I am not racist

 

Following Canandian politics I find myself longing for simpler times. It seems to me that Canadian politicians are using race and religion to divide the nation rather than to bring Canadians together. Multiculturalism is the new buzz word while the Canada that I know and love has always been multicultural. Let me explain. I was born in Vancouver Canada, in the spring of 1970. My father was an American that came to Canada as a Vietnam draft dodger. He was Native American/Dutch. He met my mother who was English/Irish decent, but a 3rd generation Canadian. They were poor so we grew up poor. My mother was mentally ill and my my father beat her often. I didn’t know this so called white entitement because I didn’t get any of it. I was what would be called white trash and a hodgepodge of white trash given my Native American Heritage and white mix. I never knew special treatment, but I did see it given to other kids at school who’s parents had money. I remember in grade 5, when I was living in Langely BC; my male grade 5 teacher took the class to the Parliament buildings in Victoria BC. I loved politics and wanted to go with the favored rich kids to watch the house debating but my teacher was only allowed to bring in 5 kids. He choose all the kids from wealthy parents and when I complained because I knew I was smarter than them, he said to me ” Gracie they have a chance at being able to do this as adults because of thier upbringing. You do not and so thats why I chose them.” my entire life has pretty much been set by that tone. Everything I have in my life has been due to hardwork, struggle and saving every penny. I guess I could of had sugar daddies but my self respect and diginity could of never allowed me. Something in my spirit just will not let me sell out.

Anyways, I grew up in Langely and Surrey BC Canada until I was 13. I really related to Sesame Street and of course grew up on it; my neighbourhood was very multicultural and at the time, as far as I remember the government wasn’t forcing other religions or scaring people into thinking every other culture and race was out to get them. I had Greek families, Iranian, Scottish, Italian, African American, mixed race families and East Indian. Through my Grandfather I also had Native American friends and Families. It just never occured to me to be racist or to be afraid of other races. Maybe it was because the families I knew from other cultures, practiced their homeland’s culture and were also very grateful to be in Canada, to be apart of Canadian culture. I remember my Greek friends dad telling me how much he dreamed of Canada and it’s culture before he came to Canada. Yet we see our government today expressing that Canada has no real culture of it’s own so we need to adapt to outside cultures. The reality is that Canadian culture is both multicultural and Canadiana. Obviously the government has stopped working for the people as it is pitting the people against eachother rather than celibrating our diffences and similarities towards coexisting. The government and the media working for the government seems to have an agenda over the people not for the people. And the government is working to place religion into laws to further divide the peole to control the people. I am not saying racism doesn’t exist; of course it does as does privilege but privilege knows no race or colour more than it runs by personal wealth and social status, or so it seems by my personal experiences.

The picture in this post was taken by my parents at my 6th birthday party. The little girl with me was a freshly immigrated East Indian Sikh; her dad wore the big turan so thats how I know now. As a kid I didn’t know or care. Her name was Sandeep but she let me call her Sandy for short. We met on the playground; the first day of grade one. She didn’t speak any english yet; she was very tall and big for her age so the kids had started to bully her. She came running around the side of the school.. running from the kids. I saw her by the big tree, she had snot running down her face, her face was stained with dirt and tears. When she got closer I could see she had a bloody nose and a bleeding lip. Just than a group of kids came around the corner to pelt her with pinecones and rocks. My big sister was with me as I sprang to action and blocked her with my body so they would stop, they hit me too; but my sister ran to get a teacher. We both got beat up pretty bad before the teacher came. The next thing I remember I was waiting with her in the office for our parents to arrive. He mother and father cryed when they saw her. They cupped her face and kissed all the bruises. When my mom came they thanked her and me. I was told I was their second daughter. Turned out they lived just down the street. Our mothers became friends and we played at eachother’s homes. They were very poor too. My mom showed her mother all the best places to shop and where all the best playgrounds were.

I remember one thing all the mothers of all the nationalities had in common down our road and in our neighbourhood; that was domestic violence. That is one thing that hasn’t changed since the 1970s. It really doesn’t matter what race, culture, wealth or social status women and their children come from .. their common denominator is domestic and sexual violence towards women and girls. Maybe if the Canadian government cut the shit; and stopped with the fake feminism; fake because it gives religion power over women in the name of diveristy.. just than, maybe we would see some progress for all of humanity..

So how do I end this post? How do I wrap it up from here? I guess the only thing that is going to save the people from the government ruling over the people by dividing the people, is for the people to see what we all do have in common vs what divides us. If you are a true Canadian or if you want to be a true Canadian than you must want and fight for everyone equally and we have to stop putting political and religious ideologies ahead of humanity. After all the religion, and gender separation we all bleed red and cry wet tears.. unlike the governments crocodile tears. Lets not be divided by rhetoric that serves the true privileged .. the elite.

#METOO how Celeste Cote helped W.Brett Wilson oppress me

Celeste Cote’s blog post about Brett allowing me to be sexually harassed in his gym

more of her blog. Click to enlarge

 

I honestly didn’t want to adress this; it was too painful for me to confront this woman; but my female and male followers just kept telling me to be brave; ” Just be brave one last time Gracie.” ” Gracie she obviously wrote this to excuse Brett of his behaviors and to try to make you look crazy.” one person wrote to me ” Why would another woman do this to another woman. On her profiles she claims to be about social justice? Do you think she works for CBC, cause they wanted to relaunch Jian Ghomeshi and they made all the women he preyed on look crazy too?” ” Why wouldn’t Brett Wilson just help you with his manager? Why did he hate you and your work so much? Does Brett Wilson hate women or did he just have it out for you? I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to help you with the good work you do?”

I can’t answer these questions. I am sorry I just don’t know? I don’t know why he couldn’t of just stepped in and told his gym manager to stop harassing me for her friend Joel Young whom I wrote about sexually harasing me. She was mad at me for standing up for myself and refused to believe me even though she wasn’t there  at our meeting or during the sexual harassment. I can only guess that she did it to climb the social lader herself at my expense. I learned that writing about women’s sexuality and publishing nude photos of myself as artistic expression with my writing on the subject of women’s sexual empowerment, made me a target for bullying and abuse for daring to break out of social norms. I don’t know why Brett Wilson saw me as a threat to his reputation. I don’t know what I triggered in him to make him lash out at me and to use other women in professional positions to attempt to discredit me and to destroy me publically with false aligations. I don’t know how I could possibly destroy his reputation even if I did have topless photography in his gym. All though I never asked to have topless photography in his gym only to have the same rights and privileges as other long term paying memebers.

Today, after much prompting from my followeres I did message Celeste on facebook to find that 2 years ago she had messaged me but it had not come up on my notifications. So she had written a libellious post on me, without contacting me for permission and then sent me the link to see what I had to say about it. Her bio says she is a professional and that she seeks real journalism but how is that acting in anyway professional. She was threatening and bullying. I will include my text messages to her. She denied wanting to hurt me but her actions speak otherwise. She is obviously not wanting me to take legal action against her so she is attempting to excuse her behavior just like she tired to excuse Brett’s public sexism in the post by trying to paint me as crazy and fucked up.

What is truly fucked up is that in this day and age; I as a woman am not free towards freedom of expression without being bullied, and treated without discrimination. It is absolutly fucking disgusting that we have people in the public eye posting about social justice while being total bigots for the wealthy and powerful. FUCK YOU!!!

But I will not stop fighting for women and for myself. I will not let these loosers power over me or excuse themselves of their ignorance and bigotry.

I am a real artist and a real writer that writes and expresses for the real honest to god freedom and justice for all.

Those fuckers though!

Islamophobia M103 – How religious freedom goes against equal rights and women’s rights

 

 

” Women are treated more equally in some countries that are atheistic or where governments are strictly separated from religion” ~ Jimmy Carter

The three of the biggest world religions, the Abrahamic religions  ( Judaism, Christianity and Islam ) preach of a male god that has given the power to men over women. By these preachings women have become second class citizens the world over. In these teachings it is believed that women are the cause of the original sin, this sin inflicted onto Adam by Eve’s seduction or fall to temptation. And so we see the root of the evil placed onto women, their bodies and their sexuality. Women are constantly being judged by man for his lack of selfcontrol. Religion is and has been a catalyst towards creating culture and culture towards creating traditions. We are a world that traditionally abuses women and girls in the name of religious freedom.

HOW CAN RELIGION BE A HUMAN RIGHT WHEN IT GOES AGAIST HUMAN RIGHTS?

Religious scipture, dogmas, and ideologies go against the human rights towards sexual freedom for mainly women and gays

The Canadian bill M103; if it becomes a law or if it is even entertained as religious bigotry towards questioning religion will set a tradition, a culture, a precedence towards the merger of Govenment and religion and by that the death of freedom of expression. IF RELIGION IS NOT DEBATED TOWARDS REFORMING IT ,  HUMAN RIGHTS WILL BE OBLITERATED FOR RELIGIOUS FREEDOM. If we deny sexual freedom by allowing sexual repression into the government than women’s rights will be turned back 200 years.

Women and men newly immigrated from countries that are dominated by religious extremism will more than likely find it very difficult to let go of their cultural and religious practices based on these religious fundamentalisms.

But my point is this if religion teaches men that they are above women, and religions create culture and traditions that are then settled into a culure to polute it with inequalites;  how then can it be put into to feminism as feminism is about women’s equality?

The answer is; it cannot. Religion without proper reformation and mediation cannot bring us towards becoming a modern civilization. We will keep waring, we will keep repressing each other in the name of the god and the dogma of that god. We will never come to true diversity, we will never experience true social justice, and we will never become a global community that is fair and just under the umbrella of these patriachal religions, that places government and spiritual control in the hands of men by placing women under men.

Right now the Liberal Government is pushing globalization and global citizenship or a world government by the union of councils like The Unitied Nations. The elite did this with the use of a patriachal religions back in 325 AD;  Constantine The Great united the Roman Empire by uniting religions but he gained control over his empire by denying female gods and placing male gods over the people; by placing sexual shame onto women; over half of society, he used men in his empire to oppress women for him. By the oppression of women he gave men a spureriority to repress the women of the empire for him. By repressing and abusing their own women they were actually abusing themselves by the false hierchy over them becoming more and more elite above them by the subterfuge. By the use of religion over the masses the worlds oldest elitist families have been steadily gaining over the average citizen. That is why the bigotry and hate in religion has not been reformed to this date as it is the deceit, deception, guile and cunning from the upper class to keep the lower classes lower by keeping the religious wars going; they steal and cheat from the common people.

IF A ONE WORLD GOVERNMENT AND A ONE WORLD RELIGION WERE TO FORM TODAY UNDER GLOBALIZATIN AND GLOBAL CITIZENSHIP, WOMEN’S RIGHTS WOULD BE DESTROYED BY RELIGION

To this day we are seeing multicultulism being the term used towards breaking down borders and reforming governments towards becoming a one world governmen through the UN to unite the world under one umbrella for the elites to take total control of the masses. We know from history that absolute power corrupts absolutly. With religion still in the bronze age; humanity will revert back towards more barbarism in the name of mass conformity.

In order for true democracy to take up root we must root out the darkness within the scriputres that are deep within all the worlds cultures and deep within us as individuals. We must be able to speak our truths and name our fears so that we can bring humanity and ourselves personally out of the darkness.

 

A Single Mother’s Guide To Empowerment

 

There are many women online and in the world of media that profess to be about women’s empowerment or to be life coaches; there are women with PHDs and other certifications whom have their blogs and books professionally editited, and so you may think them to be more qualified than me towards giving you advice and leadership. My qualifications are life skills built upon real life experiences. The person whom you should want to lead you or to give you qualified advice is the person or woman that is walking her talk. I am not overtly wealthy, I am not entitled as I have not and was not born to a life of privilege. I come from a very poor family and my father was very abusive and sexist. My mother committed suicide when I was 13 due to her mental illness and I put myself into the Canadian fostercare system in my teens. I ended up living on my own when I was 17 to then put myself through college with student loans. Due to my abusive upbringing I ended up in a seven year relationship with a physically abusive alcholic. I left him to finish my education in business college to then meet and marry my now ex husband who was emotionally and financially abusive. I have no extended family, and so have had to carry the responsiblity of being a single mother of three on my own. I went onto become a published author of the book { The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine } and to create my own blog and website www.sexassacred.com

I have been through intense stuggles and trials in my life. I have been physically and sexually abused. I have been plunged into suicial thoughts. I have risen again and again from great hoplessness towards achieving many goals and dreams. My greatest of all dreams having yet to be realized; is to be given a world wide voice towards women’s rights, equality and empowerment. Upon writing my book about women’s sexual empowerment I have had to to stand against much sexual discrimination by shining a light on the sexual shame placed upon women by society. I still continue to fight this daily with all women who wish to stand against it and push back against conformity and sexual repression.

I have primary guardianship of my children and so that means they are in my care 90 percent of the time; so I am a full time single mother who is in the trenches of parenthood and womanhood with you.

I am writing this in point form because I am a busy mom and I like to be able to skim information when my time is limited.

 

 

1. Find your strength in forgiveness

Working on forgiveness and forgiving is the key towards finding innner peace and balance. My key to forgiving my ex husband was understanding his own father wound as to why he was unable to stay with us as a family unit, and as to why he had an affair when he found out I was having a boy with our third child. It was because he saw his son in himself and his wound that he didn’t want to face in his son. Understanding that no one is perfect and that we are all wounded helps to heal wounds into scars.  Many people will hurt us because they are hurt and not conscious enough to be able to heal themselves so they hurt others. Understanding will bring you to forgiveness and forgiviness will being you to inner balance. Balance is the key to strength.

2. Be responsible and take responsibility

When we are honest with ourself and make a point of becoming conscious towards our own weaknesses we can make them into our strengths or at least strengthen our weaknesses. Take responsiblity as to your part in the marriage or relationship ending. For example; I didn’t draw proper boundaries at the begining of my marriage and so I allowed him to disrespect me and allowed my independance to be taken from me as I gave it away.

3. Budget 

Part of taking responsibility is to take responsiblity for your money and spending habits. Write down your bottom line and then subtract your bills and abstract spending, make a budget from there. Write down daily what you have spent and on what to keep yourself honest. A part of being empowered is to take control of your money and be honest with yourself if you have a spending problem. If you are going into a negative in your budget it is time to make plans towards cutting out what isn’t needed and or finding a practical way towards generating more income.

4. Set Goals and be proactive

You can set all the goals you like but you must be proactive by doing the work and taking the actions towards acheiving your goals. My motivation is knowing that I have had my three children to set an example for. Here are a few of the goals that I have achieved over the span of several years.

Fitness

buy a new car

write a book or blog

make new friends

charity work

body building competition

Setting and achieving goals are very important towards self empowerment and building self confidence, when you are finished achieving a goal it’s important to celebrate that goal but then to keep moving forward towards future goals. There is great satisfaction in a job well done!

5. Self care

I want all single moms to drop the guilt here; It is important that you meet the needs of your children but it is also inportant that your needs are met too. If your cup is empty than you have nothing to give your children. It is important that you allow yourself rest. It is important that you all eat healthy and that you workout five times a week. Take care of your appearance; your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being is your empowerment. Budget your time for me time.

6. Life isn’t fair

Life isn’t a fairytale. Many Goddess empowerment life coaches will try to sell you on meeting the man of your dreams and being able to create some fanastic other reality just by paying them for endless life coaching sessions; and that is wrong and will make you feel hopeless in the long run over empowered. Shit happens in real life and for the most part we are not manifesting this reality on our own. We share this earthly reality with billions of other souls in different levels of consciousness and so we are bound to run into some shit realities. The justice system is sexist and the world is full of bigotry and some real wack jobs; so we have to learn to work around it. We have to learn to make the best of what we can control and to accept what we cannot contol. That doesn’t mean we become complacent, just that we are able to choose what is worth putting our energy towards. When you hit a wall sometimes it’s best to go into a different direction of your own.

7. Feeling sad or suicidal

Most women’s sadness comes from unvented anger because we live in societies that don’t allow women to be angry; just like most men’s anger comes from held in sorrow because we live in societies that don’t allow men sorrow but only anger as an emotion; Therefore it is important to vent out our emotions to help us not give into to suicidal thoughts or actions. So please be angry and vent your anger out in a non destructive fashion such as a hard workout or screaming and crying into a pillow. Get help if you need help. Call the crisis line if you need help right away. I got help when I needed help. It takes great strength to ask for help when we are at our most vulnerable. Let no one shame you into being strong enough to ask for help. I have helped suicidal and vulnerable friends; and I have been there myself. The greatest courage is saving yourself. Remember this too shall pass

8. Have FAITH

Having a belief system or a practice that brings us to faith and hope when all feels lost brings us back to an empowered state. You can be an athiest and still find hope and faith in meditaion or nature walks. If religion or a belief is God gives you true empowerment than that is your private and personal walk in faith. My personal walk of faith is a spiritual, non religious, non dogmatic spirituality that is based in nature. Do what brings you hope, love and peace.

9. Gratitude

Comparison is the theif of joy ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Society and or the media is constantly wanting us to compare ourselves to others so we are motivated into buying products for other’s validation; from learning to be happy with what you have. Count your blessings when you feel like the world has short changed you. Most of us single mothers feel that way from time to time. Being a single mother is often a struggle and a financial jugglimg act; but when we learn to stop and smell the roses it can turn bitterness sweet. Count those little fingers and toes, be thankful for your health, for your talents and natual gifts, for your friends and community. Happiness is an inside job.

10. Be authentic

Be yourself. The most powerful thing you can be is your true self. Be prepaired to cut even the closest people out of your life if they don’t accept you for you. Speak to be heard and speak with your own voice. Remember you teach people how to treat you. Set boundaries down. Always maintain your DIGNITY

11. Romance

Don’t let people shame you as a single mother for wanting a new relationship and remember if you are not honest and clear with yourself you will not get what you want. It is ok to want romance in your life, of course it is! You can love your children and a new romantic partner. But being alone and getting to know yourself and taking the time to heal from your last relationship is critical towards your own empowerment. Empowerment is knowing yourself. Knowing yourself and becoming conscious of our own shadows, wounds and weaknesses means that we will be empowered and healed towards being ready for a new and healthy intimate relationship. Until you have worked on strengthening youself from the inside out you will not be ready for a lasting and healthy love. Time takes time and this takes time. A truly empowered woman doesn’t look for a man to hide herself behind, she goes into herself towards self transformation to become as a walking GODDESS 

A GODDESS IS AN EMPOWERED WOMAN

You can find my book { The Goddess and Expression of the Divine Feminine } by Gracie Ackerman on Amazon,ca

Justin Trudeau and Post Nationalism/ setting up a dictatorship

At first I thought Justin Trudeau was going to be great for Canada and the world as he called himself a feminist and hired many women to be in his cabinet, but I had no idea that the women that he had hired would be used to push, promote and support Islam. Islam and it’s fundaments used to repress, abuse, segregate, and objectify women towards being property of men. I could not forsee that Trudeau would accept a vacation from Aga Khan’s private island that would cost taxpayers and also put him into a direct conflict of interest towards being neutral towards the Canadian people’s best interest vs the powerful elite. The financial cost to the tax payer was $ 133,883.00 but the cost to democracy could be much hirer as we know that he accepted the vacation from a wealthy eltist religious leader of the Muslim faith. I had no idea that the carbon tax was going to be used to kill Canadian industry before we have a chance to phase into a new Green Energy industy, by over taxing Canadian’s, capping the oil sands and then importing Saudi oil. The question Canadian’s should be asking is ” Why is Trudeau promoting and pandering to Arabic culture and religion?” I think the answer to that question is quite simple. It’s money and power. By Justin’s own words, attitudes and comments we can see that he wants to change Canada’s identity and culture by merging it with Arabic Eastern cultures and religion that creates that culture, by the idea of postnationalism. By making Canada into a higher percentage Muslim culture Justin feeds into the New World Order of promoting a religion and government that can control the masses through strict rules and dogmas of conformity primarly by controling the female population by laws based on modestly or to be frank.. controling women’s bodies and their sexuality as we see by female genital mutilation that lessons women’s sexual desires and by the hijab ( being promoted as a fashion choice in the western world ) that is really a religious code of conduct.

Taking a critical look at Justin’s statements about postnationalism shows his entitlement as an elitist and as a globalist that puts him into conflict against protecting Canada’s nationalism and it’s people and culture. Frankly Justin doesn’t give a damn about what Canadian’s want or what we think, as an elitist he is telling us what we want and what to think. Right now he is going around Canada giving town hall meetings about over taxing small business on top of the cabon tax he wants to blanket Candan with. He is not debating, but rather convincing Canadian’s by rhetoric – language designed to have persuasive or impressive effect on it’s audience, but often regarded as lacking in sincerity or meaningful content – he has all ready stated that no matter what Canadians think of closing tax loop holes for small business and placing more taxes on small business he and his government will go through with the tax. This is dictatorship as he is not working for the people but against their wishes. Justin’s over all goal is to impose a socialist government onto the common people, to impose religion into government to further censor the people ( that is already happening by those liberals brainwashed by the government calling those who are against religion in the government ” bigots and rascist ” and by the use of the word islamophobia and the passing of the bill M-103 which limits freedom of speech and could even bring in Sharia Law )

 I have to write here that I am against any hate crimes imposed on those of the Muslim faith or of those who dress according to the code of the Muslim faith should I be accused of islmaphobia

The word phobia means an irrational fear, to fear a religion that has many documented cases of extreamism, fanaticism that are carried out as terrorism, terroist attacks, the murder of gays and women in the name of that religion up to this date is a rational fear that is based on reality and fact. To rationalize the word islmaphobia becomes a non word that is indeed political manipulation or rhetoric used to silence the majority into conformity towards furthering the elitist agenda of controlling the world’s population, in mass by a world government based on dictatorship over democracy. But I am not allowed to say that least I should be called ignorant and heartless. Yet we see the UN doing nothing to stop the wars inside of wars inside of Syria because the UN is the foundations of the world government that has been secretly in power over what we think are the governments of the world. They use Syria as away to create political confusion or a diversion to erode borders and nationalism by pulling at heart strings when those elites are heartless themselves. To the elites we are little more than meat, and their agenda is to make the masses work for them. This is why Justin did not pursue electoral reform, becaiuse the publics desires to impove the system of democracy are a mute point. We simply do not matter and political leaders like Justin are promoted to us through a sytem that is not for the people but for the elites that run the system.

So what will happen to Canada and it’s existing culture since our own PM doesn’t respect or acknowledge that Canadian’s have a culture or any nationalism to protect? What will happen to our western democracy when religion that is Bronze Age is imposed into a our Government? What will happen to freedom of speech or the freedom of belief if we are told that we cannot question the practices of a religion that is based upon putting men in power over women and children? Patriarchy – a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it – but you say ” Justin has allowed many women to be in his government, he says he is a feminist so how can he by against women?” I say to you ” He puts women in his government that work within the boundaries of the glass ceiling or that submit to male power by accepting a patriarchial religion into government that puts men in power above them. I say to you that this is really misogyny in the disguise of feminism. Much like a enemy pretending to be your friend. It’s the enemy that is pretending to be your friend that is the most dangerous because the betrayal will be massive.”

How sucessful Trudeau and his elitist agenda will be, will be up to the people who allow it or who stand up to the betrayal.

The agenda is to slowly erode democracy towards dictatorship over the people for the elites by forcing socialism just for the common people. We will go backwards into the Middle Ages giving the power and wealth to the few by dis-empowering many.

 

Chiron Tears

 

Sometimes there is a gift or two in sadness, suffering and sorrow. We are a society that is constantly searching outside of ourselves for happiness and fulfillment. But what if it is the constant searching that makes us unhappy? We are always waiting for a better tomorrow and a brighter day but when we do this, we are not being in the moment or being present in our truth ,and the reality that we are currently facing. I have been doing this by telling myself that when I meet my soul mate my life will begin again. I have put myself in a frozen holding pattern by telling myself I will not be fulfilled unless a man loves me romantically again. I have wanted to prove to my ex husband that I am lovable by finding a man to love me the way he refused to do. But then if I believe this I am not loving myself and I will not be loving the man I could be with. I would just be in love with love or romantic notions rather than with myself or with the person that I am with.

I have been doing this with my book as well. Telling myself my life will begin as soon as I reach the success of having a publishing house publish me, and by reaching public notice, that my life will then begin. But the truth is my life and I have always been here this entire 8 years since my husband left me with our three kids. The truth is just the fact that I wrote a book and self published the bo0k has been a level of success that few people ever reach. The truth is that happiness has not evaded me but I have been finding excuses to ignore it.

I learned this lesson from the last man I dated just a few days ago. I fell into the online fantasy again and did what I said I would never do. That was texting and face timing with a man for hours before meeting with him in person to see if there was a physical connection. In the last 8 years of my single life it has always ended badly. You see it is easy to construct a romantic fantasy online. It is easy for men and women to profess to be much more online than in person. It is like building a castle in the clouds. It is nothing but fantasy that cannot be in reality. When I was on my way to meet him I felt a deep sadness because inside I knew what was going to happen. It crashed and burned. He told me he didn’t find me attractive by text message afterwards. I felt the fall again. The fall from the castle in the clouds. I went over everything he said to me in my head ” I really feel like something amazing is happening between us, something very special.” that’s what he said; and I fell for it like a total fool. Like I said, this wasn’t my first rodeo. I have had so many of these meet up dates over the last 8 years I can’t possiblily remember them all, it must be over 100. Yet here I was falling into the same patterns of longing and yearning for the fantasy man who would ride in on his white horse and save me from loneliness.

One of my worst fears is dying before I am loved by a man

But then what if I drop the false hope? What if I drop the yearning and the longing and I let myself fall deeply into the wound of loneliness? What if I stay in the wound for awhile and explore the pain? What happens when I just allow myself to be in the reality of being alone? What if there is never going to be anyone? Can I be happy just being alone? Can I learn to except myself as the loner, weird artist, spiritualist that has always never fit in? What if I just accept the reality of the place that I am? It’s drinking my tears to heal my wound because the wounds of abandonment cannot be healed if I keep abandoning myself in this loneliness. And that is the gift in the suffering, itis  learning to accept myself as I am, it is learning that real love isn’t a fantasy and anyone that tries to sell you on a fantasy isn’t looking for the real thing; and wouldn’t know the real thing if they think a fantasy is love. Because real love is accepting yourself and others for all their imperfections and wierdness. I was willing to look past his imperfections but he was not willing to do the same. Sometimes it is better to be alone. I felt myself fall and get pulled down by crashing reality because I allowed the fable.

Sometimes being hopefull is actually being in denial because my heart knew and my intuition knew exactly what was about to happen because my subconscious was waking up to my denial. So there is no fairytale ending but there is a real and honest happiness in facing the truth. No one can make me happy but me and no one can heal my emotional pain and wounds but me. My happiness is my responsibility, moment to moment because the moment is all we have.

My book is available on amazon.com ~ The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ~ by Gracie Ackerman

An Organized Goddess Religion

 

 

Why would we want an organized Goddess religion when we know what religion has done to the world by causing inequality and wars? A Goddess religion could create a balance in society by being a fair and just religion that is equal; creating equalities and justice for all the people by the way it is practiced and by the way it’s dogmas or rules are formed to support all of humanity. The patriachial religions that exist today uphold a few men; by sex and sexual orientation. The patriarchial relgion particulary hates women causing great inequality and the war of the sexes as women and gays sexuality is judged as file by the following scriptures.

Leviticus 27: 3 -7 God defines the value of women as 60 percent of men’s value

Leviticus – If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman,both of them have done what is detestable, they must be put to death.

Islam – don’t marry a women that are already married unless they are slaves that you stole in war

Hindu – Males aged 24 and 30 should marry females between the ages of 8 and 12

Judaism – A womanis a sack of excretment

Buddhism – Nuns have one third more rules to follow than monks in the vinaya-pitaka. The failed man becomes a woman in the next life.

Jainism – Women cannot achieve liberation without being reborn as men first.

Anyone who knows anything about religion can find passages like this riddled throughout patriarchial religions text or scriptures of multiple different religions that were created by men in the name of a male god. For thousands of years these religions that clearly teach hate and sexual repression have also created societies that act in tern. We see this hate and bigotry seeped into governments legislation and laws. If a religion existed that stood up against this religion’s bigotry we could create a more balanced and psychologically healthy world or society.

So my dear reader lets create it. First every religion needs deities; because The Goddess is about justice and balance she chooses to stand with her God, and their children and so we have The Divine Feminine, The Divine Masculine and all their creations, including all of nature. This is a religion based on seeing sex as sacred rather than as evil or sinful. This religion is based upon loving all that is natural including the needs and wants of the body. The body is seen as the sacred holy temple of the divine light of the soul. All races and sexual orientations are welcomed and loved in The Goddess Relgion as sacred. The Goddess Religion respects that all people have a different lens that they understand the divine through and so many God and Goddess archetypes and templates are given symbols, rituals and scriptures to help us to all rise towards our divine nature; towards the highest aspects of one’s own specific divinity or soul.

Unlike the patriarchial religions that preach women’s bodies, wombs, menstruation, breastfeeding, childbirthing and ovulation as dirty and unclean; The Goddess Religion will honour the miracle and the wisdom in the life and death giving powers of the feminine body. Saying ” There is power in the blood,” will take on a new meaning. The Divine Masculine and the Divine Femine will come together once more in sacred worship. The war of the sexes will end when sex is sacred and bodies are not dirty but of love and light.

In The Goddess Religion no one will be put above others as it will be a cirlce of light rather than a ladder of success to climb in the wordly sense of powering and ego tripping above others; those who are self taught, and wise seekers will all be able to lead and organize the worship.

It will not be a place of business or of social competition as this will take away from the zen, peace, manifesting and inner soul work. It is a place were all are welcome and filled with energy not stripped of it due to wordly ventures.

Being that the church has to be established the first services would be held in rented halls; community buildings or private homes, backyards and parks. The problem with establishing the religion is getting enough people together who are brave enough to stand against the social stigmas and who have the will power to put in the time and effort to organize and execute. We have to understand that the main force behind the patriarchial religions was to control and conquer masses of peole and it still is the main force behind it. The force behind The Goddess Religion is love and acceptance or true spiritual healing vs world domination; so would that be enought to get people together to actually make it happen?

This is an organized model of a Goddess Gathering or Service

Music and singing to welcome the worshippers – they all say together under the priestess and priest ” We all come together in the Divine Light of the Eternal Mother and Father ” as this is a unification and a invocation or invitation that the God/ Goddesses join us

There would then be introductions and hugs and announcements of births/deaths/engagement/weddings/birthdays etc.

More music or even a solo performer and then there would be prayers and a guided meditation.

There would be writing and or scriptures written of the specific God or Goddess that would be a part of the specific spiritual lesson or ritual of the service. There would be symbolisms used and those making living testimony of their own spiritual experiences towards the message or meaning of the God/Goddess choosen for the worship.

More praying or specific ritual towards that diety as to close the service

An offering would then take place to support the church

The worshippers would then be sent off with more singing and music to be dismissed towards coffee and refreshments for more unformal socializing afterwards.

The services would be held in the evening of Friday 13 as this is the day of The Goddess or the feminine. There would be specialized gatherings for new and full moon rituals as well as astrology and other spiritual but not patriarchial beliefs would be included in much of the worship and ritual.

Same sex marriages would take place and open sexual relationships would not be judged. Misogyny, emasculating and child abuses would not be tolerated as all members of the church would be treated with respect and equality.

” Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” would still stand as valuable spirituality.

Of course the reality is that this religion doesn’t exist today; we still have male religious leaders giving women allowances over their bodies like ” It’s ok to breastfeed discreetly in church but don’t have abortions or use birth control.” we still have churches that refuse to let women minister and churches that refuse to include gay and lesbian people. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if this relgion existed and you could taylor God and your worship of God/Goddess to be just as unique and special as you are? It would be lovely to see us all in heaven.. but what if we created some heaven on earth?

Just maybe one day this will happen.

Justin Trudeau and the Patriarchy

 

Dear Mr. Trudeau the patriarchy is a system of society or government which men hold power and largely exclude women from it. The patriarchy is also religions based on the rule and worship of male gods that exclude female gods. It’s interesting how what we believe governs us from above manifest as governing us on earth. The worlds first spiritual or religious practices were governed by both female and male gods. The seat of religion, historically is the Middle East; this is were the three most powerful worlds religions were formed and of course were there is the highest concentration of war and violence today due to these religious beliefs or dogmas. But before Roman Times ; Gaia was believed to have been the first God or Goddess to have given birth to the cosmos and all of it’s creations. When the Middle East and Rome began to grow and expand it’s empire through war, Zues the god of war began to take over the belief systems of mankind. With the belief of all male gods men on earth began to use violence against women and their children to enslave them into being property vs being equals. We see that to this date in dogmatic beliefs that make women sex and sexuality evil, tempting, seducing and distracting towards causing men to rape them, beat them and or miss treat them. Women today in our western and eastern cultures are blamed and abandoned by a male based society that vitimizes them and then chastizes them for being victims.

To this very day men of power like yourself use women issue;s like feminism as a means of self promotion to then further control women by promoting patriarchal religions like Islam, Christianity and Judaism ( just to name the three most powerful ) as being pro- feminism or pro- diversity when in fact, the fact of their specific and fundamentalistic dogmas, these dogmas written into their scriptures as a belief system; these religions and others like them are anti-woman, anti- gay and full of hate speech – is a speech which attacks a person or group on the attributes such as race, religion, ethinic origin, sexual orientation, disablity or gender – yet you have termed the phrase Islamaphobia as a potentially hate speech to label those who appose it’s sexism or misogyny, or terrorist attacks done in it’s name as racist. What you are attempting to do is to silence freedom of speech, freedom of thought and to disolve democracy – a system of government by the whole population – there is a reason why government and religion must remain separate. Clearly government and religion must remain separate because the dogmas in religion cause hate and division by causing inequality. That inequality obviously all ready existis in this so called modern society that isn’t really modern or evolved. Women have yet to see equal pay for equal work, the law has yet to be equal or fair to women as sexism and sexual harassment exist deeply within our judicial sytems. You have yet to address in depth the sexist judges, police and courts who still further victimize women and girls for being victims of men. Yet you use your time in power to further relgion that is sexist, enslaving and violent towards women and children.

Canada is still a country that doesn’t support it’s women in children with far wages, child care and programs that help average families with, health and education so that women, children can flourish, and so that all of Canadian’s can experience a greater quality of life. It seems to many of us that you are more concerned with your own social, global profile towards other world elites than you are concerned about the health and safety of every Canadian citizen. This isn’t a populatity contest this is real life. Most Canadian’s were not born to privilege like you and it seems that you have never understood that you are not a King you are a Prime Minister of Canada, this means that you work for the people. It seems you need to be reminded of the fact that our tax dollars pay your wages and that accepting gifts of vacations from your filthy rich elitist Muslim friends ( Who of course is a man ) has erroded the people’s confidence in you. You have not put all of our interests into perspective but simply a select few whom you can use to further your own political goals and strategies. Going by the history above it is easy to reason that your goals along with the other powerful men of the world is to keep the power over women;  by confusing them into believing that patriarchial based relgions support feminism by having women internalize misgyny by being brainwashed and slut shamed by their dogmas. Having women believe that they are responsible for enticing men by exposing their bodies or expressing their sexuality is misogyny. It starts in the school system by sending young girls home for wearing shoulder bareing dresses; saying they distract the boys while teaching them that they cannot be distracted by male sexuality. These are double standards and they are inequalities; this is sexism. The government or system is teaching boys that they are not responsible for restraining themselves but that girls and women are responsible for being sexualy harassed by what they are wearing or doing. The system is not teaching men and boys not to rape but is teaching women and girls how not to be raped; this then leads to victim blaming that we see in the relgious and court systems when women and girls are raped or abused.

Religion isn’t spirituality. Spirituality is truely diverse as it doesn’t judge or condemn by dogmas as everyone has a right to believe in what they like as long as it doesn’t infringe on the personal rights and freedoms of others. Religion doesn’t allow freedom to those who don’t follow it’s dogmas; those dogmas are to condemn and to cause physical harm to others who wish to be free of them. Religious freedom is an oxymoron as it doesn’t allow freedoms to those who do not follow it or even to those who do. Religion hates women as it condemns them for their wombs blood and sexual pleasure.

If you were a true feminist like you profess to be you would not be promoting religion over women’s rights or gay rights.

The only thing that you should be speaking out about is that everyone deserves not to be terrorized by religion or for their beliefs but also no one should be able to use their religion to take away the fundamental rights of others. People do have a right to speak out and to protect themselves from anyone or group that wishes to take their rights and freedoms from them in the name of their relgion or god.

If you really want diversity than how about we include some female gods in the state holidays. On my calendar I only see holidays that pertain to male gods and male worship. But that might just be too feminist for you?

Seeing Through The Spiritual Bullshit/ Spiritual Warrior

 

My personal spirituality started in a very humble, simple and quiet way. As a child I had very vivid dreams, my dreams were so real I sometimes didn’t know if I was awake or dreaming.. so did I really see and hear angels or is my memory playing tricks on me? Ancient images spoke to me so that’s why I taught myself how to read tarot cards by studying multiple books. I taught myself  how to decifer dream images. I taught myself yoga through old books and even as a small child I enjoyed nature walks alone to commune with the Earth Mother. But now all of that has changed. Spiritualiy is becoming a trend on social media and in the publishing world. Now to be trendy you have to pay to do yoga and be seen doing yoga. You have to be a certified reader by someone whom has been published by Hayhouse. Everything in the media influenced Spiritual Community has become ego driven rather than driven by the purity of The Divine Spark Within. Just like religion we are being taught to look outside of ourselves rather than within. Spirituality is really rather simple; it is being present in the moment and being your true authentic self. There is really nothing flakey about spirituality. Tends make spirituality into flaky, bullshit.

I got caught up in the bullshit too, and I know many people in the spiritual community have been and are caught up in the shit. It is shit because it is based on greed, ego and competitive fuckery. Last year this time I worked as a reader for a YouTube famous astrologer. I really liked her and things were going well with our spiritual relationship until she hired a media assistant to work for her. This lady wanted to promote me as well as her other readers but she wanted me to be anything but authentic, she wanted to promote tinsel rather than truth and so we clashed. To make a long story short, I quit and went to work out on my own. This lady is now working with another YouTube famous astrologer and so soon she will have him cleaning up his act and lossing himself in his ego rather than shinging his authentic self. I saw my own ego through this and that was the spiritual lesson and I also saw what I didn’t want to become and that was another spiritual flaky fake. At the time I was competing in Women’sBodybuilding, I learned about my own ego this time last summer and about how the ego can lead you away from true spirituality and inner peace. I was not living in the moment and I was not comfortable in my own skin. I had let a male trainer seduce me by using my own ego to get his high and money from me, to feed his ego.My zen type fitness turned into stress and pressure rather than a simple pleasure that gave me happiness. I became wise to the fact that working toward things for others approval was a certain way of falling off the spiritual path; and that path is the true path to inner happiness. True Happiness is simple, just like real and authentic spirituality it doesn’t need any special bells and whistles. 

I think the flakery in spirituality is when we think everything is a special sign from God or the Divine. Simply, this reality exists with us and without us. Most of the time we become truly intuned with or we commune with The Divine when we have reached a state of humility, gratitude or when we are in our greatest need. Not everyting, including the stars exist to please our every whim and whimper.

I know for a fact that even without paying for an expensive yoga class or reader certification that we all have the ability to commune with the spark within and the cosmos outside of us, I know for a fact that you don’t need and app for that. You don’t need an app to contact The Divine within or in the Cosmos.

You don’t need YouTube, you don’t even need cards or images, you don’t even need me as a reader to read you, you just need to meditate and pay attention to your dreams. You just need to get outside in nature, shut your ego mind down and do a few yoga poses on a mountain. I am not saying don’t listen to astrology or don’t get a reading from me or someone else, but I am telling you to put it into perspective. Spiritualists are people too,so don’t go for all the hype and media candy; that is the bullshit.

As a spiritual person it is my first perogative to lead you towards the real light rather than the shining spotlight of the ego. We all have the priest and priestess within us just waiting to be called upon.

My main focus now is to get real with my own bullshit; and to ignore or rise above the bullshit online. I belong to very few spiritual online groups, I just can’t stand watching all the fake and flaky, egotistical guru Facebook videos people post constantly wanting to be the next biggest thing in the spiritual community.. selling snake oil much? 

 

I find myself detaching more and more from the flaky spiritual community off and online. There have been times that I have walked through a spiritual fair to feel like I was Jesus walking through the Temple full of thieves.. not everyone that owns a deck of tarot cards and crystals has a gift, everyone does have the ablity to tune in but not everyone has that extraspecial talent. Spirituality has become a trend, its now what you wear, what you eat and even how you talk. It has become a costume party for some.

I have learned a lot about letting go. I just can’t pretend to be what I am not. I believe being a true alchemist is done by accepting your humanity and human experience as your spiritual walk and lesson on this earthly realm. It really is that simple. We are here to make mistakes, have fun, cry and yes even suffer to experience the fullness of life and death. It’s just not that complicated or grand. This life and it’s lessons are humbling and in that humbing there is great beauty and love.

That one in a million guy will get me

 

Driving with my son this afternoon from Vernon back home to Armstrong, we had the windows rolled down as if to welcome the sunshine and spring into the car. The sweet smell of animal shit came wafting in and I said to my son as he made a face ” That sweet smell of the country.” it was like a welcome home. Both me and my boy are learning to leave the pretentiousness of Kelowna behind us. Later that evening we decided through a friends advice not to dye his hair metalic blue because Armstrong isn’t Kelowna and his farm kids friends just wouldn’t get it. Then my girlfriend said to me ” Gracie the real you isn’t like the person you post online. I mean it is and it isn’t. The Gracie I see is low key and nature loving. You didn’t fit into Kelowna because you are not high maintenance. Like I understand why you do what you do online, but other people just will not get it especially guys. But I get it because I have to run a business and but on my business face just like you have your online profile ego and I know that it is both sides to the coin for both of us, and that we are just country girls at home.. but to other people who don’t really know you they just will not get it.” than I said to her ” But you found a guy that gets it, you found that ( one in a million guy ) that guy that is the redneck, country boy at home but the high flying business dude at work.. so if you can than I stand a chance of meeting a man that can get me and my two sides of the coin just like all of us? Or at least I hope so, because the work I do online is important and I need the ego or the persona to get the attention for the message.”

But yes she is absolutley right, it is going to be very difficult to find the man or have the one in a million man find me going by my online profile. Women’s sexual empowerment and equality, and calling myself a feminist is going to scare off a lot of men or attract men who get the wrong idea. When I was in Kelowna W. Brett Wilson called me crazy and pretentious because he is used to women like that obviously, but I think he spoke for most men who would judge me the same way going by what I post online. He told me I was attention seeking, and by a base line one size fits all defintion he was correct. The online Gracie does want attention to get the message out that a woman getting attention for her sexuality isn’t evil, slutty or shameful; but the Gracie at home in her daily life.. well I am actually quite simple. I am a little jock/nerd/mommy/country girl. Yes I am an intellectual as I can tell you that the feminine archetype I am describing here is the Artemis/Venus. You see Artemis is the other side of the coin of Venus.. so Venus would be high maintenance and very sensual and Artemis is the chaste, athletic woman or girl. A woman goes from both one to the other and that confuses men, a psychologist will know exactly what I am talking about.

I have been in my inner Artemis for a few years now as I haven’t had a sexual partner for 2 1/2 years now. I know that seems like a total contradiction towards what I put out online towards women’s sexual freedom and empowerment. Of course many men and women will assume by my online profile that I have many partners and lots of sex; but it is also my freedom to explore being chaste.

I have had a very similar conversation  with another girlfriend of mine who is working on becoming a psycholigist; as to how in my daily life and upon getting to know me personally how I am both the Artemis and the Venus and as to how I am very much the Artemis right now in my daily life. Artemis is also very grounded and intouch with nature and children.

Another of my girlfriends was telling me how awful it is that a woman cannot say she is a strong woman and than say she also wants a relationship with a man, without the world judging her as weak. She is right. I believe a strong woman can do it on her own but she is also strong by letting a man do for her, and a strong man will not want her to do everything for herself but will want to help her and show her love by helping her. I am not an old school feminist who believes that wanting and having a man in her life is weak, I believe becoming a couple with the right person can make you stronger in many ways. Most men and women will judge me online as not being open towards bring in a masculine man or country gentleman towards me for calling myself a feminist.

I am a very spiritual woman but I can’t handle spiritual flakery; I don’t want to attract a spiritual nutcase either. I think he will be my opposite and even possibly be an atheist to counteract or balance me. That is why opposites attract. I guess my one in a million guy will be like me in the fact that he can be all business and serious about his work out in the world like I am with my book and blog; but be a sweet, and chill redneck country boy at home.. He will be the one that is smart enough and brave enough to understand why and what I am doing online, and stand by me; but also he will have the wisdom and common sense to see that I am really a pure and simple soul.

As a mom it’s really hard to write, it was really difficult to take the selfie I posted here; as I try to write someone always wants and needs something and when I was taking the selfie my son kept banging on my bedroom door. I was lucky to get the pic first try. Trying to edit my blog and to edit the image… ya right.

In real life, my life is very nitty gritty. I don’t party because it’s just too much work and I like my sleep so I can get up and lift and workout in the mornings. I am actually quite basic, very loyal to my friends and family. I have never cheated on a man and I am a one man, woman. I like my daily life simple and sweet. In many ways I  can be quite old fashioned.

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