Seeing Through The Spiritual Bullshit/ Spiritual Warrior

 

My personal spirituality started in a very humble, simple and quiet way. As a child I had very vivid dreams, my dreams were so real I sometimes didn’t know if I was awake or dreaming.. so did I really see and hear angels or is my memory playing tricks on me? Ancient images spoke to me so that’s why I taught myself how to read tarot cards by studying multiple books. I taught myself  how to decifer dream images. I taught myself yoga through old books and even as a small child I enjoyed nature walks alone to commune with the Earth Mother. But now all of that has changed. Spiritualiy is becoming a trend on social media and in the publishing world. Now to be trendy you have to pay to do yoga and be seen doing yoga. You have to be a certified reader by someone whom has been published by Hayhouse. Everything in the media influenced Spiritual Community has become ego driven rather than driven by the purity of The Divine Spark Within. Just like religion we are being taught to look outside of ourselves rather than within. Spirituality is really rather simple; it is being present in the moment and being your true authentic self. There is really nothing flakey about spirituality. Tends make spirituality into flaky, bullshit.

I got caught up in the bullshit too, and I know many people in the spiritual community have been and are caught up in the shit. It is shit because it is based on greed, ego and competitive fuckery. Last year this time I worked as a reader for a YouTube famous astrologer. I really liked her and things were going well with our spiritual relationship until she hired a media assistant to work for her. This lady wanted to promote me as well as her other readers but she wanted me to be anything but authentic, she wanted to promote tinsel rather than truth and so we clashed. To make a long story short, I quit and went to work out on my own. This lady is now working with another YouTube famous astrologer and so soon she will have him cleaning up his act and lossing himself in his ego rather than shinging his authentic self. I saw my own ego through this and that was the spiritual lesson and I also saw what I didn’t want to become and that was another spiritual flaky fake. At the time I was competing in Women’sBodybuilding, I learned about my own ego this time last summer and about how the ego can lead you away from true spirituality and inner peace. I was not living in the moment and I was not comfortable in my own skin. I had let a male trainer seduce me by using my own ego to get his high and money from me, to feed his ego.My zen type fitness turned into stress and pressure rather than a simple pleasure that gave me happiness. I became wise to the fact that working toward things for others approval was a certain way of falling off the spiritual path; and that path is the true path to inner happiness. True Happiness is simple, just like real and authentic spirituality it doesn’t need any special bells and whistles. 

I think the flakery in spirituality is when we think everything is a special sign from God or the Divine. Simply, this reality exists with us and without us. Most of the time we become truly intuned with or we commune with The Divine when we have reached a state of humility, gratitude or when we are in our greatest need. Not everyting, including the stars exist to please our every whim and whimper.

I know for a fact that even without paying for an expensive yoga class or reader certification that we all have the ability to commune with the spark within and the cosmos outside of us, I know for a fact that you don’t need and app for that. You don’t need an app to contact The Divine within or in the Cosmos.

You don’t need YouTube, you don’t even need cards or images, you don’t even need me as a reader to read you, you just need to meditate and pay attention to your dreams. You just need to get outside in nature, shut your ego mind down and do a few yoga poses on a mountain. I am not saying don’t listen to astrology or don’t get a reading from me or someone else, but I am telling you to put it into perspective. Spiritualists are people too,so don’t go for all the hype and media candy; that is the bullshit.

As a spiritual person it is my first perogative to lead you towards the real light rather than the shining spotlight of the ego. We all have the priest and priestess within us just waiting to be called upon.

My main focus now is to get real with my own bullshit; and to ignore or rise above the bullshit online. I belong to very few spiritual online groups, I just can’t stand watching all the fake and flaky, egotistical guru Facebook videos people post constantly wanting to be the next biggest thing in the spiritual community.. selling snake oil much? 

 

I find myself detaching more and more from the flaky spiritual community off and online. There have been times that I have walked through a spiritual fair to feel like I was Jesus walking through the Temple full of thieves.. not everyone that owns a deck of tarot cards and crystals has a gift, everyone does have the ablity to tune in but not everyone has that extraspecial talent. Spirituality has become a trend, its now what you wear, what you eat and even how you talk. It has become a costume party for some.

I have learned a lot about letting go. I just can’t pretend to be what I am not. I believe being a true alchemist is done by accepting your humanity and human experience as your spiritual walk and lesson on this earthly realm. It really is that simple. We are here to make mistakes, have fun, cry and yes even suffer to experience the fullness of life and death. It’s just not that complicated or grand. This life and it’s lessons are humbling and in that humbing there is great beauty and love.

That one in a million guy will get me

 

Driving with my son this afternoon from Vernon back home to Armstrong, we had the windows rolled down as if to welcome the sunshine and spring into the car. The sweet smell of animal shit came wafting in and I said to my son as he made a face ” That sweet smell of the country.” it was like a welcome home. Both me and my boy are learning to leave the pretentiousness of Kelowna behind us. Later that evening we decided through a friends advice not to dye his hair metalic blue because Armstrong isn’t Kelowna and his farm kids friends just wouldn’t get it. Then my girlfriend said to me ” Gracie the real you isn’t like the person you post online. I mean it is and it isn’t. The Gracie I see is low key and nature loving. You didn’t fit into Kelowna because you are not high maintenance. Like I understand why you do what you do online, but other people just will not get it especially guys. But I get it because I have to run a business and but on my business face just like you have your online profile ego and I know that it is both sides to the coin for both of us, and that we are just country girls at home.. but to other people who don’t really know you they just will not get it.” than I said to her ” But you found a guy that gets it, you found that ( one in a million guy ) that guy that is the redneck, country boy at home but the high flying business dude at work.. so if you can than I stand a chance of meeting a man that can get me and my two sides of the coin just like all of us? Or at least I hope so, because the work I do online is important and I need the ego or the persona to get the attention for the message.”

But yes she is absolutley right, it is going to be very difficult to find the man or have the one in a million man find me going by my online profile. Women’s sexual empowerment and equality, and calling myself a feminist is going to scare off a lot of men or attract men who get the wrong idea. When I was in Kelowna W. Brett Wilson called me crazy and pretentious because he is used to women like that obviously, but I think he spoke for most men who would judge me the same way going by what I post online. He told me I was attention seeking, and by a base line one size fits all defintion he was correct. The online Gracie does want attention to get the message out that a woman getting attention for her sexuality isn’t evil, slutty or shameful; but the Gracie at home in her daily life.. well I am actually quite simple. I am a little jock/nerd/mommy/country girl. Yes I am an intellectual as I can tell you that the feminine archetype I am describing here is the Artemis/Venus. You see Artemis is the other side of the coin of Venus.. so Venus would be high maintenance and very sensual and Artemis is the chaste, athletic woman or girl. A woman goes from both one to the other and that confuses men, a psychologist will know exactly what I am talking about.

I have been in my inner Artemis for a few years now as I haven’t had a sexual partner for 2 1/2 years now. I know that seems like a total contradiction towards what I put out online towards women’s sexual freedom and empowerment. Of course many men and women will assume by my online profile that I have many partners and lots of sex; but it is also my freedom to explore being chaste.

I have had a very similar conversation  with another girlfriend of mine who is working on becoming a psycholigist; as to how in my daily life and upon getting to know me personally how I am both the Artemis and the Venus and as to how I am very much the Artemis right now in my daily life. Artemis is also very grounded and intouch with nature and children.

Another of my girlfriends was telling me how awful it is that a woman cannot say she is a strong woman and than say she also wants a relationship with a man, without the world judging her as weak. She is right. I believe a strong woman can do it on her own but she is also strong by letting a man do for her, and a strong man will not want her to do everything for herself but will want to help her and show her love by helping her. I am not an old school feminist who believes that wanting and having a man in her life is weak, I believe becoming a couple with the right person can make you stronger in many ways. Most men and women will judge me online as not being open towards bring in a masculine man or country gentleman towards me for calling myself a feminist.

I am a very spiritual woman but I can’t handle spiritual flakery; I don’t want to attract a spiritual nutcase either. I think he will be my opposite and even possibly be an atheist to counteract or balance me. That is why opposites attract. I guess my one in a million guy will be like me in the fact that he can be all business and serious about his work out in the world like I am with my book and blog; but be a sweet, and chill redneck country boy at home.. He will be the one that is smart enough and brave enough to understand why and what I am doing online, and stand by me; but also he will have the wisdom and common sense to see that I am really a pure and simple soul.

As a mom it’s really hard to write, it was really difficult to take the selfie I posted here; as I try to write someone always wants and needs something and when I was taking the selfie my son kept banging on my bedroom door. I was lucky to get the pic first try. Trying to edit my blog and to edit the image… ya right.

In real life, my life is very nitty gritty. I don’t party because it’s just too much work and I like my sleep so I can get up and lift and workout in the mornings. I am actually quite basic, very loyal to my friends and family. I have never cheated on a man and I am a one man, woman. I like my daily life simple and sweet. In many ways I  can be quite old fashioned.

I am to old for this shit

 

The world is totally disconnected and on a smaller scale men and women are totally disconnected, and I am just too old for this shit. It has become much to easy for people to get their fetish kicks off snapchats, Facebook and through online dating apps than to make real, honest and truly intimate, personal connections.. and I am just too old for this shit.  I am too old and wise to go chasing after men and to go bat-shit-crazy over cock, frankly I have better things to do with my time and energy like writing this right now on my blog. I guess the problem is many women think their entire lives and spare time should be spent chasing cocky,cocks and/or competing against other women for said dick.. I am just too damn old for this shit.

As much as I seem like a bad ass rock star for going topless with my images online and having my own personal nudes in my book, I am very low key in my day to day life. I am scheduled and regimented; that means { very strictly organized and controlled } I am a single mother of three kids so in order for me to get my me-time in I damn well better have my shit together. I love my fitness lifestyle and in that I am very military. I could make the time to go out to the clubs to drink and chase after players or wanna-be-players but I would rather get to bed early to get my healing for my muscles so I can lift heavy again the next day. I would rather be spending my time on self improvement rather than being another desperate single older woman sitting on a bar stool. I am not wasting my time, on guys who just want to waste my fucking time.

And then there are vibrators; a very wonderful invention that stops good women from sleeping with assholes, because if you can self pleasure well or amazingly, awesomely well; one can wait for a man to love you rather than to just fuck you and fuck you over. I am very thankful for the invention of vibrators and I think if more women explored their own bodies there would be less desperate women to choose from; so men who play these horseshit games would have to stop games and smarten the fuck up.

One of the craziest things about living in these times of  virtual dating is that both men and women are shamed for saying they want a relationship, as if that makes you desperate and emotionally weak? It’s truly fucked up, just like slut shaming for saying you want and like sex. While wanting and liking sex is a primal need so is wanting a mate. In today’s violent society love and intimacy are seen as weaknesses rather than strengths but being cold and ruthless, self serving or selfish is seen as gangster; and we wonder why the world is totally fucked up right now.. and I am just too old for this shit.

We live in an online world were people can basically pretend to be anything they want; like happily married while they cheat on their spouses. Both men and women can pull off a false persona online while being totally creepy fucktards in person. I have learned not to waste your energy or time texting your heart and emotions to anyone online on a dating site because chances are they are married and want to fuck you secretly or they are just playing ego games with you and will not meet you in person; or when you do meet them in person they don’t want to give you their real name as their motives or intentions were never honest to begin with.

So were does this lead us to again… I am too old for this shit. Do you feel me? It seems like romance is totally dead and in it’s place a false zombie has risen to consume all of our souls. It remindes me of my ex husband’s midlife crisis, it was like ” Where is my husband and what have you done with him, you evil demon?” That is dating and romance today; it is humanity today, it seems our souls and hearts have been consumed with Snapchat filters, dating apps and online profiles that are absolute bullshit.

So what choices does that give me as a non cock chaser? Guess I better get used to the fact that I am going to be alone in the middle of the night writing on my blog….because I am too old for this shit, and too fucking wise.

The Emancipation of Women’s Sexuality

 

 

 

 

As long as women are judged by how they dress, who they are with and what they are doing as worthy of having or not having basic human rights they will not have the same rights and freedoms as an average male does in society. As long as women’s bodies are objectified as pornographic they will not be free to fully express or be who they truly are. Granted we all have to follow some social rules, but the double standards placed on women’s sexuality vs a man’s prevents women from having the same freedoms. Men are not blamed for enticing a rapist, men are not blamed for enticing sexual harasment or domestic abuse for supposedly flaunting their sexuality. The belief that men cannot control their sexual urges vs that women can control their sexual urges, is an excuse that allows men to abuse and control women throughout many levels of society and within the home.

The fact that young girls are taught in schools that they must dress in a appropriate way so as not to distract the boys from getting their education and as a way to defend themselves from unwanted sexual advances; preaches towards the social brainwashing used to enslave women to men. Women are also abused by other women who fear loosing male attention and approval by being slut shamed and bullied into dumbing down or covering up their natural sexuality and biology. Other women have proven over the centuries to be brutal and cruel towards their same sex due to competing for a man’s resources and protection.Women who are sexy or sensual, pretty and overtly feminine are seen as seducing men, and using their beauty as a tool for survival and manipulation vs just being who they are. Women have proven throughout history to be their own worst enemy or friend-ememies; some of this jealousy and hatred towards their own sexuality and other women’s sexuality is due to being brainwashed by religious dogma, that has caused internalized misogyny. For women to become free or sexually emancipated we must start within ourselves and with a sisterhood. As far as the promotion of feminism; women are keeping themselves back just as much as the patriarchy, by jealousy and internalized misogyny. If women want to rise towards true equal rights we have to become aware of our own internal misogyny and jealousy towards our own sisters.

If women had equal pay and equal opportunity and if they could be just as free in their bodies and sexuality as men; they wouldn’t have to compete from male attention or resources nor would they be pushing eachother down due to petty jealousies.

It isn’t just the partiarchy that is keeping women down it is women that are keeping women down. We have believed the lies of a media and religion that tells us to fight against each other vs standing together as a sisterhood.

In order for women to be truly free we need to be able to walk the night just as freely as men; we should be able to get dressed for work, without the worry of appearing too sexual just like men do. We are not free when we have to be constantly on edge wondering if we are in the wrong place, at the wrong time, drinking in public around the wrong people, wearing the wrong thing at work, or saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.. because society teaches and promotes that women are responsible for the abuses that men inflict onto them. Society teaches young boys that if a girl is dressed too sexy then he is entitled to harass her as it is her responsibility because she dressed like she was asking for it.

You can purchase my book ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) ~ by Gracie Ackerman from Amazon.ca

my website wall www.sexassacred.com

Free Goddess Coaching

 

 

Being a Goddess or your best self requires that you be yourself. I know a lot of women will seach this up on the internet looking for a step by step guide as to how to be anything but themselves. That is what society has brainwashed women into believing. You are probably wanting to know what you can wear, how you can act or special places you can go to to find your Goddess. I have seen women in Goddess Cirlces dressed like fictional Goddesses and acting in fictional ways that they think will make them more attractive to men and spiritually enlightened in spiritual societies. But honestly this is just role playing or pretend they haven’t actualized their Goddess or their best selves.

If you are looking for a tend or a concept to lose yourself in then you might not want to read this.

A woman who is truly empowered isn’t seeking the approval of others. A woman who is empowered is a Goddess as she is whole to herself. A woman who is being a Goddess is being in her own skin and is seeing herself through her own eyes. You see the patriarchy has brainwashed us through the media towards seeing ourselves and our value through the male gaze. There are many Goddess teachings by female or even male coaches and writers that promote a false Goddess understanding by teaching women becoming a Goddess is to become more attractive or alluring towards male approval. If a woman is not being herself she will not be able to sustain the ACT  and the relationship or courtship that she attracts with her ACT will fail over time because eventually the mask becomes to much of a burden to wear.

Being an empowered woman or GODDESS is not a trend, it is not a fashion nor need it be a spiritual statement; becoming empowered is simply for herself, for yourself.. it is hedonistic as it is simply for the pleasure of being you. It is for the pleasure of exploring you.

A Goddess or an empowered woman is a feminist or believes in equality because she loves herself; the only way to true empowerment is to love and respect yourself.  A Goddess owns herself, her mind, body, reproductive rights, she speaks her mind and gives her opinions. A Goddess is not a damsel in destress, she saves herself but when she needs help she will seek it out because she loves herself enough to know when she needs help. A empowered woman or a Goddess empowers other women, she helps other women by giving her wisdom freely to other women and girls who cannot afford to pay for it. Like I am doing here; but she also knows her worth and isn’t shy in asking for what is due her.

A Goddess is not a brand, just like I said it is not a trend or a fashion statement; an empowered woman and empowering other women is timeless; but, except for a select few men who are more intouch with their inner feminity most Goddess Work must be taught by women who have lived as women; because you do not know what you do not know.

As an empowered woman I do not seek out fame and fortune because I know these things are fleeting; but I seek out a medium on which to share so that all women can become empowered by the message. I don’t and nor should you need the world’s attention or approval. Fame is a vehicle and money should be a shared resource to further empower others.

A Goddess or an empowered women owns her own sexuality past shame, past religious dogma that is the male gaze or perspective, she owns her sexuality past societal norms as they are not normal. A Goddess decides what and how her body will be shaped; but because a Goddess loves herself her health and wellbeing are her main goal. A Goddess choses if modesty or nudity is right for her and doesn’t slut same other women for their own unique choices as to how they express their sexuality.

You become a Goddess by being brave enought to step into your unique and special self. You become a Goddess by loving you as you are and by loving life. You learn to love life by being grateful in the moment, by honing in on your own special gifts and talents; these special gifts and talents become your purpose. A Goddess lives into her purpose and makes life meaningful by doing so.

A empowered woman or a Goddess listens to her own intuition or inner priestess or guides. She is her own spirituality and forms her own religion on around love and compassion to herself and others.

Being a Goddess or empowered woman takes intense bravery as the world wants to constantly drag women back into the male gaze or dumbed down patriachy model of a weak and meek woman, that should be seen and not heard. I Goddess ROARS..

I am not sorry that I didn’t give you a trendy and stylish version of becoming a Goddess that you are probably used to reading. What I hope I did was help you to go deep inside of yourself to invision the greatness of you becoming more of you.

You can find my book on Amazon.ca ( The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) ~  by Gracie Ackerman

Please go to the front page of my website www.sexassacred.com for further information

The 4th Wave of Feminism and Breasts

I think that during my entire lifetime, up until this very point I have been on a journey towards owning my feminism. I suppose I haven’t quite understood what feminism is myself as the topic and movement have been made quite complicated by those who oppose it. The majority of those that oppose feminism or equality towards women are traditionalists that are comfortable in their conformity and entitlement. The women whom repress themselves I have learned through study have internalized misogyny. Internalized misogyny is when a woman unconsciously and consciously chooses to believe her sex to be inferior compared to men and so she must follow the rules of a patriarchial society for her own good, because she believes that her female hormones in her female body cause her to be not as intelligent or as competent as a man.

I have learned about the 4 waves of feminism and upon studying and researching this I now understand why some feminist think women like me who empower themselves through their sexuality are not feminists. It is because the second wave of feminist believed that women who displayed their sexuality were self objectifying themselves; therefore asking men to objectify them. I have since researched why it is almost impossible for a woman to objectify herself. It is not probable for a woman to objectify herself unless she sees herself as an actual object, sexuality is natural and our bodies are who we are, it is not the woman being sexy or sensual that is objectying heself but it is the lens that society has placed on women’s sexuality that objectifies a woman or women. You don’t self objectify by expressing or being your sexuality, but your sexuality can and has been used by big corperations and media to sell objects and that is objectification. Both men and women can be objectified through this lens but it is mainly women who are objectified in society run by corperations. Second wave feminist like Gloria Steinem divoced themselves from their sexuality so that men would stop objectifying them. Gloria Steinem accused Madonna the Pop Artist of self objectification, and according to Madonna she told her that she was not a true feminist because of her self objectification. But as I have stated that is a false concept. Many second wave feminist will see me much like Gloria has viewed Madonna. I found this out contacting a second wave feminist publishing house, they published a book on the ancient goddess to empower women but they found my nude or semi nude pictures of me as the goddess to be self objectifing. These woman have done so much for feminism but this is why the 3 rd wave was needed to further reform feminism.

But going back to the 1 st wave of feminism. The first wave of feminism was the martyr phase as women called themselves The Women’s Suffrage and suffer they did for all women to get the vote, they were beatenin  the streets and went on long hunger strikes in protests, they were met with violence and hatred from the male based or patriarchal legal system as they attempted to make women people and not objects to be owned by their husbands and fathers. They had to shine a light onto the victimhood placed upon women and children under the control of men who were given the power and entitlement to turn violent and brutish at will.

Back to the second wave of feminism; the second wave was begining to adress rape culture by addressing pornography and the objectification of women’s sexuality; but by adressing this many feminist of that time stripped themselves of their own sexuality so as not be seen as self objectifying and this caused the feminist sex wars. Of course pornography needed to be adressed as it was and still is using women’s sexuality to sell product. Pornography was selling and sometimes still is selling the world on rape culture as it deplicts men’s orgams and men’s sexual satisfaction over women’s and it puts women into victim roles, and roles of domestic abuse. Pornography and the media also promoted and still promtes a unattainable body image towards women. Pornography created through the lens of the patriarchy or male entitlement is abusive towards women and if taken in that context it can and has cause violence and other abuses towards women. But taking sexuality away from women as being self objectification has caused women to erode there true empowerment by denying there basic nature; much like what happens in and through the lens of religion.

And so with that we see the 3 rd wave of a more modern day feminism that promotes the ideal of women stepping into their power through embrassing their sexuality, and loving the natural and unique curves of a realistic body type that is simply their own. We as 3rd and 4th wave feminist understand that the 1 st and 2 nd waves of feminism were needed as towards the evolution of feminism and we also understand that feminism will continue to evolve but; 3 rd and 4 th wave feminist are working to abolish the sterotypes placed upon feminist as ball bashing, angry, anti man haters. Many 3 rd and 4 th wave feminists even have difficulty with the word feminist as a way to define them because they feel it excludes men in the wording. I myself have had this conversation with my daughers who are 15 and 17 as to what young girls their ages think of the word feminism. They have told me ” We like the word humanism ” Listening to my daughers and other girls their age, I think it makes sense, because in order for feminism to work it has to include all of humanity. Many men who fear feminism fear that they are disposable to women and no longer are needed in their role of protectors; the truth be tol, that if a man believes and up holds the value of women as equals and is willing to act and speak out in the defence of equality he is very much needed by women and all of humanity. The modern day feminist or humanist is about the intesection of all these roads, towards justice and equality for all.

I am a 4th wave feminist as I use social media to attempt to share and enlighten others towards justice, equality and social acceptance of all humanity. I believe we need to constantly be reforming religion, laws and politics just as often as we have been reforming feminism towards humanism as women have only wanted to be treated as having ownership over themselves just as men do. The feminist/humanist believes in sexual freedom, race and gender equality and a free flowing spirtuality over the dogma, repression and diversion of religion.

As a 4th wave I own my sexuality, I express my sexuality as artistic and empowering and I believe everyone has a right to chose modesty or nudity, chastity or to explore their sexuality on their own terms.

Kelowna Culture in Retrospect-fades to grey

 

When I moved to Kelowna BC from the small town of Armstrong BC, just an hour and a half away I thought it would be a city full of opportunity for me as an artist/writer/activist and on a personal level as a newly divorced, broken hearted single mother; I might find a new love.

I had always wanted to write my book; even as a small child I was accutely aware of the double standards, violence and sexism against women. I thought the Goddess or Wonder Woman was and still is a empowering archetype towards empowering women and girls. The main reason behind my book was to show that women and men could both be strong, emotional, compassionate and that both the sexes could strive towards true justice and equality. As a very small child raised in a strict christian household, I was still a wise old soul whom saw past the shame and sin placed on sexuality as unfounded and just silly. I would prance naked around my repressed mother as she squacked and clucked at me for my sinful nature with glee and mischeif. I just knew that logically the shame placed on sexuality and the body was unnatural not sex and sexuality.

Anyways upon moving to Kelowna and writing, producing the goddess photography or photographs of me as many goddesses, upon designing and publishing my website and blog, I was continually shocked at how the arts council and at how the leaders of Kelowna’s culture treated me as a second class citizen. I was not allowed to join in networking groups, I was not given the press release that the art’s council promised me. I was not allowed to show my book or other art in galleries or other art exhibits. I was not heard by Colin Basran, he called me to tell me there was nothing he could do about the outright prejudice and discrimination placed upon me by the leaders of Kelown’s cultural networking organizations. He told me he could not make people include me. I was made of mockery of by Laurie Welborn who’s name came up on our phone conversation. She did a video of the topless issue after pretending to be my friend off and on Facebook, it was obvious online bullying and even after she made the videos she then asked me to my face if I felt suicidal. During this time I was also harassed out of Brett Wilson’s gym by his female manager a close friend of Laurie’s, because I was told my online profile or my writing about the discrimination, sexuall harssment, sexual discrimination and women’s sexuality was a threat to Brett Wilson’s reputation. The Mayor of Kelowna was made aware of all these facts yet because I was not wealthy or well connected I simply didn’t matter to Kelowna’s socieity or culture. If I had, had a Batchelor of the Arts or other degrees I would probably of been given some credibility, but I am self taught, a natural talent, self read, self motivated, self starter and well studied and well read on my own; but in Kelowna this holds no credibility. In Kelowna’s culture of wealth and social status I was invisible. I was a minority I was an annoyance to the wealthy and connected that wanted and that wants to manipulate and mold Kelowna’s culture as they see fit; like Colin Basran, the wealthy and highly connected Cipes family and the private owners of KelownaNow. I was purposefully shut out of and silenced from Kelowna’s culture as a threat towards Kelowna’s professional and pristeen tourist orientated brand. Kelowna’s culuture has become a tourist brand. I was made invisible by sexual prejudice, ignorance and going by Laurie’s videos.. hate.

Looking in retrospect at Kelowna’s culture; it is culture based on wealth and the accumulation of wealth; as Kelowna tried to paint me over with shades of grey to make me invisible as a part from the culture or IMAGE they wish to create and brand, Kelowna is grey or bland in it’s culture as it steals from other cultures what it feels is culturally safe and acceptable- but isn’t this just the Canadian way of the arts in general? What is Canadian culture but a washed out version of American or US culture? And we wonder why Candian artist can’t make a go of it in Canada?

I was the biggest feminist in Kelowna but Kelowna effectively phased me out by overwhelming me and my children through me by it’s overt prejudice towards me. But my children and I are slowly loosing our Kelowna Culture wash; my kids are not feeling the need to be overly competative or to dress to impress others, and I am finding peace and solitude in the countryside. It is all slowly fading to grey.

I learned that I never needed to be in Kelowna to pursue my arts and feminist activism and that I would never of met anyone in that culture due to how they would be washed by that culture into seeing me through prejudice. I learned that I am unique and special, special enought to stand out from the crowd and make it on my own an on my own terms..and by make it, I mean being me and doing what I love. I can share and educate here through my own creations.

Open Letter to the Canadian RCMP

Update – soon after sending this email and posting this to my blog I was called by the police inspector and given a verbal apology.
This is a modified email that I sent out the Vernon Police Inspector
I don’t expect any action from the police due to the fact that it is clearly a boy’s club. Just going by my own personal experiences thought my life and by seeing how other women around me, including my own mother have been treated by the RCMP I am expecting no real justice.
Reading the popular media, in the last year a Canadian judge told a rape victim in court that she should of just kept her legs together and just recently a female officer quit her job of 14 years of trying to educate the male force towards sexual harassment and discrimination. The female officer quit her job due to sexual harassment and discrimination. Clearly this is a boy’s club and obviously my complaints and my story will be covered up.
Inspector ********* left me a phone message saying that Cost. ******** who delivered the letter to me for the gym owner Peter ******** was inappropriate but he is a young officer so he didn’t really know any better. This is clearly an excuse. As an officer of the law it is his duty to be impartial and to serve the law not the boy’s club at Peter’s gym. It is the duty of the police force to protect me as a woman against sexual discrimination and harassment, not to further harass me for the retired police officer Len; who not only asked me how much for sexual favors but it was his and the owner’s intention to scare me out of the unisex area and out of the gym, so that they could continue to further discriminate against other female members without being held accountable. The owner’s language and those of his friends that participate, is the language of hate speech. Peter clearly stated in the video that he wanted the guys down stairs to be able to talk about what ever they wanted, that includes bashing other religions, races, cultures, gays and women. Clearly this is against human rights and this man shouldn’t be able to legally run a business that is based on discrimination and harassment of those who don’t meet his personal specifications. Peter should not have a business licence and should not be serving the public as we all know hate speech and discrimination cause hate crimes like what just happened in Quebec.
If I as a woman, cannot give a statement to the RCMP about sexual harassment with out the police coming back onto me, in my home, invading my personal life and privacy; how than can any woman report even more serious crimes like rape?
The police have terrorized me. I don’t feel safe in my own home. The date rape that I buried subconsciously has now risen to the surface of my awareness; and I am experiencing emotionally all the effects of deep trauma. I am so glad that I did not report my date rape to the police here in Armstrong BC, six years ago as I am sure I would of been blamed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had physical injuries due to the rape but I am sure it would of been written off by the police as just rough sex. It seems to me that the police protect men and their reputations over women and their rights to be treated with respect and dignity.
After Constable ******** left me with the letter and his horrible condescending attitude of threatening me with arrest should I trespass back into the gym, I was left feeling hopeless and suicidal. I felt and I was punished by the police for daring to make a statement of sexual harassment and sexual discrimination against a retired police officer and a male gym owner. Obviously these men are of more importance to the police and to the law than I am as a woman. Obviously it is criminally offensive for a woman to dare to stand up to sexual harassment and obviously female police officers find the same fate within the system.
We are living in very sad and sorrowful times are we not?
Inspector ********* has left a message with me as has Les ****** of the Enderby police department. I have returned their messages but I have not been called back.
It would be just and right if the police gave me a public apology towards their own actions of not following proper procedure instead of making excuses and attempting to bury it under red tape and paper work. I think that the intent is that I will give up hope and drop it, and that I will just get on with my life. It seems to me the intention is to rip away my self worth and to induce hopelessness so that the matter doesn’t have to be properly addressed by the RCMP.
Going by what is happening Canada wide and by the tone of how the world treats women and their rights.. I am sure all women will be continued to be treated as property and second class citizens. It doesn’t seem to matter if you live by the letter of the law, pay your taxes and respect authority as clearly male based authority doesn’t respect women in general.
I have put ********* into the names to protect privacy and so that the law doesn’t once again come back onto me. I am publishing this to protect myself should the police further discriminate against me as retaliation or punishment, and to also show the truth should the gym owner have members make up false stories to cover himself.

Keeping The Wild Vagina’s Free

 

As we all know those who love to practice misogyny don’t want to see vagina’s owning themselves and running free to cause rebellion and havoc upon a perfectly constructed society based on male rule and the worship of the penis. I found this out just recently at a local redneck gym ran by a redneck and his male friends. It turns out that these guys want to see women working out to create a body that is perfect for the male gaze or judgment vs for their own health or athletic standards; you see that would mean those sweaty vagina’s would be free and we can’t have that. We can’t have that because then it would impact these men to the point of  having to please someone other than themselves; and god forbid that they would actually have to figure out how to bring a woman to orgasm and finally be forced to figure out just were the effing clitoris is actually located. You see vagina’s that are held in captivity by the ownership of a husband or boyfriend are just existing for the pure sake of male penetration and for the male orgasm which must come first ( pun intended ) cum first.. get it? So that is why vagina’s have penetration pricing; that is how you make a wild vagina into a tame vagina because of such low pay placed on to those with wild vagina’s the vagina must submit to male ownership by relationship or marriage so that the vagina can afford the basics for survival. If you give the vagina treats such as a nice wedding, diamond rings, and shopping trips with the odd holiday get-away thrown in than you are able to domesticate the wild vagina into the ways of organized misogyny. Wild vagina’s like mine are considered a threat by the Gang Of Misogyny because they can tempt the other domesticated vagina’s back into the wild by their love of rebellion and vibrators.

The wild vagina is free to think thoughts of it’s own as it doesn’t have a male owner constantly yapping and brainwashing misogynistic dogma and threats at it, that cause it to undermine it’s patterns of free flowing thoughts towards things like running it’s own business and writing disgusting ( fun ) blog post like this. The wild vagina will lead the domestic and tamed vagina’s into thoughts of rebelling against it’s male master by demanding that it’s orgasmic needs must be met before male penis penetration or ejaculation, the wild vagina is the black sheep of the domestic vagina and it will cause the tame vaginas to wander outside of the male boundaries or fences placed around them to keep them in the kitchen baking apple pies, knitting and thinking about having yet another baby to fill their craving for the freedom of the unknown.

The wild vagina is the newly divorced friend of your wife or girlfriend; or her sister that refuses to settle down, when she comes a knocking she awakens the rebel within your woman causing her to think her own thoughts, want her own way. She manages to get her to recall her dreams that she put aside so that you could make your dreams top priority. The wild vagina is a gypsy that dances in the middle of the night with a bottle of wine in hand talking back to those men who tell her to be more lady like.. and she seduces the tame and domesticated vagina’s to want to run free into the night. She encourages the domesticated and collared vaginas to want to orgasm and explore what is deep within the creamy swells of her own thighs.. and the misogynist thinks ” What if she finds out her vibrator can give her more satisfaction that I can and those bible verses are all bullshit that I use to keep her chained to an ideal of womanhood that is based on just the pleasure of men.. what if she starts to seek out her own pleasure and thoughts?”

And so the misogynist chase away the rebellious and free vagina’s to keep the white sheep in the corral and in the kitchen.. they call the wild vaginas sluts, whores and fornicators.

Off into the night the wild vagina goes with the free ass dude on his Harley that knows never to tame the wild vagina’s because they are the best kind.

For the dumb ass people who don’t get this post it is pure sarcasm. It is to show the stupidity of society when it comes to women’s sexuality, as to how threatening single women can be treated and judged by scared and ignorant men as well as jealous women who have internalized male misogyny by being constantly brainwashed by misogynistic dogma or even religion. 

Keep the vagina’s wild and free my friends and to those domesticated vagina’s you know how much you love your gypsy friends.

Spiritual Ego Persona

 

The spiritual ego persona is the branding of a person or persona towards the marketing of a spiritual practice. Examples of spiritual practices – yoga, meditation, reciting and creating mantras, fasting or vegan diets, prayer, sweat lodges, spiritual retreats, readings and vision quests. The marketing of these practices turns the spiritual practice into dogma and even into fundamentalist beliefs and perspectives. Spiritual practices are meant to be given by a spiritual teacher towards helping the seeker find away towards breaking negative and destructive patterns of behavior. Spiritual practices are meant to be uniquely crafted by the spiritual teacher for the seeker so that they can make their specific unconscious patterns of behavior conscious, or raise them up towards the surface of awareness to be healed.

I am writing this because I am seeing an online trend towards just about anyone picking up a deck of tarot cards or oracle cards and doing live videos on Facebook, then projecting a spiritual ego persona that is leading people away from true awareness and  spiritual health. I was working for a YouTube famous astrologer who had a media lady take over her marketing. I learned through her trying to create a spiritual persona for me, to market me, just how fake spiritual marketing can be. It is dangerous. Many people who are hired by people like this media lady are often just as misguided as the people they are selling their guidance to. I was hired by the astrologer before the media lady came on board, and because I wouldn’t lie I was soon phased out and given no promotion by her and so I quit to go and work on my own; choosing to release myself from the negative energy. The people that her media specialist chose to hire after she phased out the many like myself that had a true talent and connection to a higher place; well they are desperate people who are willing to be puppets of manipulation just for money. I am sorry to tell you that many spiritualists and readers online have a persona and are willing to sell you endless readings leading you in circles just to keep you paying for more.

I recently had a client tell me I was wrong in one of my readings, she was upset. I told her the truth ” I am wrong sometimes because I am a human being. I am not a guru but I do have a natural talent and high intuition.” but many of the fake spiritualist online will tell you they are 100% accurate all the time. I see people as paying for my time and my 90% accuracy and so that is why my rates are affordable. A reader or spiritualist cannot affect your free will or the free will of others, we can only tell you what our guides and the cards show us.

And so as synchronicity would have it,  as I was thinking about writing this post I asked my guides and angels to help me find more information towards confirming my thoughts and towards helping me explain myself, or to clarify. I came upon a page on Facebook called Tantra where they posted a video bite from Stephen Wollinsky called ( Nothing comes from Nothing ) on Youtube, were he was talking about the spiritual traps or the illusions of spirituality, then by comments they sent me to the full video, that is just over 2 hrs long. I took some short notes on what I gathered from him and his wisdom to share with you.

The spiritual ego or persona perpetuates the need for perfection or purity for the sake of lifestyle or trends, as to how you look, the clothes you wear, how you act or behave that leads one more towards the material world than awareness.

Spirituality or the trap of being caught in spiritual practices for the sake of ego persona leads to ego illusion instead of towards the nothingness or absolute. Spirituality becomes a game and it leads to dogma and manipulations when practiced through a persona rather than as a path towards higher paths that lead to the state of zen, that brings us to the absolute or cosmic mind.

The place of zen or the way towards the cosmic mind is through the paradox of ( I am and I am not ) ( There is everything and there is nothing ) it is the space between the breaths or the cracking of an atom.

False Gurus or spiritual teachers are about who they are rather than about who you are, they are about you following their spiritual personification or ego rather than helping you find the right path towards becoming your own Guru or awareness.

Real Gurus are not popular because they practice the zen of being within the paradox; not being within their personifications. They know I am and I am not. I real spiritual leader or teacher will not sell you instant gratification or glamour, they will not sell you on sugar coated words; a real Guru will crack your ego personifications wide open. A real Guru or teacher will show you the unconscious parts of your soul and help you expose them to the light. There is nothing glamorous and glitzy about the real teachers.

A false Guru or teacher traps you with spiritual games such as dogma and guilt trips; a real Guru sets you free.

We also see some that preach about manifestation, really preaching about desire that promotes lack rather than abundance as it draws our attention to what we don’t have, rather than gratitude. Some abundance manifestation is really the greed of the material world rather than seeking the abundance of love and health as well as worldly wealth. Some abundance manifestation practices can lead us to attachment rather than awareness and true enlightenment.

The awakened do not desire through the perception of the ego for there is nothing to desire in a world of illusion but to become aware and conscious of the dream or illusion.

The dangers of New Age Marketing is that it is leading us away from the soul’s journey, and towards more ego density or desire.

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