When She Own’s It


How many times do I have to write about this topic before it will sink into the collective consciousness of humanity? Women’s bodies and wombs are regulated by government, a government that is male based or strongly influenced by mainly men.. we call that The Patriarchy. The Patriarchy isn’t just in religion as religion is steeped into government mandates or rules and regulations.. hence abortion always being on the table or the mandating of the womb. The control of the hand that rocks the cradle..for as the old saying goes..an old saying put froth by the Patriarchy centuries ago

” The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” and so it is that men { generalizing here} do everything to control the hand that rocks the cradle. Funny that the word ( Man ) is in ( mandate ) meaning to give over one’s authority to another. And so it is that a woman’s sexuality is only permissible if it passes through the gates of a male lens or certain standard. If a woman own’s it; if she is free with her own sexuality she is labeled as obscene and indecent. Such as the issue of women breastfeeding in public or going topless on public beaches. I suppose we need to mandate this in order to make men feel that they will not loose their sense of freedom by allowing women to have theirs.. did you notice the word ( allow ) and isn’t that just the core of the issue? How do men retain this control of women? It is simply through abuse. It is physical, financial, mental and emotional abuse.. many of these abuses we see present in the average daily relationships between men and women..but wait.. is it all his fault?

No it’s not entirely all his fault as much as it is the faulty way that society has taught all of us to view women’s sexuality through this tainted and unhealthy lens.. because these abusive patterns are rigid belief systems.. such as RELIGION .. stagnate us as the entire human race towards moving forwards to enlightenment or becoming conscious of our unhealthy and hurtful nature towards what is simply natural. A woman’s body will not make a man do evil things, or render him helpless to her sexual power.. that only happens if he tells himself that it will happen.. therefor using it as an excuse to loose power over his own common sense and better judgement not to be responsible for his own behaviors.

Quite simply the abortion and birth control debates are based on fear level thinking..not on fact or science. Seeing the human body as evil and or sinful for it’s nudity rather than seeing it as the natural beauty of art and science is also ignorant fear based thinking.. by those brainwashed by old and outdated social norms that create anything but normalcy. Shaming, blaming, controlling women and girls with the fears of violence, rape ( rape is sexual violence ) and it isn’t her rape to own.. it is his sickness to own .. financial manipulation by controlling a woman’s money .. ( society propels this by not paying women equal to men or making child care affordable.. or abortions legal..or birth control easy to access.. and then of course their is the emotional abuse )

” You crazy slut. Put some clothes on you nasty bitch. Wanna fuck whore.. you must wanna fuck because you look like you are dressed to fuck.” need I say more??? Seems I always have to say more.. falls on def ears.. ignorant ears that see my work about women’s sexuality as {Putting it out there}.. because * SHE SHOULD HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR HERSELF* I want to know how people equate a woman using her body as art in photography as me or other women not having respect for themselves? I don’t understand why you can’t be intelligent enough to catch yourself in your own knuckle dragging ignorance to not be able to see that I am doing this to prove a point here..and that is to expose ignorance and enlighten and educate the ignorant by living the message of women’s sexual freedom by being free.. so if you have half a brain you should be able to put 2 and 2 together by what I wrote above as to why I wrote my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) and as to why I use my own image and story in the book.. let me go over it once again for you ” I am owning it” do you get it now?

And of course because of doing my best to expose ignorance..to turn the light on in the dark ages, to bring about the golden light of intellectualism .. the ignorant zombies came at me x3 fold.. funny how that works.. ” Don’t make us think and evolve it’s painful.. we like our stupid stupor .” And so I have met with sexism and hatred ..with name calling.. being blacklisted and black balled ..even by those who profess spiritual enlightenment, to promote equality, women’s rights and even intellectualism.. but dysfunction dies hard..and to deviate from the norm brings social ostracization .. even if the normal in society is sick with abusive behaviors.. even if society is killing it’s self by not living to it’s full potential by keeping half the gender down and enslaved by sexual shaming and perversions..

As we know women’s sexuality can be sold by men or the Patriarchy within what they deem as worthy of sale..and so with that women are enslaved by chains around the ovaries .. by their body image being sold back to them as an impossible ideal to obtain.. we are either Madonna or Whore..Good Girl or Bad Girl.. seen through the lens of the Patriarchy a woman’s psyche is torn in 2 ..as she is no longer the Earth Mother… the natural nurturer.. she not allowed to move in her full essence and so she is drained of her full power by men who are not true men ..as mature men welcome and relish in the full essence of woman’s juicy ” Owning it.” And  also she is drained by other women shaming her due to socialized patterns of behavior ingrained into them by a sick society, they rob themselves of the Goddess within them..by denying the Goddess in other women.

And so ” When She Own’s it” when she steps into her skin unapologetic.. when she redefines the word ” Bitch” as ” Queen” and that is “”Queen Bitch to you!”" she steps into her Goddess.. and that is what frail men..insecure men are terrified of because once she own’s it, he has to grow up and own his own shit.

So if the pictures that I am using in this post offend you.. it’s therapy .. the question to be asking yourself is ” WHY?” what are your issues?


I am really just an ordinary person who decided to do something extraordinary, but if I can do it so can you. I am writing the story of my fitness journey in the hopes of inspiring others to dare to reach their goals. The first step, is of course, deciding to set the goal, learning how to manage the goal by taking small steps towards obtaining the goal, and then having the tenacity to keep pushing towards achieving the goal.

It was far from easy for me. First off I am a single mom who dared to do something else extraordinary and that was to write and self publish my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) .. previous to that I had my blog ..and I set up my website to promote my book. I had a very tough time in my local community promoting my book.. in essence I was prejudiced against and blackballed by the arts and professional community. I was also sexually harassed by a older male professional ( Joel Young ) I wrote about the experience seeking justice by my community but it only worked further against me. The issue with my book is that I use my image topless as The Goddess to express myself as an artist and a writer. I write about women’s sexuality in an educated voice .. but my community is ultra conservative and frankly, sexually immature. Kelowna is full of some very fake and plastic people.. I am a threat to them because I am too raw and too real. To them the word ” authentic ” is just buzz word.. they don’t have any intention of being real and vulnerable.. it just sounds good on paper. And so because of my book and website I was bullied out of W. Brett Wilson’s gym ( Global Fitness ) and not allowed by him or his manager to have fitness photography like the other members. After I did a YouTube video about it his manager gave me a fake apology and asked me to come to her in a private appointment to ask her again..I wasn’t going to put myself through another round of emotional abuse.. She was always giving me dirty looks and blaming me for bullshit things.. and so I left that gym to go to World Gym in Kelowna.

At World Gym I made the mistake of telling Mark Smith; the manager what had happened to me at Global Fitness.. I didn’t know that Mark was a bully or that the owner Gary allowed Mark to bully members ( as I found out later I wasn’t the only one ) Mark confonted me in the front of the gym telling me that none of the other members liked me and that I should leave the gym..I asked the members on the Facebook page of World Gym if they really wanted me to leave. Mark then accused me of bullying him online and told me by phone that I was no longer allowed in the gym.. he was fired and so a year later I tried to go back into the gym but the manager told me through a staff member that I was still not allowed in the gym. Gary has refused to talk to be directly. Of course this is prejudiced and unfair yet to get lawyers involved would take time and money. Although I would win in court as he broke his legal written contract with me. Yet I still refused to give up and give in. I still went to another gym 6 days a week and worked on my fitness..and that is when Brett Godin asked me to be his client.
Brett asked me a couple of times.. I took my time to think about it because I wanted to make sure I was doing it for me. I wondered if Brett Wilson would of allowed me to have fitness photography in his gym if I was a competing competitor? I wondered if Darcia Fenton his manager would of seen me as more relevant if I had the money to pay to participate in a competition and I asked myself ” Is that why you want to do this? Do you want to prove something to these nasty, mean spirited people?” I rememberend meeting Matthew Cipes at the beach..and he asked me ” Why don’t you compete?” his father is a big wig in the Okanagan..and I fell hard for Matthew that day..and I thought to myself ” Do you want to do it for him to prove to him you are a somebody too?” Matthew broke my heart with his rejection so was I doing it for him? Was I doing it to make myself more relevant in my community that blackballed me as living spam? As Rae Stonehouse told a man who runs an Facebook networking page ” Block Gracie Ackerman, she is just spam.” Was I trying to prove to them all I am a person too? Look at me, I am an athlete? Was I doing it to prove something to Brett Godin?
The answer came up as ” No I am doing this for me. I am doing this to be the best for me and just for me. I am competing against my old self and no one else,” and so it began. Brett sent me the diet via email.

Okay, you will need a food scale!!

current photos — front side and back to be emailed in every sunday with full updates on your week
current starting weight-

updates every sunday include
current weight / last weeks weight
new photos ( front – side and back)
how your week went
did you get all your meals in ..
did you hit your cardio-

coach B
These meals are to be eaten every day

*space roughly 3 hours apart

Meal 1: 500ml water upon waking up

1 whole egg
3/4 cup egg whites
1/3 cup oatmeal
1scoop protein powder
Blend all together and make a protein pancake :)
Coffee with sweetner ( Splenda or stevia)
Splash of ” unsweetened almond milk” NO COFFEE MATE

Water = 4litres per day***

Meal 2
4oz extra lean chicken
4 oz basmati rice
1 cup veggies ( broccoli/ cucumber)

Meal 3: “pre work out meal”
1 hour before training session

3 rice cakes
1 scoop protein
10g peanut butter

Post work out meal” only on weight training days”
1 apple (medium sized)
2 scoops isolate shake

Meal 4:
4oz extra lean chicken
4oz basmati rice
1cup veggies
Meal 5 :
4oz top sirloin steak
4oz cooked yam or sweet potato
1 cup veggies

meal 6: ” before bed”
1/2 cup egg whites
2 whole eggs
10g peanut butter

Condiments you are allowed
Mustard / hot sauce / low sugar ketchup/ soya sauce / any calorie free or low carb (under 2g per tablespoon)
Low carb Canada has amazing dressings
” walden farms”
Unreal !! A available at fuel!!!! Go see Aaron

Vitamin C: 2000 mg per day
vitamin D: 5000 iu per day
calcium magnesium: 2 caps at bed time
Protein isolate of choice.
Gluatmine 5G during work out/ 5G post work out
creatine: 5G during work out
BCAA : 10 G during work out.
Spices as much as you like.

If hungry in between meals snack are veggies only at this time.

Raw measures for oats

Cooked weight on meats and yams/rice

BOOM!!! Here we go

Coach B.

I was so excited and scared as I paid him $600; as a single mom it was hard spending that money just on me. But things got weird with his girlfriend. His off and on again relationship. She started to come to the gym every day I did; where before I hired Brett I rarely saw her, and then she dicided she was going to compete as well. The wierdness was that she started to compete with me for his attention. She was obviously jealous and insecure about me as his client, since I was single and decent looking. I couldn’t get anytime with Brett as my coach, he wasn’t communicating with me, and when I told him his girlfriend was stalking me around the gym he showed her the text messages. I couldn’t handle the immaturity and fired him. Yet it never really stopped. She stalked me right up to the competition even had to stand right smack up against me during qualifying night.. and Brett didn’t give me back any money I had to have the gym, he was working at give me back $600. But I didn’t give up. I refused to give in and so I asked another female trainer returning from maturnity leave to train me. And it worked well at first. She tweeked Brett’s diet plan, I paid her $350 to start and then gave her the other $600 the gym paid me back for Brett’s bullshit. She trained me hands on and gave me some great routines, yet she found a fulltime position and then started to blow me off. She stopped communicating with me. I would text her and it would take days for her to text me back. As the show approached she told me nothing of what to expect. When I started to carb deplete I was getting very emotional. So when she finally text messaged me back I told her what I thought of her lack of communications. Yes I threw a few f-bombs in my text but we are both adults and so I thought she could handle my honesty. But instead she sent me some uppity email telling me how great she was and that actually I hadn’t paid her what she is worth.. and so I let her go. I didn’t need her guilt tripping stress with me at the show. I had to concentrate on facing many people in the fitness community that had treated me poorly as you can read above.. and she knew that..but Beata cared only about Beata..she didn’t contact me after the show to see how I did..because she never really cared in the first place.
Beata also told me to bring wine into a show that was drug tested; I would of been disqualified and not able to compete for 2 years.. and so I wonder at her motives?
I loved the bikini that I bought off my friend Erica; and Erica was a great emotional support to me leading up to the show. She contaced me online to give me priceless adivice on what to bring and expect during the qualifing night and show. She was like my Fairy Godmother although she is younger than me. Erica showed up to the morning show to cheer me on and take a picture of me competing.

Qualifying night was tough. When I saw the women I was up against my heart dropped and with that, reality sunk in pretty quickly. I knew I was in last place and I also knew that many people would pick me appart on stage for not measuring up to these other women. Yet I admired their fitness and they gave me much to aspire toward..and I cheered them on and clapped for them while on stage with them during the final show the next night.
The spray tan was the worst; I told the woman spraying me down that I was a writer and that I was going to write about my experience and she said ” An intelligent bodybuilder.. now that’s refreshing.” we both had a good giggle. And then it was off to make up; the stage makeup had to match the dark spray tan, and it had to be bright enough to see from the stage. I really felt like a plastic doll. My lashes were like branches. But the over all effect was quite stunning really.
I got to the theater super early due to nerves and not knowing what to expect; and so I went home and came back again. There was one of my haters helping out back stage and she openly used her body language to let me know she was gossiping about me to others, yet she just gave me more fuel. I had other competitors help me get my bikini on; the other female competitors were amazing women. There was a lot comradery.
I placed or was given a metal because there were only 5 women in my class; when there are only 5 all 5 move on..and so I did. Was it dumb luck, or was it fate? Yet I worked very hard to be standing with these amazing women.
I was in the gym 6 days a week for 2 1/2 hours a day. Many athelets break up their lifting and cardio, but as a single working mom I had to do it all at once or not at all..and so I would start with 50 min of cardio and hour of weights and then end with more cardio. I was cooking meal prep for myself and cooking separate meals for my kids. And when I wasn’t working or cooking I was sleeping.

As you can see this didn’t just come to me; it was an inner and outter battle. I couldn’t and I still cannot control what other’s do to me; be they coaches, or professionals, but I can control what I do with it..and so I turned the negativity into postivity, by using it as my motivation and fuel.
I think the most dangerous part of competing or being an athlete is allowing it to define you or making it your entire life.. I think it is important to be yourself no matter what. It is important to maintain your individuality ..and that is especially hard in my community.
I was talking to a therapist at my gym today that is from the UK..and she told how conformed Kelowna is compaired to other cultures and how nice it is to meet someone like me here that isn’t trying to be Kelowna Perfect..
And she asked me today knowing that I had just finished and competed in my first Women’s Figure Competition ” How is your Inner Goddess Gracie?” and I said ” She is still herself..she is doing fablous.”
So I am just an ordinary person who dared to do something extraordinary..that took a lot of hard work and determination..
But the moral of the story is that ” You define you… never let other’s put a label on you.”

Will I compete again? That depends on finding a decent trainer. It depends on money and finances because it’s very expensive. The total cost of food, supplements, training and fees came to over $3,000.00 So was once enough to build myself confidence and character? I started this journey to better my health and to learn how to control my diet.. do I have anything else to prove to myself? Because I have nothing to prove to anyone else. So I am on the fence right now..but one thing is for sure and that is I love health and fitness. I did this because I love my body; but I am much more than just the way I look on the outside and in the fitness world many people forget that a beautiful body means nothing if it carries an ugly heart. I want to make sure I am doing it for the right reasons; not to feed my ego but to feed my heart and soul.

Strombo/Ghomeshi/CBC Verdict from a Feminist


So the verdict is in Ghomeshi isn’t guilty of sexually assaulting any of his female co-workers because the women held back from the judge.. making them uncredible witnesses in the eyes of the judge. Old story relived in the court room again and again..because it’s ok to strangle a woman close to unconscious while having sex with her.. you are having sex with her so once she agrees to have sex with you .. well you can basically do whatever else you want to her..because she is having sex..and we all know women that have sex are sluts and whores..and women that have sex outside of marriage are the worst! Her story is always hearsay anyway.. but men will write about her story and give it instant credibility by the stroke of a pen held by the all mighty male hand after the fact,,the fact that she will not receive justice in the courts..and don’t you fucking get mad either girls because George likes women who are kind and nice.. Ghomeshi likes em that way too…but poor little Ghomeshi..according to his sister they have been through a lot as a family ..because how dare these women stand up for there rights.. how dare they tell their stories..how dare they attempt to get their dignity back after it was stripped away from them..and how dare they try to make some sort of emotional connection with their abuser after the fact..because psychological damage is a bitch..but according to the judge they were just the bitches .. those bitches..and according to Gs sister..they are bitches for putting poor G and his family through this trial by media before the actual trial..but never mind because Strombo hasn’t tweeted a gawd damn thing.. because I am sure CBC has told him to just shhhhh..” Just post about hockey and feel good shit George.. post about word news and terrorist attacks ..and the world will forget about these bitches George.”

But that’s ok because some man will write about and do some psychological research on it to help make us all feel better about forgetting about it..so we can concentrate on Hockey and shit.. Let just tune into Georgey’s little radio show..and be trendy little Toronto hipsters n stuff.. let’s pretend to be intellectuals and artists.. lets make believe this shit away by being as shallow and fake as possible..then lets post about Woman’s Day again next year!!! Ya lets just stick our heads clean up our asses and women will forget..until they are raped ..hate fucked or sexually harassed in the work place..but girls don’t be bitches about it? Don’t you dare go and tell the cops..because they will ask you ” What did you expect to happen when you went to his place? What were you wearing? Were you drunk? Did you have sex with him before? How often do you have sex..how sexually active are you? Did you like it at first? Do you have fresh semen in your vagina?” We just have to accept the fact that it’s a man’s world ladies..oh ya..and be ladies..don’t be a brazen broad like me.. if you want to keep your man be kind and sweet.. let him watch hockey in peace..go make him something to eat now..that’s what George and CBC want you know.. let’s all just keep doing what we have always done and let the boys play the good old hockey game..and if you don’t want to be raped, harassed, molested or beaten.. just keep your legs crossed and your mouths shut..

Carry on trendy, fake crowd..fuck the real stuff.

Oh end of rant..but just so ya know only guys have a licence to rant and be taken seriously..because a woman who rant’s is just plain cray cray.. Brett Wilson says so.. I am thinking of getting a T shirt made that says ” Cray Cray.. cause Brett Wilson says so.” Long live the patriarchy bitches!..

Brett Wilson.. P.S. I still have the nudes of you on file.. I look at them all the time.. just saw them again picking out an image for this post.. ” Your pretty fly for a white guy.” xxoo haha!

Matthew Cipes

Your brother blocked me for asking a question .. how dare I!

I should know my place in Kelowna society by now, right? I should know I am just a single mom, I don’t have any social status and I don’t fit in to your father’s Goddess ideals. I should just know my place and shut up ..

How dare I love you Matthew on first sight. What is wrong with me? Who do I think I am? Obviously you thought I am just after your families money and social status. After all Brett Wilson has written by public forum that I am crazy. I must be crazy to believe that you would actually believe that it was possible to fall in love with your soul upon first sight.. only crazy people do things like that. Or is it that you think so little of your self that you don’t think it was possible? It was really cruel of your guy friends to make fun of me.. by posting things on their Facebooks about what kind of woman you should or shouldn’t commit to. Of course I am in their trash categories.. just the racy little whore or side bitch a man bangs till he finds himself a woman of virtue and social quality.

How dare I open up my heart and share my fears and vulnerable side to you.. who does that ? but crazy bitches trying to manipulate a man’s compassion so she can just get into his wallet and break his heart.. especially someone that looks like me.. meeting on the beach in my bikini.. that must of been forethought of as a way to seduce you..for you families wealth and social status.

Because I am sensual and pretty means I must be a bitch.. just a dangerous man eating parasite.. that’s how you looked at me anyways.

Putting on my lip gloss in front of you was of course more seductive manipulation..because I am an evil woman who showed her breasts in photographs. I can’t possibly have a heart that can be broken or any feelings.. and of course if you and your families social rejection of me has hurt me..it’s my own fault ..because I am being a victim in your eyes, your not accountable at all for hurting me or my feelings..and of course I don’t have any feelings according to society, women like me deserve to be treated like trash because by being sexy we don’t deserve respect or dignity.

I am not capable of love..because I am single mom that is a nobody.. when am I going to learn that I am nobody by your standards and by Kelowna’s uppity societies standards? When will I finally learn my place as just a volunteer.. not that I would even be allowed to volunteer at any event now..not after trying to be different and not kissing rich and socially connected asses?

Did it ever occur to you that your family gets so many people to volunteer for them because they want social credit or money from them?

I don’t get any help with anything. I am moving in a week and I have to hire people to help me move. I have to pack up my entire house by myself. I am exhausted already..I am exhausted because I am training for a Women’s Figure Competition..you asked me why I don’t compete ..that day on the beach.. and you told me that there is very little cardio to do.. you were wrong. I didn’t compete because it’s so expensive Matthew.. it’ will cost me $2,000.00 in total for personal training, the bikini, diet plan, shows, competition fees and spray tans.. that’s a lot of money for  a nobody like me .. did you know I spend 2 1/2 hrs in the gym 6 days a week? Did you know that right now I am doing 7hrs if cardio a week to shred the fat.. ? That’s why single moms that don’t have parents with money don’t compete Matthew..that is reality. I wasn’t born to rich parents like you. I don’t fit in to the world of competition in Kelowna..I don’t have a rich man or parents to fund me. I am a nobody by Kelowna’s standards.

I cried tonight because of your brother and your family ( again ) I know you think I am a victim.. or maybe I am just human after all..and I am stressed out. I am carb cycling right now.. that means some days no carbs at all!! My body hurts everywhere!!! My knees are killing me! My kids just went to their dad’s for a week of spring break but I have to budget all my money for the move and my competition..and I am eating food that tastes like paper! Do you know how hard it was to find an affordable place that takes kids and a cat ,that wasn’t a dump?? Nope you don’t. You don’t and your family doesn’t know how hard this reality is..but just blame me and others that are not as blessed as you..because I manifested this stuff right? I mean forget about all the hard work I do everyday.. how no one helps me in this city.. how I have worked for everything I have.. all my life! But your snotty friends think I am a gold digger .. HAHAHA right!

You know what.. men are not men anymore. I can’t ask anyone for help.. because I don’t want sleep with men for favors .. imagine that! It’s crazy eh? I am insane!

All those muscle guys at my gym..or any gym in Kelowna.. you would think that I could ask them for help right? You would think so..right? But no.. they are more interested in looking at themselves flexing or hitting on me..or me being wowed by them .. but they wouldn’t ever help me.. I have had a DVD player in the box for 6 months because I not good at that stuff..but I can’t find anyone to help me with it..I have to pay the movers to put my girls bunk bed together..because I am not popular like you or your family or other people like you that are socially hooked up.. if I held a help me move party..no one would show up Matthew..isn’t it a great world.. maybe I am not crazy but the whole world has gone mad.. take Donald Trump for example..

But I deserve to be made fun of and scorned socially for daring to be different..for showing my heart to you..to the world.. for daring to share the beauty of a woman or women in general..because women’s sensuality and sexuality are dirty and evil.. I am dirty and evil and sinful..

Why I am I not ashamed to tell the world that I feel in love with you on first sight? That I loved your soul? Because being a loving human being isn’t crazy or wrong.

You know what.. saying that I need help sometimes isn’t weak either.. you get all the help you need and you are a man.. you are not a woman doing it all on her own.

Did you know that some Kelowna snob asked me if I needed a PHD to read tarot cards for a living..isn’t that silly? But you thought I was making all up too.. I don’t have a gift I am just nuts..according to you. I don’t have a right to write about the Goddesss or call myself a Goddess because I am not under your father’s authority to do so.. I mean it’s not like my womb qualifies me or something..or the fact that I have had three children and lost four pregnancies.. or that I have been sexually assaulted and sexually harassed.. I mean what do I know?? I am obviously faking everything just to get a man like you.. cause if I wanted that I would of met Brett Wilson alone in person.. don’t you think? Or am I just being sarcastic because my heart is hurting and my body is past exhaustion..

And I am tired of people hating on me and doing everything alone..

I guess I should of learned how to be just like everyone else and blend in.. I would be poplar and have lots of friends and a rich boyfriend..

Screw me for being myself and just wanting real love..

Why am I so human?


The Eclipse in Pisces has been a real emotional and spiritual roller coaster ride for me.. as my spiritual guides came back to me with a force. I was reminded of my souls purpose and life path; and I was told to let go of my ego or be dragged along an ugly path by it. You see it wasn’t ever my intent to become or try to become famous by writing my book or putting up my online profile. It was my soul’s intent to deliver a spiritual message to the world for the divine, or cosmic energy. After I put up my profiles and started to self promote my book and message.. I was told by others that I was fame hungry and that I was self branding by going topless in the photography in my book, and on my website. Of course this is how worldly people would view me as they are socially brainwashed by what exists in the media towards how women’s sexuality is promoted. Need I remind my reader that society deems, that a woman who uses her body or sexuality to promote herself is judged as an attention whore or quite simply a whore..and so I was told by many over and over again that my message wasn’t spiritual in nature but selfish and pretentious.

The first dream from my guides was given to me 2 nights before the eclipse .. in the dream my Angels had me put my book ( Message ) in a bottle. I walked with them on a sea of stars as the told me to release my message in a bottle to the cosmos..and so I set it free to float down the river of stars…and then they reminded me ..they said ” The message was for you to let go of. You are an instrument of the divine, yet you will not see worldly fame for this message, the message will reach the right place at the right time.” In the dream I wept; and my tears became one with the stars..and the Angels said ” Let it go Grace, you have lived out your divine purpose by creating what will inspire the next generation of Goddesses.. let it go and let us do the work now. Go on and enjoy the rest of your time on Earth.. go and find peace.” As I began to awaken, I heard them call out to me ” We will send you a sign that you cannot deny as the truth..that will set you free.”

And so in my waking life I waited for a sign.. but they brought another dream to me.. I was with the pop star Madonna in my dream. She wasn’t dressed to be on stage; she looked relaxed like she was on vacation. She wore little make up and she was dressed in loose fitting white clothing..she said ” Grace come and sit will me, I have a message from your Angels for you.” and so I sat with her on the wicker and she played with my hair like a mother does to her daughter..and she said to me ” George Stroumboulopoulos was right Grace.. the message is for the next generation, the world is too fucked up to get it. Do you give women of power permission to promote this message? Grace will you let your ego die?.. now is the time.. the time to throw your ego’s pride onto the fire.. to ashes with it Grace.” I looked at her with tears in my eyes and I said to her ” I only want the message to make it through. I want women to be free from a culture that sexually shames us and own’s us as things for sale.. that blames us for being raped and murdered…that tells us it is our fault for being to open, loving, beautiful and vulnerable..that tells men with this, that it is their right to own our bodies and sexuality.. yes I am ready to release the message to whom ever will do it justice.” and I wept. Then she said to me ” Grace you are to pure for fame. You were never meant to be famous because the world eats people like you up. There are horrible empty souls that walk the entertainment industry that would drain you of that shine. You are like a child.” as she said so I became a child on her lap.. with a round face as she twirled my hair in her hands to make it into a twisted bun shape..and then she held up a mirror..and said ” See your soul self.” and I saw a child in pure white, with a pure round face.. and then I awoke..

And then all day I looked for the sign.. or waited for the sign.. I read my dream book..and looked up the images..and in searching for the meaning of the dream I went to Madonna’s twitter to look at images of her..and that is when I came upon this picture of her and her children..and yes this is exactly how she and I looked in the dream.. I was the child on her lap


I know my reader.. you may think I made this all up. That I went to her twitter and found this image and then made the story up around the image.. but I didn’t. That is the way the spirit or the divine does these things though.. it’s unexplained.. many times there isn’t any real tangible proof; yet the sign is real to me that I was spoken to directly from the other side. Carl Jung believed that souls meet in dreams to speak to one another..This eclipse took place in the North Node of my astrological star map.. Pisces is my North Node or my life path direction.. Pisces is about spiritual sacrifices made to benefit all of creation..and so it is very Christ like..to make a sacrifice with out any personal benefit to the self..

There were many other slight things that happened to me as well that were meant to drive home the message..a friend telling me she wanted ” 15 mins of fame” and my guides telling me.. ” Not everyone is meant to be famous.” and then just today another parent brought up the famous in a conversation with me..and it was deep.. the end of the conversation I knew my guides were speaking through him as some people whom I don’t know, know me because of my online work..and they will come up and tell me. I am not comfortable with fame.. I just want to listen and watch .. to hear the spirit world talk.. and let my ego die..

I like being infamous because as a spiritualist and artist I need to walk unnoticed.

Brett Wilson doesn’t define Gracie Ackerman

W. Brett Wilson said ” Gracie is unwell and  very emotionally unstable.” https://storify.com/CelesteCote/brett-wilson

Brett isn’t a Doctor, not only that he claims to take a stand against the stigma of mental illness but clearly he is passing that stigma onto me socially, to silence me publicly. Like I wrote in my last blog post; I was totally caught off guard. I had a good cry and then began putting it into perspective over the last couple of days. I have come to these conclusions.

Brett is a bully. Brett bullies everyone who criticizes him. I was the one that wouldn’t back down over the Jian Ghomeshi tweet because it was sexist and stupid; because Brett treated me the same way in his gym. I complained the loudest, so it just makes sense that Brett would feel the need to write about me or make a statement publicly, to save face. Yet he still is making the same stupid mistakes because you cannot fake character or class .. Brett is living proof of that.. he just tweeted today about #TheDarkAngel of suicide when he could of pushed me over the edge by making a public statement about my mental health or lack of it. Brett also claims to be anti-guns but then post a pic of himself dressed as a soldier holding a semiautomatic riffle? Wtf? Brett is a walking, talking contradiction .. yet he thinks he can define me as unstable and unwell? Really? Another contradiction.. Brett post a picture of an empty piece of paper saying ” This is what you are entitled too.. think about it.” but then he clearly sees himself as entitled by offering the Calgary Library and open bribe so that the city will push his rich friends Uber through bi-laws by ignoring them. And I am crazy eh? And yet again if you go and read the blog post link that I share at the top you will see, that Brett is clearly singling me out ..being a sexist pig while saying he is standing for sexism? I wonder how much he paid them? As you can see Brett is very entitled and has a dictator like attitude.. and that is exactly why I didn’t want to meet with him before he allowed his manager to bully me out of his gym.. because Brett thinks he is above the common person. By Brett’s actions one can clearly see that he thinks he is above acting with character, class and decency. Brett’s so called philanthropy is a charity for himself..it simply creates the illusion of good will so that he can get away with this other crap.

Brett is weak minded. If you want to put yourself out there as a Canadian celebrity Brett be prepared to be questioned by critical thinkers like myself. You are being watched and you do owe the Canadian public answers if you put yourself out there like a leader of the public. It isn’t against the law, nor is it bullying to question you. But your character is as weak as your chin. I am taking it as a complement that you are thinking of me so much, that you need to bash me personally on mainstream media. I know I am getting to you and it is my hope that eventually I can get through your thick head. You are not above the law because you are wealthy Brett, you are not above just and due process and your rich snotty friends are not either.

I am not one of those women that can be bought and brainwashed by your money or social status..I am proud of that.. I am grateful for my character. I am stronger than you. It is quite clear that I am so much more than you ever will be. I don’t need money and social approval or constant media attention to fill me full of false pride.. my pride comes from doing the right things when no one else is looking..and I did the right thing by not meeting up with you in person, when you invited me too after I sent you my blog link online.. it is quite clear that you are sexist. My intuition was spot on. If that angered you to the point of allowing your manager’s harassment ..and it seems that you encouraged it even more as it became much worse.. image what a pig you would of been if I met alone with you in person? I respect and respected myself enough not to allow that..and as the police say ” Access your risk before engaging ” I think I did a damn fine job of that..given your behaviors online to the general public and to me personally after the fact.

You don’t define me by trying to define me .. you define your ignorance of yourself..

One thing is for sure Brett Wilson.. not a single one of us is perfect or beyond contempt.. the difference between me and you is that I don’t PRETEND to be..and I don’t write books or use public media to attempt to excuse myself from my behaviors.. or paint a pretty picture over a mess.. that’s the difference between authentic and fake.

You put money ahead of your family, you put money ahead of the environment and then you glorify the war machine so that oil stocks will rise.. we all know oil and war equal a healthy economy ..and then you use the vets to self promote your greed.. or maybe I am just over thinking it.. maybe people like you want citizens to stop thinking for themselves so that you can continue to pull the wool over our eyes?

About people not liking me in the professional community.. it doesn’t matter. I am and individual and an intellectual..of course they will not like me. They like to keep things positive only because they like to bury their heads up their asses. People who don’t want to face reality can’t ever change their reality..and so they let media pigs like you create a false reality for them. They don’t like me because I am always giving them a reality check.. and as you know if they know something is wrong ..it means something has to change.. you don’t like change.. you don’t want oil stocks to fall..or your investments in fossil fuels to take a dive.. you are of the same likeness or energy.. it’s denial..

Denial.. Kelowna isn’t the perfect city full of perfect people.. I am not going to pretend it is to make other people comfortable in their conformity.. I am choosing reality..and I intend to help change it for the better from the ground up.. for everyone..not just a few snotty elitist .. like you Brett.

You don’t care about the future of this planet; you don’t care about what you are going to leave behind for your children or my children.. you do know that this January was the warmest January every recorded don’t you? But you say ” The science isn’t conclusive .” I say ” How about some fucking common sense?”

But we all know common sense isn’t common..and stupid people follow rich men with their head’s clearly up their asses.. because the average of average intelligence has fallen dramatically.. because people watch stupid reality shows..instead of tuning into this reality..

I am so glad I don’t allow stupid men to define me Brett.. I really do believe it will be the common sense of a woman that will save the world..if men like you keep it up we are doomed to roast in the environmental hell that we are self creating by our own denial of the reality that we live in..but never mind.. everyone wants be a billionaire in the boys club, that gets to define smart women as crazy..

Wilson dismissed Ackerman’s claims as untrue, claiming “Gracie is unwell — very unstable” and said she has a reputation for harassing people in Kelowna. He declined to provide his side of the story, suggesting “You might wish to reach out to her and get a sense of the warped reality she lives in.”

W.Brett Wilson.. go FUCK YOURSELF


Brett Wilson #IBelieveYou the damage is done


It’s Valentines Day. Up until finding this blog post, by googling ( How does Kelowna Judge Gracie Ackerman ) I was having a fabulous day with my 3 children ages 8, 14 and almost 16. I have been thinking of moving out of Kelowna because of the backlash and bullying from the professional community that I have gotten because of my blog. All I have ever wanted is to be treated fairly and with the same rights, and equality as everyone else.. but as you can see by what I am going to share with you.. money and men like Brett Wilson are believed because they have wealth and power. Because Brett Wilson has wealth that gives him power; he can use his power as an abuse of power over me. He didn’t want to believe me because it was an inconvenient truth. He just couldn’t of be bothered really..as he told me I meant nothing to him. It didn’t matter that I was a paying member of his gym.. it didn’t matter to him that I was being treated unfairly and quite frankly I was being sexually discriminated against by his female manager because my blog was about women’s sexuality..and because I wrote about some of her business associates whom had discriminated against me..and so she was doing them all the favor of blacklisting me to the all mighty King of Kelowna.. W Brett Wilson. Can you get more sexist than that?

As you can see Brett has pulled the classic sexist move of calling a woman crazy whom he wants to discredit so he doesn’t have to face his own inner demons.. all I have ever wanted from Brett Wilson was some decency.. but this has totally floored me. I have been trying to like W. Brett Wilson.. much like Jian Ghomeshi’s women tried to connect with him on an emotional level; because it is difficult to accept cruelty. It is something decent people cannot wrap their minds around.. but the abuse of Brett ( whom as a Canadian celeb has a responsibility to integrity ) the abuse of him telling the world that I am crazy for standing up to him and standing up for my rights towards other so called professional people in Kelowna.. makes me crazy and unstable.. was like a physical blow today..

The fact that Brett is using  #IbelieveYou  campaign that is driven by Association of Alberta Sexual Assault Services is just mind blowing and a part of his mental abuse. It is shocking and disgusting that because Brett has money the people that are trying to protect women are allowing him to abuse me under their name??? Shocking! Of course I am not going to reply under the blog post as my comment maybe moderated and taken out of context.

Brett Wilson has tried to have my blog taken down by threatening lawyers ..etc.. he obviously paid Twitter or used his status to have me taken off twitter..as it seems he cannot admit that he was wrong. It is in his power to abuse me.. to attempt to silence me by telling the world I am crazy, rather than admit that he didn’t protect me as a member in his gym from his abusive staff, he didn’t protect me as a person or as woman..and further more he is continuing to emotionally abuse me.

After I found this I broke down crying. At first I was in shock. It felt like I was physically hit ..and then I started to weep. When my oldest daughter came into my room to find me, I was in full sobs.. she wanted to know ” Mom why are you crying.. what happened?” she was afraid, because once the flood gates opened I couldn’t stop sobbing .. I said ” I don’t want to tell you, I don’t want you to hate me like everyone else in Kelowna hates me.. I don’t want you to think your mother is crazy and ruining your life.”  ( yes it cut me deeply and that is why I am moving out of Kelowna ) I eventually calmed down enough to tell my daughter and show her the blog post.. Brett’s written worlds calling me unstable for standing up for myself.. even my 14 year old and almost 16 year old daughters could see it as emotional abuse and bullying.. I guess that is why Brett has bullies working for him..

My daughters told me ” Don’t write about that it made you cry like this mom.. don’t let them know it made you want to move and feel hopeless.. because they will just be even meaner.” but I said to them ” If I don’t write about my true feelings then other people will be afraid to show their true feelings.. and it’s ok to be hurt and sad. It’s not ok that the world works this way and that it is unfair that people with money and status ( most of them men ) can use it to abuse and power trip over other people they judge as less than them. I have to write about this, because it has to stop.”

But my heart was totally broken today. I still feel like I have a bleeding wound in the center of my heart.. but at least I feel.. I have feelings..and if standing up for myself makes me crazy to the general pubic.. well we all know the world is crazy place full of injustices and unfairness.. and sadly .. so very sadly it is full of men who get power trips from abusing women.. especially those who are open.. it’s all so sad.

But if there is anyone you should feel sorry for it is him.. because he is the one that refuses to open his heart and do the right thing.

The link to the post https://storify.com/CelesteCote/brett-wilson

  1. This isn’t the first time Wilson has been accused of sexism.In April, blogger and author Gracie Ackerman penned some lengthy diatribes in which she alleged that, despite being a longtime paying member of Wilson’s gym, she’d been refused full access due to content on her blog that she considers an expression of her sexuality and femininity.
  2. “I was told by his female manager that I was a threat to a good man’s reputation due to the nature of my art and writing.. due to the topless images of me on my website; so they didn’t want me smearing Brett’s great rep..”
  3. Ackerman went so far as to accuse Wilson of victim-shaming—the very opposite of what the#IBelieveYou campaign hopes to accomplish.

  4. “I had every right to be treated with the same respect as others who asked to have photography in your gym.. and who workout in your gym.. I had every right to be treated with common, due respect regardless of who or what I wrote about on my website [...] and then you had the [expletive] nerve, and the cruelty to say to me that I said I was going to go topless in the gym..and then you turned ” VICTIM SHAMING” onto me by saying I was the one harassing Darcia and you..by having the courage to come to you, to address their harassment of me..”
  5. Thumbnail for W.Brett Wilson.. my Devil | The GoddessW.Brett Wilson.. my Devil | The Goddess

    I saw your garden party on your page; I am sure you used it to try to manipulate the public to clean up any damage I may have done to your public image writing about what you and your staff did to me at the gym.
  6. Wilson dismissed Ackerman’s claims as untrue, claiming “Gracie is unwell — very unstable” and said she has a reputation for harassing people in Kelowna. He declined to provide his side of the story, suggesting “You might wish to reach out to her and get a sense of the warped reality she lives in.”
  7. (Ackerman has not yet been reached for comment. This story will be updated if and when a response is received.)

Goddess of Love



It’s Valentines weekend. It is very easy to get caught up in all the fuss. Valentines Day is supposed to be a day of love or a day for lovers; but actually it is just a great day for retail. Lovers should share their love everyday, and single people should love and value themselves as singular people everyday..  I think it is important to keep grounded and real during the hype.. if you are in a relationship or not, because Valentines Day can make people feel bitter and resentful, jealous and stressed; rather than loved and grateful. It is  important to stay in the moment and to take stock of what is truly valuable and meaningful.. like the simple things..as love is beautiful simplicity .. it’s human’s that make love complicated.

As a woman it is very important to value and love yourself first before ever getting involved with any one romantically. Why go on a date with someone who isn’t worthy of you just to go on a date for Valentines Day or any other day for that matter? I know so many single women giving their time and energy away to men who don’t deserve it.. the players, cheaters and the men that don’t actually want to commit ..the game players.. a woman who is in her Inner Goddess or Queen, Diva etc .. wouldn’t and will not put herself in that position. Using myself as an example; I didn’t haunt dating sites or pursue men.. because what is meant to be will be.. instead I focused my attention and energy on myself and my kids.. I focused on being grateful for the beauty that I have already in my life.. and like a true Goddess I create and am creating a beautiful life all around me.

To become or come in contact with your Inner Goddess.. is to simply be more and more of yourself everyday.. to love and honor yourself, spiritually and physically.. to express your sexuality on your own terms.. whatever that may be to you. To become a Goddess is to be authentic, real, raw, brave and unique. A Goddess is iconic.. not like what the fashion or media world would like us to mimic.. because Goddesses come in all shapes and sizes..all races and ages..as she is timeless and infinite.. if a woman tells you that you must behave, look or act like what she thinks a Goddess is; don’t follow her because she is speaking from ego and conceit, not from the Divine.. because SHE  ( The Goddess ) wants you to be you.. the Great Goddess..the MOTHER of all Creation whats you to be as she birthed you..because you were born that way! You were born to be you!

There are many misconceptions as to why I do this.. many men think that I express my sexuality and use my image to get male attention and many women think I do it for the same reasons. A Goddess expresses her sexuality for herself.. that is what makes her a Goddess.. she doesn’t pretend or become anything for anyone else and she doesn’t give a fuck about what other people think about her being herself. A woman’s sexuality is as much apart of her as is her personality or name.. she is what she is..and a Goddess is whole unto herself… and yes this is intoxicating and powerful..and frightening to many people..because it is rare.. society teaches both men and women how to behave..and women are taught to become what men judge as sexually pleasing as men are taught to become what is sexually pleasing by mainstream media.. and so then we wonder why women and men cannot connect intimately or why both men and women are so confused in relationships. It is because we can only pretend for so long..and then the mask falls off .. when a woman or man is authentic and unique it is powerful and potent.. it is awe .. he becomes The Divine Masculine and she The Divine Feminine.. when both a man and a woman carrying their Inner God and Goddess come together the Earth moves.. And so I am waiting for my God.. he is simply a man that takes no shit..and is himself.. he doesn’t give a shit what you think.. he is a man that cherishes and protects women.. he hasn’t any need to compete or control.

As a Goddess I love and cherish myself the way I want to be loved and cherished by a man. Giving myself this type of photography makes me feel sensual and beautiful. Giving myself roses on Valentines Day is my way of telling myself that I am worthy of love..I am worthy of a great and powerful love..and that love already lives inside of me..because I am me.

It is my hope that this blog post inspires you to be uniquely you.. I hope you find away to pamper yourself and cherish yourself.. and when that special person comes along may you both pamper and cherish each other

Happy Valentines Day



Nikki Csek Kelownanow.com and Gracie Ackerman’s Feature

Nikki told me today that she will never feature me in KelownaNow because she picks people that promote Kelowna in only a positive light. I had no idea who she was personally but since our short and snippy conversation over the phone this morning I have since researched her online. She is a middle aged woman with short, cropped bleached blond hair. She is part of Kelowna Women in Business; whom in the past refused to answer my emails and ignored me. She retweets Michael Lavigne of Open For Change who also refused to allow me to network with him.. she is a part of the Kelowna Chamber of Commerce .. she is considered a big wig or one of Kelowna’s elitists. If I had known who she was, and that she was the founder of KelownaNow; I wouldn’t of bothered to attempt to even speak to her on the phone. She talked down to me; she was highly condescending..full of her power and superiority. She then offered to meet with me personally. I have been down that road before with the likes of Darcia Fenton the manager of W Brett Wilson’s gym ( I am sure they are associates or even friends ) so I know not to put myself in that situation. It will lead to further patronizing or rather I will just become an ego feed. I respect and love myself..so I am not ever going to put myself in a forewarned situation like that again..and so I refused to meet with her. Why would I?

What I found absolutely disgusting was that she chose to feature Brett Godin of Climax Conditioning but she refused to allow me the same opportunity.. please go and read my last dated blog post for my personal true story about Brett. But it really goes to show you it’s not what you know or how good of a person you actually are in Kelowna but who you know and who’s ass you are willing to kiss. Yet it is going to be a perfect segue or shift into a new idea, I have for addressing this. I am not going to get angry and allow Nikki or the rest of Kelowna’s upper crust, elitist society to drive me crazy with anger as they usually do. I have learned this is exactly what they want; because it gives them an excuse to treat me like a second class citizen. I am going to use Brett Godin as an example of the sexist double standards. You see it is perfectly ok for a young man to express his sexuality in his photography and it is ok for him to use the world CLIMAX for his website.. while I have been socially shunned by Kelowna society for using my sexuality in my photography and by using the name SEX AS SACRED for my website. I haven’t lied or cheated. I tell the truth of my story by writing it on my blog, yet I am judged as negative and not worthy of being promoted by Kelowna’s networking community.. yet Brett has lied and cheated, but has been promoted by them.. and hence the double standards. Hence sexism displayed and acted out by a woman towards another woman.

Now ( pun intended..as Brett loves to promote himself for reading The Power of Now..and of course for KelownaNOW ) Now I am going to write for myself what they refuse to write for me..and that is my own FEATURE done in their typical format..

What is your name?

Gracie Ackerman

What do you always find yourself saying?

“Were there is a will there is away.” Henry Ford

If you could spend one whole day with anyone in the world who is currently alive, who would you select and why?

Gloria Steinem because I read her books in College. It was her voice that groomed me as a feminist and activist towards women’s rights and freedoms. Gloria taught me about basic human rights. Gloria taught me that our rights must constantly be defended because there are people in powerful positions that loose sight of equality and justice due to becoming drunk with power.. Gloria taught me that my body belongs to me not to society, religion or Government.

If you were to receive any existing public award, what award would you like to win?

I know that if I was to win an award for my work on women’s rights, equality and freeing women from sexual shame, that award would belong to all women. What I do isn’t just for me. What I do is for all women now and far into the future. If I was to win an award all women would win.

If you could spend a day with any historical figure, who would you choose and why?

Albert Einstein because he was the brilliant, genius underdog. He taught us that the school systems way for testing and defining intelligence and genius was flawed. His mind was different and because of that he taught the world to think differently. I love Albert’s simplicity. In astrology Albert and I have the same Gemini Moon..it’s the mark of genius and child like wonder. I am like him, I am a child and with that passionate curiosity I create like a mad scientist.

Who inspires you?

People who have risen from little or nothing to greatness by their own efforts, talents, passions and hard work.. like Richard Brandson.. I love eccentrics like David Bowie.

What are three things on your bucket list

I want to reach higher and higher states of enlightenment and I want to take everyone with me for the ride.

Being as authentic as possible. This means telling the truth no matter how negative or positive it is.

My life is a spiritual path.. I intend to follow it till my last breath. I am in this word but I am not of it.

If you could foresee a single day of your future in its entirety, what date would you select

The day I die.. because I know I will have lived my life’s purpose..and that is to help create a more just and compassionate world.

What are you passionate about?

LOVE.. love is all we need


What has been your favourite day of your life, up to this point?

I believe in reincarnation or transfer of energy.. and so I don’t see life in days and numbers because everything is infinite .. like my Albert E says ” Think in terms of energy.”

What has been your proudest accomplishment?

My children

What is the name of your business/organization?

My book is titled ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) you can find it on Amazon.ca my website and blog www.sexassacred.com. I would love to start an organization that helps encourages and empowers women towards embracing their sexuality without shame and loving their bodies in a natural and healthy way.

What is your mission?

I believe my mission began many lifetimes ago. I believe that I am a soul that has incarnated over and over again through time to build a solid foundation for this lifetime. Many women throughout history have been murdered, stoned to death and tortured for what I am doing now. Many women world wide are still being targeted for simply being women. It is my mission to end the violence and control put upon women by a Patriarchal Society. World wide we live in a society that shames women for their blood and births, that shames women’s bodies, but glorifies the male sex, it is my mission to create equality and justice. I write about the injustices placed upon me personally because my story is every woman’s story. If I don’t have the courage to rock the boat and make people uncomfortable in first world country like Canada.. well then how will women in countries like India be able to become free of acid burnings, and gang rapes? My greatest adversity in Kelowna is standing up to people like you who don’t really want to change the world but simply wish to remain comfortable within your own. My mission is a spiritual mission. Many would think it selfless.. but it isn’t. I have three children and I wish to see them grow up in a world that is truly civil and just.

If you could achieve one thing within your field, what would it be?

As an artist and freedom writer.. my main goal is to create freedom for other artist and writers to feel free enough to create outside of the box of normal ..normal is boring.

Where do you want your business/organization to be in five years?

Like I said I don’t think in terms of years.. I think infinitely ..  I am hoping that my book and message will be a ripple through time.. that by emptying myself for the divine, the message will make a ding in the Universe.. I suppose this is much more than just a business.

How does your business/organization impact the community?

I think that is pretty clear, taking the shame off women and their bodies creates freedom, be teaching men that they don’t have a right to women’s body because of the way she is dressed or because the dogma of religion preaches so.. violence and sexual crimes against women will decrease dramatically. How do you think it will impact business.. imagine a woman going to work dress as she pleases..that’s freedom..not having to worry about a man assuming he has a right to touch you and harass you because you are wearing red lipstick.. imagine peace and harmony.

If you were trapped in an elevator with several wealthy investors from any field, which field would you want them to be experts in? What would say to them/talk about?

I wouldn’t bother talking to them. I learned from W Brett Wilson that men don’t want to invest in women’s rights and sexual freedom. The big investors care only about what will be a sure sale now..and Brett Wilson invests in men’s sports, oil, clothing and accessories .. there are entire industries based on keeping women down and and using their bodies and breast to sell products..big investors see my movement as a threat. Imagine if women actually loved their bodies? How could they sell women back to themselves if we loved ourselves the way we are?

If I could change one thing about Kelowna, it would be:

People like you Nikki.. people who think that only a select few citizens of Kelowna are worthy of promotion or opportunity. If I could change one thing I would change the snottiness and clickiness of Kelowna. Everyone here wants to be just like everyone else, many go on and on about authenticity to sell themselves but they are not authentic or individuals let alone intellectuals.

What do you think makes Kelowna great?

The landscape..the nature



Brett Godin; Failure2Coach

I wasn’t going to write about this because I wanted to let sleeping dogs lie; but my tires have been punctured 3x over the last couple of weeks. Just this Friday while driving my kids to school I noticed I had trouble steering and stopping my car; when I dropped the kids off I looked at the back tires to see the drivers side totally flat and the other back tire half deflated. I promptly took my car to the tire shop were they told me that one tire had, had a steel rod driven through it and the other had been punctured by nails. As they put one of the nails in my hand they told be, that because of the sealant in the tires it takes them 24hrs to go totally flat. And so it seems that someone has been sabotaging my car. As it is only unattended from view at the back of the gym parking lot.. I am guessing it could be revenge by Brett and his girlfriend Kaylie.. I am hoping that by writing my true story I can make them stop targeting me; if they are doing this.. Authorities at the gym have been notified and they will be checking security camera footage.. but you decide ..

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Brett was working at the gym that I go to; he came to me dressed in their uniform to ask me to hire him to train me for women’s figure competition.. he then had one of his female clients tell me how great he was… He offered me his family rate of only $600 because he admired my laser focus in my workouts..and so I hired him. I payed him cash. He blew me off when I asked for a written statement of payment..and then the next day at the gym I found out that the payment was under the table..that he was training me under the umbrella of the gym but not as an employee of the gym..and so I was put into the compromising position of being told not to mention it within the gym. I then found out that he wasn’t going to train me hands on in the gym, but that I was supposed to follow his emailed workouts and learn them myself by using YouTube.. I was shocked.

But he also compromised me by getting me involved in his personal life. The next day he came to me in the gym while I was warming up on the spin bike to show me pictures of his girlfriend on his phone.. it was creepy the way he did it and I didn’t understand why he felt he had to? Then the next day his girlfriend told me that she was taking a break from him. It made me feel like she broke up with him because he started to train me.. it was all in the looks and body language. The manipulations made me feel guilty again..as if I was suspect for wanting to seduce him? Once again I was made to feel guilty for nothing. But the next day they were back together again and that is when Kaylie decided she was going to train for competition just like me..and have Brett as her trainer just like me..and that is when she started to get really weird .. if I wanted to hear it or not she would find me in the change room to tell me all about her and Brett..

After a couple of weeks of this Kaylie got sick with a cold; she wasn’t at the gym for a few days and it gave me time to clear my head of her constant chatter, and to see that Brett and Kaylie had dragged me into their individual toxic nature and into their toxic relationship. I had no intention of being thrust into some twisted lovers drama..and so I text message Brett with my concerns.. he promptly gave his phone to Kaylie to text message me back on. I then asked for my money back. Brett text messaged me back using his charm and manipulations to calm me down saying he would come and talk to me at the gym the  next day. He was late by over an hour, when he did come into the gym I had to hunt him down on the treadmill to get him to talk to me. He didn’t say he was sorry for being unprofessional. Instead he told me with much dramatic flare that he had broke up with her. ( Why he thought I would care I don’t know? I can only guess that he liked the power trip or maybe he was testing me to see if I was into him sexually?) of course things just got worse from there. He kept ignoring me on a professional level. I had to yell across the gym to him about my food allergies. Once when I went into the parking lot he was parked beside my car talking loudly on his speaker phone..it was the perfect time for us to address things professionally and get things cleared up..but he ignored me like the egomaniac that he is..only to text me ” Have a great day.” my thoughts were ” Fuck you hotshot!”

Then he posted online that they were back together again.. my thoughts were ” Back on the Crazy Train.. I am getting off.” And so I fired him. Then the next day Kaylie began to harass me in the change room by demanding that I talk to her. I told her to leave me alone but she kept yelling at me.. When I left the change room I saw Brett sitting on a massage chair. I told him what Kaylie had done..he purposefully attempted to ignore me by texting on his phone and putting on his earphones .. I lifted them off his head and demanded my money back..he then accused me of physical assault.. like a total coward..he had his girlfriend go into the gym change room to do the dirty work for him..

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That is when I got the management of the gym involved..but many of them were his friends, I felt it was a boy’s club and that they were covering for him .. I sent out emails to the management within the gym and Brett denied everything and then told me by email that if I contacted him he would take legal action against me.. he then text messaged me a couple of days later trying to strike a deal. He said he would give me back $400 if I signed a agreement written by him that I wouldn’t write about this on my blog. I refused to be silenced and bullied by him. I then told him off via text and told him what I thought of Kaylie’s bullshit. Then Brett called the Kelowna RCMP showing them the text messages out of context and telling them a bullshit story..he was able to have a female constable call me and accuse me of harassing him. I yelled at her and told her she was being used by him to harass me out of context. I told her it is her job to hear both sides of the story before accusing someone of criminal activity. Then I called her back and yelled at her some more trying to tell her my side of the story. I had to yell at her because she kept interrupting me and talking to me like I was shit.. The phone call from the RCMP was mind blowing and left me feeling very angry, sad, hopeless and bullied. I felt as if there was no justice or fairness in the world and that thieves, and cheaters would always get a head in the world.

Then things got worse at the gym, because Brett and Kaylie felt the had the upper hand..and so they started to power trip. They both don’t have to come to the gym the same time I do. They don’t have the adult responsibilities I do.. yet Brett started to train Kaylie in the gym as loudly as possible .. other members who knew what was going on would ask me ” It must really piss you off that they are doing this?” I told them I knew they were just playing immature head games. But then Kaylie started to spread rumors in the gym. She started to ” hold court” in the change room..she would have all the women around her and then when I would walk in they would all fall silent and act strange.. when I would say something everyone would act uncomfortable..some of the women started to tell me what she was saying ” I had a crush on her man.” The worst was ” You wanted to give him a blowjob in the back room and when he refused to let you, you smacked him in the face and fired him.”At first I laughed but of course it was psychological warfare.. My celiac disease was acting up as all stress goes to my stomach ..and my nerve damage was acting up too.. I was a ball of nerves around my kids at home..it was starting to affect my home life as bullying often does..

Then one day his client that helped seduce me into hiring him asked me ” Are you going to loose it and blow up on them?” then it became quite clear that they were also gas-lighting me into looking like I was the problem; to have me thrown out of the gym.. I said to her ” No. I don’t respond like that, I go to the authorities and let them deal with it in a mature and professional manner.” I had already contacted the heads of this corporate gym. They moved fast when I showed them proof through a time line of emails that I had by Brett; that proved he was working for them when he unethically solicited to me under their professional umbrella..and so within a few days some heads showed up at the gym.. they literally had management sweeping floors..it was amazing!

One of the head women talked to me in the change room ..she let me know I was safe. She let me know they took everything very seriously and that they were taking care of the problem.. but after my shower when she wasn’t in the room..as I was telling the woman in the shower next to me what had happened ..because she over heard the conversation.. Kaylie ( whom I hadn’t realized was in the change room ) rudely barged into our conversation accusing me of slandering Brett’s name. I tried to talk sense to her but she was irrational, yelling and calling me names. I am worried that she is actually insane.

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I was then ready to leave the gym. I emailed the heads and told them so..and then the next night Kaylie stalked my Facebook and shared my post calling me the same names she called me in person. Yes I had written about her on my blog to vent..but I hadn’t used her first name and on the Facebook post I hadn’t used her full name..so no one knew who she was, but by sharing my post she outed herself. It was pure harassment. I called the RCMP asking them to contact Brett and Kaylie to tell them to stop all contact. But the officer started to give me the run a-round saying ” We don’t do that.” I said to him ” Brett had the police call me and harass me under false information; I am telling you I have proof and that I have the corporate heads of this gym involved and you are telling me that you will not give me the same rights as him..? Is it because he is a man?” and that is when the officer finally did his fricken job..but it was disgusting!

Afterwards I emailed the heads of the gym to let them know the RCMP had done their job..the head management asked me to stay with their gym.. feeling safe I accepted.

And so now..I have learned from some of the staff that they were all given an email saying that Brett wasn’t ever allowed in the gym again..and now someone is slashing my tires.. Having a steal rod put into your tire isn’t an accident..having both tires punctured at the same time is quite suspect isn’t it?

The most disgusting thing is that; through the back hatch you can see my 8 yo son’s blue scooter and helmet… whoever is doing this needs to stop.. you are sick.

I hope by writing this; it offers my kids and I some protection by outing the perps.

The gym refunded the full $600.. Brett Godin is pretending nothing happened.

I hope I never see him or Kaylie again.

I didn’t name the gym in this because they deserve to remain anonymous because they did the right thing; and I wish to protect their professional name the same as they did their best to protect me.