women;  by confusing them into believing that patriarchial based relgions support feminism by having women internalize misgyny by being brainwashed and slut shamed by their dogmas. Having women believe that they are responsible for enticing men by exposing their bodies or expressing their sexuality is misogyny. It starts in the school system by sending young girls home for wearing shoulder bareing dresses; saying they distract the boys while teaching them that they cannot be distracted by male sexuality. These are double standards and they are inequalities; this is sexism. The government or system is teaching boys that they are not responsible for restraining themselves but that girls and women are responsible for being sexualy harassed by what they are wearing or doing. The system is not teaching men and boys not to rape but is teaching women and girls how not to be raped; this then leads to victim blaming that we see in the relgious and court systems when women and girls are raped or abused.

Religion isn’t spirituality. Spirituality is truely diverse as it doesn’t judge or condemn by dogmas as everyone has a right to believe in what they like as long as it doesn’t infringe on the personal rights and freedoms of others. Religion doesn’t allow freedom to those who don’t follow it’s dogmas; those dogmas are to condemn and to cause physical harm to others who wish to be free of them. Religious freedom is an oxymoron as it doesn’t allow freedoms to those who do not follow it or even to those who do. Religion hates women as it condemns them for their wombs blood and sexual pleasure.

If you were a true feminist like you profess to be you would not be promoting religion over women’s rights or gay rights.

The only thing that you should be speaking out about is that everyone deserves not to be terrorized by religion or for their beliefs but also no one should be able to use their religion to take away the fundamental rights of others. People do have a right to speak out and to protect themselves from anyone or group that wishes to take their rights and freedoms from them in the name of their relgion or god.

If you really want diversity than how about we include some female gods in the state holidays. On my calendar I only see holidays that pertain to male gods and male worship. But that might just be too feminist for you?

Seeing Through The Spiritual Bullshit/ Spiritual Warrior

 

My personal spirituality started in a very humble, simple and quiet way. As a child I had very vivid dreams, my dreams were so real I sometimes didn’t know if I was awake or dreaming.. so did I really see and hear angels or is my memory playing tricks on me? Ancient images spoke to me so that’s why I taught myself how to read tarot cards by studying multiple books. I taught myself  how to decifer dream images. I taught myself yoga through old books and even as a small child I enjoyed nature walks alone to commune with the Earth Mother. But now all of that has changed. Spiritualiy is becoming a trend on social media and in the publishing world. Now to be trendy you have to pay to do yoga and be seen doing yoga. You have to be a certified reader by someone whom has been published by Hayhouse. Everything in the media influenced Spiritual Community has become ego driven rather than driven by the purity of The Divine Spark Within. Just like religion we are being taught to look outside of ourselves rather than within. Spirituality is really rather simple; it is being present in the moment and being your true authentic self. There is really nothing flakey about spirituality. Tends make spirituality into flaky, bullshit.

I got caught up in the bullshit too, and I know many people in the spiritual community have been and are caught up in the shit. It is shit because it is based on greed, ego and competitive fuckery. Last year this time I worked as a reader for a YouTube famous astrologer. I really liked her and things were going well with our spiritual relationship until she hired a media assistant to work for her. This lady wanted to promote me as well as her other readers but she wanted me to be anything but authentic, she wanted to promote tinsel rather than truth and so we clashed. To make a long story short, I quit and went to work out on my own. This lady is now working with another YouTube famous astrologer and so soon she will have him cleaning up his act and lossing himself in his ego rather than shinging his authentic self. I saw my own ego through this and that was the spiritual lesson and I also saw what I didn’t want to become and that was another spiritual flaky fake. At the time I was competing in Women’sBodybuilding, I learned about my own ego this time last summer and about how the ego can lead you away from true spirituality and inner peace. I was not living in the moment and I was not comfortable in my own skin. I had let a male trainer seduce me by using my own ego to get his high and money from me, to feed his ego.My zen type fitness turned into stress and pressure rather than a simple pleasure that gave me happiness. I became wise to the fact that working toward things for others approval was a certain way of falling off the spiritual path; and that path is the true path to inner happiness. True Happiness is simple, just like real and authentic spirituality it doesn’t need any special bells and whistles. 

I think the flakery in spirituality is when we think everything is a special sign from God or the Divine. Simply, this reality exists with us and without us. Most of the time we become truly intuned with or we commune with The Divine when we have reached a state of humility, gratitude or when we are in our greatest need. Not everyting, including the stars exist to please our every whim and whimper.

I know for a fact that even without paying for an expensive yoga class or reader certification that we all have the ability to commune with the spark within and the cosmos outside of us, I know for a fact that you don’t need and app for that. You don’t need an app to contact The Divine within or in the Cosmos.

You don’t need YouTube, you don’t even need cards or images, you don’t even need me as a reader to read you, you just need to meditate and pay attention to your dreams. You just need to get outside in nature, shut your ego mind down and do a few yoga poses on a mountain. I am not saying don’t listen to astrology or don’t get a reading from me or someone else, but I am telling you to put it into perspective. Spiritualists are people too,so don’t go for all the hype and media candy; that is the bullshit.

As a spiritual person it is my first perogative to lead you towards the real light rather than the shining spotlight of the ego. We all have the priest and priestess within us just waiting to be called upon.

My main focus now is to get real with my own bullshit; and to ignore or rise above the bullshit online. I belong to very few spiritual online groups, I just can’t stand watching all the fake and flaky, egotistical guru Facebook videos people post constantly wanting to be the next biggest thing in the spiritual community.. selling snake oil much? 

 

I find myself detaching more and more from the flaky spiritual community off and online. There have been times that I have walked through a spiritual fair to feel like I was Jesus walking through the Temple full of thieves.. not everyone that owns a deck of tarot cards and crystals has a gift, everyone does have the ablity to tune in but not everyone has that extraspecial talent. Spirituality has become a trend, its now what you wear, what you eat and even how you talk. It has become a costume party for some.

I have learned a lot about letting go. I just can’t pretend to be what I am not. I believe being a true alchemist is done by accepting your humanity and human experience as your spiritual walk and lesson on this earthly realm. It really is that simple. We are here to make mistakes, have fun, cry and yes even suffer to experience the fullness of life and death. It’s just not that complicated or grand. This life and it’s lessons are humbling and in that humbing there is great beauty and love.

That one in a million guy will get me

 

Driving with my son this afternoon from Vernon back home to Armstrong, we had the windows rolled down as if to welcome the sunshine and spring into the car. The sweet smell of animal shit came wafting in and I said to my son as he made a face ” That sweet smell of the country.” it was like a welcome home. Both me and my boy are learning to leave the pretentiousness of Kelowna behind us. Later that evening we decided through a friends advice not to dye his hair metalic blue because Armstrong isn’t Kelowna and his farm kids friends just wouldn’t get it. Then my girlfriend said to me ” Gracie the real you isn’t like the person you post online. I mean it is and it isn’t. The Gracie I see is low key and nature loving. You didn’t fit into Kelowna because you are not high maintenance. Like I understand why you do what you do online, but other people just will not get it especially guys. But I get it because I have to run a business and but on my business face just like you have your online profile ego and I know that it is both sides to the coin for both of us, and that we are just country girls at home.. but to other people who don’t really know you they just will not get it.” than I said to her ” But you found a guy that gets it, you found that ( one in a million guy ) that guy that is the redneck, country boy at home but the high flying business dude at work.. so if you can than I stand a chance of meeting a man that can get me and my two sides of the coin just like all of us? Or at least I hope so, because the work I do online is important and I need the ego or the persona to get the attention for the message.”

But yes she is absolutley right, it is going to be very difficult to find the man or have the one in a million man find me going by my online profile. Women’s sexual empowerment and equality, and calling myself a feminist is going to scare off a lot of men or attract men who get the wrong idea. When I was in Kelowna W. Brett Wilson called me crazy and pretentious because he is used to women like that obviously, but I think he spoke for most men who would judge me the same way going by what I post online. He told me I was attention seeking, and by a base line one size fits all defintion he was correct. The online Gracie does want attention to get the message out that a woman getting attention for her sexuality isn’t evil, slutty or shameful; but the Gracie at home in her daily life.. well I am actually quite simple. I am a little jock/nerd/mommy/country girl. Yes I am an intellectual as I can tell you that the feminine archetype I am describing here is the Artemis/Venus. You see Artemis is the other side of the coin of Venus.. so Venus would be high maintenance and very sensual and Artemis is the chaste, athletic woman or girl. A woman goes from both one to the other and that confuses men, a psychologist will know exactly what I am talking about.

I have been in my inner Artemis for a few years now as I haven’t had a sexual partner for 2 1/2 years now. I know that seems like a total contradiction towards what I put out online towards women’s sexual freedom and empowerment. Of course many men and women will assume by my online profile that I have many partners and lots of sex; but it is also my freedom to explore being chaste.

I have had a very similar conversation  with another girlfriend of mine who is working on becoming a psycholigist; as to how in my daily life and upon getting to know me personally how I am both the Artemis and the Venus and as to how I am very much the Artemis right now in my daily life. Artemis is also very grounded and intouch with nature and children.

Another of my girlfriends was telling me how awful it is that a woman cannot say she is a strong woman and than say she also wants a relationship with a man, without the world judging her as weak. She is right. I believe a strong woman can do it on her own but she is also strong by letting a man do for her, and a strong man will not want her to do everything for herself but will want to help her and show her love by helping her. I am not an old school feminist who believes that wanting and having a man in her life is weak, I believe becoming a couple with the right person can make you stronger in many ways. Most men and women will judge me online as not being open towards bring in a masculine man or country gentleman towards me for calling myself a feminist.

I am a very spiritual woman but I can’t handle spiritual flakery; I don’t want to attract a spiritual nutcase either. I think he will be my opposite and even possibly be an atheist to counteract or balance me. That is why opposites attract. I guess my one in a million guy will be like me in the fact that he can be all business and serious about his work out in the world like I am with my book and blog; but be a sweet, and chill redneck country boy at home.. He will be the one that is smart enough and brave enough to understand why and what I am doing online, and stand by me; but also he will have the wisdom and common sense to see that I am really a pure and simple soul.

As a mom it’s really hard to write, it was really difficult to take the selfie I posted here; as I try to write someone always wants and needs something and when I was taking the selfie my son kept banging on my bedroom door. I was lucky to get the pic first try. Trying to edit my blog and to edit the image… ya right.

In real life, my life is very nitty gritty. I don’t party because it’s just too much work and I like my sleep so I can get up and lift and workout in the mornings. I am actually quite basic, very loyal to my friends and family. I have never cheated on a man and I am a one man, woman. I like my daily life simple and sweet. In many ways I  can be quite old fashioned.

I am to old for this shit

 

The world is totally disconnected and on a smaller scale men and women are totally disconnected, and I am just too old for this shit. It has become much to easy for people to get their fetish kicks off snapchats, Facebook and through online dating apps than to make real, honest and truly intimate, personal connections.. and I am just too old for this shit.  I am too old and wise to go chasing after men and to go bat-shit-crazy over cock, frankly I have better things to do with my time and energy like writing this right now on my blog. I guess the problem is many women think their entire lives and spare time should be spent chasing cocky,cocks and/or competing against other women for said dick.. I am just too damn old for this shit.

As much as I seem like a bad ass rock star for going topless with my images online and having my own personal nudes in my book, I am very low key in my day to day life. I am scheduled and regimented; that means { very strictly organized and controlled } I am a single mother of three kids so in order for me to get my me-time in I damn well better have my shit together. I love my fitness lifestyle and in that I am very military. I could make the time to go out to the clubs to drink and chase after players or wanna-be-players but I would rather get to bed early to get my healing for my muscles so I can lift heavy again the next day. I would rather be spending my time on self improvement rather than being another desperate single older woman sitting on a bar stool. I am not wasting my time, on guys who just want to waste my fucking time.

And then there are vibrators; a very wonderful invention that stops good women from sleeping with assholes, because if you can self pleasure well or amazingly, awesomely well; one can wait for a man to love you rather than to just fuck you and fuck you over. I am very thankful for the invention of vibrators and I think if more women explored their own bodies there would be less desperate women to choose from; so men who play these horseshit games would have to stop games and smarten the fuck up.

One of the craziest things about living in these times of  virtual dating is that both men and women are shamed for saying they want a relationship, as if that makes you desperate and emotionally weak? It’s truly fucked up, just like slut shaming for saying you want and like sex. While wanting and liking sex is a primal need so is wanting a mate. In today’s violent society love and intimacy are seen as weaknesses rather than strengths but being cold and ruthless, self serving or selfish is seen as gangster; and we wonder why the world is totally fucked up right now.. and I am just too old for this shit.

We live in an online world were people can basically pretend to be anything they want; like happily married while they cheat on their spouses. Both men and women can pull off a false persona online while being totally creepy fucktards in person. I have learned not to waste your energy or time texting your heart and emotions to anyone online on a dating site because chances are they are married and want to fuck you secretly or they are just playing ego games with you and will not meet you in person; or when you do meet them in person they don’t want to give you their real name as their motives or intentions were never honest to begin with.

So were does this lead us to again… I am too old for this shit. Do you feel me? It seems like romance is totally dead and in it’s place a false zombie has risen to consume all of our souls. It remindes me of my ex husband’s midlife crisis, it was like ” Where is my husband and what have you done with him, you evil demon?” That is dating and romance today; it is humanity today, it seems our souls and hearts have been consumed with Snapchat filters, dating apps and online profiles that are absolute bullshit.

So what choices does that give me as a non cock chaser? Guess I better get used to the fact that I am going to be alone in the middle of the night writing on my blog….because I am too old for this shit, and too fucking wise.

The Emancipation of Women’s Sexuality

 

 

 

 

As long as women are judged by how they dress, who they are with and what they are doing as worthy of having or not having basic human rights they will not have the same rights and freedoms as an average male does in society. As long as women’s bodies are objectified as pornographic they will not be free to fully express or be who they truly are. Granted we all have to follow some social rules, but the double standards placed on women’s sexuality vs a man’s prevents women from having the same freedoms. Men are not blamed for enticing a rapist, men are not blamed for enticing sexual harasment or domestic abuse for supposedly flaunting their sexuality. The belief that men cannot control their sexual urges vs that women can control their sexual urges, is an excuse that allows men to abuse and control women throughout many levels of society and within the home.

The fact that young girls are taught in schools that they must dress in a appropriate way so as not to distract the boys from getting their education and as a way to defend themselves from unwanted sexual advances; preaches towards the social brainwashing used to enslave women to men. Women are also abused by other women who fear loosing male attention and approval by being slut shamed and bullied into dumbing down or covering up their natural sexuality and biology. Other women have proven over the centuries to be brutal and cruel towards their same sex due to competing for a man’s resources and protection.Women who are sexy or sensual, pretty and overtly feminine are seen as seducing men, and using their beauty as a tool for survival and manipulation vs just being who they are. Women have proven throughout history to be their own worst enemy or friend-ememies; some of this jealousy and hatred towards their own sexuality and other women’s sexuality is due to being brainwashed by religious dogma, that has caused internalized misogyny. For women to become free or sexually emancipated we must start within ourselves and with a sisterhood. As far as the promotion of feminism; women are keeping themselves back just as much as the patriarchy, by jealousy and internalized misogyny. If women want to rise towards true equal rights we have to become aware of our own internal misogyny and jealousy towards our own sisters.

If women had equal pay and equal opportunity and if they could be just as free in their bodies and sexuality as men; they wouldn’t have to compete from male attention or resources nor would they be pushing eachother down due to petty jealousies.

It isn’t just the partiarchy that is keeping women down it is women that are keeping women down. We have believed the lies of a media and religion that tells us to fight against each other vs standing together as a sisterhood.

In order for women to be truly free we need to be able to walk the night just as freely as men; we should be able to get dressed for work, without the worry of appearing too sexual just like men do. We are not free when we have to be constantly on edge wondering if we are in the wrong place, at the wrong time, drinking in public around the wrong people, wearing the wrong thing at work, or saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.. because society teaches and promotes that women are responsible for the abuses that men inflict onto them. Society teaches young boys that if a girl is dressed too sexy then he is entitled to harass her as it is her responsibility because she dressed like she was asking for it.

You can purchase my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) ~ by Gracie Ackerman from Amazon.ca

my website wall www.sexassacred.com

Free Goddess Coaching

 

 

Being a Goddess or your best self requires that you be yourself. I know a lot of women will seach this up on the internet looking for a step by step guide as to how to be anything but themselves. That is what society has brainwashed women into believing. You are probably wanting to know what you can wear, how you can act or special places you can go to to find your Goddess. I have seen women in Goddess Cirlces dressed like fictional Goddesses and acting in fictional ways that they think will make them more attractive to men and spiritually enlightened in spiritual societies. But honestly this is just role playing or pretend they haven’t actualized their Goddess or their best selves.

If you are looking for a tend or a concept to lose yourself in then you might not want to read this.

A woman who is truly empowered isn’t seeking the approval of others. A woman who is empowered is a Goddess as she is whole to herself. A woman who is being a Goddess is being in her own skin and is seeing herself through her own eyes. You see the patriarchy has brainwashed us through the media towards seeing ourselves and our value through the male gaze. There are many Goddess teachings by female or even male coaches and writers that promote a false Goddess understanding by teaching women becoming a Goddess is to become more attractive or alluring towards male approval. If a woman is not being herself she will not be able to sustain the ACT  and the relationship or courtship that she attracts with her ACT will fail over time because eventually the mask becomes to much of a burden to wear.

Being an empowered woman or GODDESS is not a trend, it is not a fashion nor need it be a spiritual statement; becoming empowered is simply for herself, for yourself.. it is hedonistic as it is simply for the pleasure of being you. It is for the pleasure of exploring you.

A Goddess or an empowered woman is a feminist or believes in equality because she loves herself; the only way to true empowerment is to love and respect yourself.  A Goddess owns herself, her mind, body, reproductive rights, she speaks her mind and gives her opinions. A Goddess is not a damsel in destress, she saves herself but when she needs help she will seek it out because she loves herself enough to know when she needs help. A empowered woman or a Goddess empowers other women, she helps other women by giving her wisdom freely to other women and girls who cannot afford to pay for it. Like I am doing here; but she also knows her worth and isn’t shy in asking for what is due her.

A Goddess is not a brand, just like I said it is not a trend or a fashion statement; an empowered woman and empowering other women is timeless; but, except for a select few men who are more intouch with their inner feminity most Goddess Work must be taught by women who have lived as women; because you do not know what you do not know.

As an empowered woman I do not seek out fame and fortune because I know these things are fleeting; but I seek out a medium on which to share so that all women can become empowered by the message. I don’t and nor should you need the world’s attention or approval. Fame is a vehicle and money should be a shared resource to further empower others.

A Goddess or an empowered women owns her own sexuality past shame, past religious dogma that is the male gaze or perspective, she owns her sexuality past societal norms as they are not normal. A Goddess decides what and how her body will be shaped; but because a Goddess loves herself her health and wellbeing are her main goal. A Goddess choses if modesty or nudity is right for her and doesn’t slut same other women for their own unique choices as to how they express their sexuality.

You become a Goddess by being brave enought to step into your unique and special self. You become a Goddess by loving you as you are and by loving life. You learn to love life by being grateful in the moment, by honing in on your own special gifts and talents; these special gifts and talents become your purpose. A Goddess lives into her purpose and makes life meaningful by doing so.

A empowered woman or a Goddess listens to her own intuition or inner priestess or guides. She is her own spirituality and forms her own religion on around love and compassion to herself and others.

Being a Goddess or empowered woman takes intense bravery as the world wants to constantly drag women back into the male gaze or dumbed down patriachy model of a weak and meek woman, that should be seen and not heard. I Goddess ROARS..

I am not sorry that I didn’t give you a trendy and stylish version of becoming a Goddess that you are probably used to reading. What I hope I did was help you to go deep inside of yourself to invision the greatness of you becoming more of you.

You can find my book on Amazon.ca ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) ~  by Gracie Ackerman

Please go to the front page of my website www.sexassacred.com for further information

The 4th Wave of Feminism and Breasts

I think that during my entire lifetime, up until this very point I have been on a journey towards owning my feminism. I suppose I haven’t quite understood what feminism is myself as the topic and movement have been made quite complicated by those who oppose it. The majority of those that oppose feminism or equality towards women are traditionalists that are comfortable in their conformity and entitlement. The women whom repress themselves I have learned through study have internalized misogyny. Internalized misogyny is when a woman unconsciously and consciously chooses to believe her sex to be inferior compared to men and so she must follow the rules of a patriarchial society for her own good, because she believes that her female hormones in her female body cause her to be not as intelligent or as competent as a man.

I have learned about the 4 waves of feminism and upon studying and researching this I now understand why some feminist think women like me who empower themselves through their sexuality are not feminists. It is because the second wave of feminist believed that women who displayed their sexuality were self objectifying themselves; therefore asking men to objectify them. I have since researched why it is almost impossible for a woman to objectify herself. It is not probable for a woman to objectify herself unless she sees herself as an actual object, sexuality is natural and our bodies are who we are, it is not the woman being sexy or sensual that is objectying heself but it is the lens that society has placed on women’s sexuality that objectifies a woman or women. You don’t self objectify by expressing or being your sexuality, but your sexuality can and has been used by big corperations and media to sell objects and that is objectification. Both men and women can be objectified through this lens but it is mainly women who are objectified in society run by corperations. Second wave feminist like Gloria Steinem divoced themselves from their sexuality so that men would stop objectifying them. Gloria Steinem accused Madonna the Pop Artist of self objectification, and according to Madonna she told her that she was not a true feminist because of her self objectification. But as I have stated that is a false concept. Many second wave feminist will see me much like Gloria has viewed Madonna. I found this out contacting a second wave feminist publishing house, they published a book on the ancient goddess to empower women but they found my nude or semi nude pictures of me as the goddess to be self objectifing. These woman have done so much for feminism but this is why the 3 rd wave was needed to further reform feminism.

But going back to the 1 st wave of feminism. The first wave of feminism was the martyr phase as women called themselves The Women’s Suffrage and suffer they did for all women to get the vote, they were beatenin  the streets and went on long hunger strikes in protests, they were met with violence and hatred from the male based or patriarchal legal system as they attempted to make women people and not objects to be owned by their husbands and fathers. They had to shine a light onto the victimhood placed upon women and children under the control of men who were given the power and entitlement to turn violent and brutish at will.

Back to the second wave of feminism; the second wave was begining to adress rape culture by addressing pornography and the objectification of women’s sexuality; but by adressing this many feminist of that time stripped themselves of their own sexuality so as not be seen as self objectifying and this caused the feminist sex wars. Of course pornography needed to be adressed as it was and still is using women’s sexuality to sell product. Pornography was selling and sometimes still is selling the world on rape culture as it deplicts men’s orgams and men’s sexual satisfaction over women’s and it puts women into victim roles, and roles of domestic abuse. Pornography and the media also promoted and still promtes a unattainable body image towards women. Pornography created through the lens of the patriarchy or male entitlement is abusive towards women and if taken in that context it can and has cause violence and other abuses towards women. But taking sexuality away from women as being self objectification has caused women to erode there true empowerment by denying there basic nature; much like what happens in and through the lens of religion.

And so with that we see the 3 rd wave of a more modern day feminism that promotes the ideal of women stepping into their power through embrassing their sexuality, and loving the natural and unique curves of a realistic body type that is simply their own. We as 3rd and 4th wave feminist understand that the 1 st and 2 nd waves of feminism were needed as towards the evolution of feminism and we also understand that feminism will continue to evolve but; 3 rd and 4 th wave feminist are working to abolish the sterotypes placed upon feminist as ball bashing, angry, anti man haters. Many 3 rd and 4 th wave feminists even have difficulty with the word feminist as a way to define them because they feel it excludes men in the wording. I myself have had this conversation with my daughers who are 15 and 17 as to what young girls their ages think of the word feminism. They have told me ” We like the word humanism ” Listening to my daughers and other girls their age, I think it makes sense, because in order for feminism to work it has to include all of humanity. Many men who fear feminism fear that they are disposable to women and no longer are needed in their role of protectors; the truth be tol, that if a man believes and up holds the value of women as equals and is willing to act and speak out in the defence of equality he is very much needed by women and all of humanity. The modern day feminist or humanist is about the intesection of all these roads, towards justice and equality for all.

I am a 4th wave feminist as I use social media to attempt to share and enlighten others towards justice, equality and social acceptance of all humanity. I believe we need to constantly be reforming religion, laws and politics just as often as we have been reforming feminism towards humanism as women have only wanted to be treated as having ownership over themselves just as men do. The feminist/humanist believes in sexual freedom, race and gender equality and a free flowing spirtuality over the dogma, repression and diversion of religion.

As a 4th wave I own my sexuality, I express my sexuality as artistic and empowering and I believe everyone has a right to chose modesty or nudity, chastity or to explore their sexuality on their own terms.

Kelowna Culture in Retrospect-fades to grey

 

When I moved to Kelowna BC from the small town of Armstrong BC, just an hour and a half away I thought it would be a city full of opportunity for me as an artist/writer/activist and on a personal level as a newly divorced, broken hearted single mother; I might find a new love.

I had always wanted to write my book; even as a small child I was accutely aware of the double standards, violence and sexism against women. I thought the Goddess or Wonder Woman was and still is a empowering archetype towards empowering women and girls. The main reason behind my book was to show that women and men could both be strong, emotional, compassionate and that both the sexes could strive towards true justice and equality. As a very small child raised in a strict christian household, I was still a wise old soul whom saw past the shame and sin placed on sexuality as unfounded and just silly. I would prance naked around my repressed mother as she squacked and clucked at me for my sinful nature with glee and mischeif. I just knew that logically the shame placed on sexuality and the body was unnatural not sex and sexuality.

Anyways upon moving to Kelowna and writing, producing the goddess photography or photographs of me as many goddesses, upon designing and publishing my website and blog, I was continually shocked at how the arts council and at how the leaders of Kelowna’s culture treated me as a second class citizen. I was not allowed to join in networking groups, I was not given the press release that the art’s council promised me. I was not allowed to show my book or other art in galleries or other art exhibits. I was not heard by Colin Basran, he called me to tell me there was nothing he could do about the outright prejudice and discrimination placed upon me by the leaders of Kelown’s cultural networking organizations. He told me he could not make people include me. I was made of mockery of by Laurie Welborn who’s name came up on our phone conversation. She did a video of the topless issue after pretending to be my friend off and on Facebook, it was obvious online bullying and even after she made the videos she then asked me to my face if I felt suicidal. During this time I was also harassed out of Brett Wilson’s gym by his female manager a close friend of Laurie’s, because I was told my online profile or my writing about the discrimination, sexuall harssment, sexual discrimination and women’s sexuality was a threat to Brett Wilson’s reputation. The Mayor of Kelowna was made aware of all these facts yet because I was not wealthy or well connected I simply didn’t matter to Kelowna’s socieity or culture. If I had, had a Batchelor of the Arts or other degrees I would probably of been given some credibility, but I am self taught, a natural talent, self read, self motivated, self starter and well studied and well read on my own; but in Kelowna this holds no credibility. In Kelowna’s culture of wealth and social status I was invisible. I was a minority I was an annoyance to the wealthy and connected that wanted and that wants to manipulate and mold Kelowna’s culture as they see fit; like Colin Basran, the wealthy and highly connected Cipes family and the private owners of KelownaNow. I was purposefully shut out of and silenced from Kelowna’s culture as a threat towards Kelowna’s professional and pristeen tourist orientated brand. Kelowna’s culuture has become a tourist brand. I was made invisible by sexual prejudice, ignorance and going by Laurie’s videos.. hate.

Looking in retrospect at Kelowna’s culture; it is culture based on wealth and the accumulation of wealth; as Kelowna tried to paint me over with shades of grey to make me invisible as a part from the culture or IMAGE they wish to create and brand, Kelowna is grey or bland in it’s culture as it steals from other cultures what it feels is culturally safe and acceptable- but isn’t this just the Canadian way of the arts in general? What is Canadian culture but a washed out version of American or US culture? And we wonder why Candian artist can’t make a go of it in Canada?

I was the biggest feminist in Kelowna but Kelowna effectively phased me out by overwhelming me and my children through me by it’s overt prejudice towards me. But my children and I are slowly loosing our Kelowna Culture wash; my kids are not feeling the need to be overly competative or to dress to impress others, and I am finding peace and solitude in the countryside. It is all slowly fading to grey.

I learned that I never needed to be in Kelowna to pursue my arts and feminist activism and that I would never of met anyone in that culture due to how they would be washed by that culture into seeing me through prejudice. I learned that I am unique and special, special enought to stand out from the crowd and make it on my own an on my own terms..and by make it, I mean being me and doing what I love. I can share and educate here through my own creations.

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