Never Give Up

I finally was given an appointment to meet a Business Advisor at Women’s Enterprise Center.. below are the questions I emailed to them upon request by them as they said this was their standard.
I was met by an older woman who sounded very much like Barbra Walters.. I was lead to an impressive boardroom filled with a huge boardroom table were I was asked to have a seat. My questions were then gone over..and quite simply this is what our meeting amounted to.. I could not be successful without learning about my target market.. of course I needed to network to do this; and in order for me to educate women and men on the subject to women’s sexuality and equality I had to be able to find speaking venues through these networking organizations that I have been shut out of.. to do this “conundrum” as Dawn McCooey .. my Business Advisor called it.. I was indeed between a rock and hard place and success would not be found for me without these resources that were being denied me. I learned that I did not have enough personal equity ..as I needed 30% down to invest into a loan before I could get one..since I have no resources as I have poured them into my book and website.. I cannot get a business loan through them myself and since I have no family to lend me the equity I am screwed towards getting a loan..also there are no grants available for me. And so it seems as Gloria Steinem has said ” Most women are one man away from a welfare check” meaning that if you don’t have a husband or 2 incomes you as women can’t amount to much financially on her own.. point proven here in my life experience.
I was asked why I had not met these people face to face before coming to the conclusions that I had.. I then went on to tell her about my meeting with Joel Young of the Okanagan Valley Entrepreneurs Society..about how he had asked me..if I came to my book and work because my father must have fucked me. I told her how he had said this over and over to me, in front of my 5 year old little boy who was with us at the meeting .. I told her this trying so hard to cry..but I was not successful … I did weep, but I managed not to go into the ugly cry. I told her about meeting with Bonita Kay Summers of Spirit Kelowna.. how she had defined the world WHORE to me.. how she told me how inappropriate I was for Kelowna Women in Business due to my overt sexuality and pictures on my website..
Dawn McCooey my Business Advisor at this meeting then asked me a question ..she said ” Due to all the personal pain this has caused you are you ready to move on with your life and see this as just a hobby?” She then told me that my book and my work on sacred sexuality and freeing women from social sexual shame were not wanted in my community and that I should think about just accepting that..she told me that Women`s Enterprise Center did not network with Kelowna Women in Business ,,when clearly on their website they name then as one of their networking organizations..
After all of the grief and the heartache and outright bullying that I have been through with these people she chided me like I was a child for questioning their motives towards me.. I questioned if her organization was as prejudice as the others I have dealt with..she asked me if my attitude was getting me anywhere networking as if I was a bad irresponsible child.. I then asked her if she had listened to what they had done to me.. I told her I went into meetings with them innocent and open to being treated like and equal and with the respect that I treated them with from the start..but instead I was abused and prejudiced against due to my work on sexuality..
Of course I am jaded now!
Dawn McCooly did not look at my book..and when I showed her my artistic erotic photography in the book by offering up the book to her myself..she said she thought my book was pornography…
As we concluded the meeting I told her that I had come away with nothing.. no mentorship, no financial help.. no other networking opportunities.. I then told her that the Human Rights Claim that I filed was my only hope as they had offered me none..she asked me how I hoped to network with in these organizations with the bad blood between us.. I told her that it was not about revenge.. I only wanted to be treated as an equal and receive equal opportunity.. and I told her what has happened here and what has been happening all along is exactly why this is not a hobby..this is exactly why I have to pursue this until I am dead.. my story is every woman`s  story of inequality.. I will not give up.
My questions.
1. How do I network in Kelowna effectively when I am shut out by Kelowna Women In Business and Okanagan Valley Entrepreneurs Society. I had emailed KWIB and was ignored. I have messaged them on facebook and have been ignored. I have sent them my phone # and I have been ignored. I have paid online for a full membership to OVES and I have not received an online News Letter as to when and were their events are being held. Rae Stonehouse who is the chairman of OVES also runs Toastmasters he has been exceedingly rude to me via email. It is very obvious that he has no respect for me as a person or a professional.. so how am I supposed to network though these organizations that I have filed a Human Rights Complaint towards..that is still pending?
2. How do you and your organization define networking?
3. What grants, loans or funds are available to me through your organization and how do access them quickly and correctly to maximize my potential in being as successful as possible.
4. How do I make my way through the prejudice in society and through these networking organizations such as yours .. how can I educate people towards a more mature way of looking at, and understanding women’s sexuality.. to help abolish the shame a taboos placed upon women?
5. Where and how can I find a venue to launch my book and Goddess work into our social networks?
6. Can you see me as not being a threat because I am offering and teaching something that is new and different?
7. How long to I have to wait to see a Business Advisor? What is the normal waiting period?
8. How can I make my website and online profile more mainstream?
9. Will you advise me on how to be more professional and business minded? I truly need help.
10. How do I start an organization and group of my own.. to help women become more free and expressive in their creativity and sexuality..to empower women through the expression of their true nature and femininity?
11. Since you network with KWIB do you also find me offensive are you bias in your views of me due to how other networking organizations in our community have treated me?
12. I need a speaking venue to spread the message of my work.. how do I do this in our community if I have been shut out of the networking organizations?
I have contacted by phone message Western Economic Diversification Canada with my concerns.. due to the fact that you network with the organizations that have seemingly black listed me I want to make sure that your organization will be professional upon your dealings with me.
  • anonymous

    Perhaps the reason why you keep coming upon closed doors is because you’re not offering anything interesting. Your writing is very poor, your photographs are unsightly and you have a repetitive theme about how everyone else is to blame for your troubles. You may keep saying over and over (ad nauseum) about how you are self reflecting and becoming empowered, but nothing seems to change. I have read many of your blogs and the common theme is that people aren’t open minded, people hate a strong woman, people are just jealous………Give me a break! I may be wrong but, if you are only 1/4 of how you seem to perceive yourself, doors should be flying open for you. Maybe it’s only how you present yourself? If you love how you are, don’t change anything, but if you want to market yourself you need to change everything. In the meantime stop throwing out good money with the bad and get a real job.

    • http://twitter.com/goddessofsacred Gracie Ackerman

      I have the courage and the guts to be who I say I am.. unlike you anonymous.. like that takes guts.. creeping someones blog just to leave a nasty message..your an asshole..but I guess it takes all kinds doesn’t it?

      • anonymous

        It’s actually “you’re” an asshole, but as a “writer” I’m sure that must have been an oversight, because anyone who is literate would know the difference. I think you need to look up ignorant in the dictionary because I don’t believe you know what the definition is. I am educated, have a great deal of knowledge and am judging you solely on the information YOU have provided publicly about yourself. If you’re not willing to learn from criticism stop blogging and get a real fucking job. Sometimes it’s better to be an anonymous asshole than a public moron. ( I’m not sure you will get the sarcasm, but you’re the moron)

        • http://twitter.com/goddessofsacred Gracie Ackerman

          My 13 year old daughter and I were talking about your last comment..she said something very wise for her age ” They are thinking about you mom, your getting under her skin, and that is a good thing.. your making them think” A few of my friends read your last comment as well..and they all think you sound like a very bitter woman..both sexes came to that conclusion.. but thanks for the entertainment value.

          • anonymous

            It’s YOU’RE, please get it right for once in your life. There is a big difference between your and you’re, loose and lose, they’re, their and there. Again, anyone who is literate would know that. You can tweet or facebook my comments all you like (I’m guessing they’re not word for word), I don’t care. How many of those “friends” would drop what they were doing and have a cup of coffee with you? I’m thinking…….hmmmmm…….none.

            Your daughter does seem very wise, she must get that from her father. It’s funny that you think I’m a woman. It must be because I critiqued that any negative comment you get you think people are jealous or that I thought your photos are unsightly. I am a man, my dear, and I will swing my dick if necessary.

          • anonymous

            My wife is an empowered woman and I take offense with you calling yourself that. Before the age of 30, my wife was a widow, she had four children under the age of 10. She had no life insurance, no alimony, no house to sell, no education and no child support. She certainly did not have the luxury of having a father to her children to see them every two weeks. Within ten years she became a PHD candidate and now holds her doctorate in Psychology
            You are not an empowered or strong woman. You are a snivelling child. For the love of God and your children, please stop being a facade of a woman and get a real job! Nobody cares about your shitty blog

          • http://twitter.com/goddessofsacred Gracie Ackerman

            If you don’t care about my blog than stop commenting; if you don’t like what I have to say stop reading; if you don’t like my grammar stop reading; if you don’t like my pictures stop looking. If you want credibility comment with your real name. Until then you could be anyone saying whatever.. I suggest you get on with your life, Stop bullying me..and get some professional help from your supposed wife..

          • Blessings

            Funny I have tried to follow you Gracie with an open mind. But here is the thing, you may not realize it you are a hypocrit. You post about empowerment for women and being recognized and appreciated for what you are. You write and post pictures of men are attracted to you sexually and not what you want as a deep loving relationship yet you post very sexual pictures….yet you also post very sexual photos of men after you berate them for only seeing you as sexual. You put yourself out there not as a women driven to provide for her children…you are more concerned that your home is close to the gym and that you did not get to work out for 2 hours. Excuse me but show me any powerful, respected, empowered woman who has the time to work out for 2 hours a day. Funny you ask for comments and criticism yet when you get it it becomes bullying. You put it out for society to see then you better be able to take the criticism. Do you think that your work is so special that it cannot be seen as faulty? Everyone has tough circumstances, the most empowered people of all time were not passive and aggressive and totally blame their situation on the actions of others……I do not think that Mother Teresa went around and bitched and blamed others for her choice to assist the poor. Read some of the stuff you post from other sources or do you just post it because it sounds good.It seems that your effort has thrown you under the bus sometimes we all struggle……you are ignorant in your self-loathing somedays and your hate towards those that offer opinions clearly demonstrates that perhaps you should get into the real workforce where you can learn that empowerment encompasses alot more that what you present and think it may be and earn equity to get a loan……really women do that you know….work hard at a job then come home and write a book…really…..in the real world….blessings…. by the way I am a woman, highly educated..paid for by myself with student loans I paid back…..and a single mom….and I am still educating myself…

          • http://twitter.com/goddessofsacred Gracie Ackerman

            If you expect me to be like Mother Teresa..than why are you not like her..why are you judging me saying I am a Hypocrite.. seriously your being one yourself..and still no real identity.. weird

          • http://www.facebook.com/chris.richards.104 Chris Richards

            Gracie, you should be honored. You have two very avid fans here. Granted, they are both off their meds, but you should be pleased that they have taken the time to “follow” your blogs, read your facebook, obviously discuss your viewpoints and follow your every move, Good God girl, you have your very own personal paparrazzi,

            Now unfortunately, avid though they may be, they are also anal retentive, opinionated and lacking in courage. They lack the courage to do what you have done. They have no idea what it is like to bare your soul to the world for everyone else to see. They have no idea what it is like to struggle with self expression amid opinionated anal retentive scared people. They can’t come up with a single viable criticism so they attack your spelling. You must have rolled on the floor laughing.

            Your pictures are beautiful, I have told you that many times before. And I DO admire the courage it took to do thise photo shoots. You have been through much in your life Gracie and if you take all those negative experiences, and line them up one after the other, it almost seems to much to bear, but the reality is, those things only made you stronger. And more importantly, there were more positive experiences in between all of those that bring the meaning and structure.

            As for you two, attacking Gracie as a mother, wow, you are going to hell for that one…..I have no other friend on Facebook who spends more time with her kids than Gracie and loves them as deeply as she does. Her FB is open, go into her photos, skip the eroticism if it offends you, go to the pictures of the laughing, happy, well adjusted kids. They are not hard to find, there are hundreds of them.

            Finally, Gracie is no Mother Teresa, but neither is she the brazen slut you so desperately want to portray her as. I laughed so hard when I read your comments about her posting sensual pictures of men and women with inspirational quotes. I post pictures of my dog but I am not into beastiality, I post pictures of my grandson, does that make me a pedophile?

            Are you so truly offended by these images? I see beauty, everywhere I go because I look for it, The most bizarre comments that you put forth were attacking her for going to the gym? Still shaking my head at that one, Gracie, shame on you for trying to take care of yourself, all that exercise, what the hell are you thinking? Also, you have some nerve, finding the balance in your life that enables you to do that, It is a shame they don’t allow public floggings anymore, you would be a prime candidate…..

            Gracie, don’t change a thing about who you are, unless you desire that change, Certainly not for these two scared little people. Oh and sorry folks, feel free to correct my spelling, grammar and prose…And just to defeat your next tirade, I am not sleeping with Gracie. In fact, I have never met her. I just admire and respect the hell out of her.

            Oh, and one last thing, look what is at the bottom of the post…..MY NAME !!!

          • http://twitter.com/goddessofsacred Gracie Ackerman

            I have no words Chris.. just a big heartfelt thank you and tears of gratitude.. your wife is a very blessed woman indeed..thank you my friend <3

          • anonymous

            Wow, give your head a shake. You can spend time searching for IP addresses, but you will not spend the time to take constructive critisism. I agree that my comments have been out of anger, only because of what my wife has overcome. It means so much more because of the hardship she has had to endure and the amazing things she has accomplished without bitching or blaming and I feel that I have to fight for her strength when you complain about nothing in comparison. I will take her advice and stop wasting time and emotions on you. She said to me “remember the old adage, Who is the bigger fool? The fool or the one who argues with them.”

            That being said, I feel the need to address some things. I have no idea who “blessings” is, but her comments have been much more kinder than mine and you have still not botherered to take in what she has had to say. You call it bullying when it clearly isn’t. If you were an empowered woman you would understand the difference. You can make up things in your mind and we can add delusional and paranoid to the list of what I believe you are afflicted with.

            Many of us have had hardships to deal with in our lives. I am no exception. I grew up with a single mother that was a heroin abuser. She lost her life to an overdose when I was 12 years old and had to deal with abuse within foster homes until I was 18. I have great sympathy and I certainly understand the difficulties that surround childhood traumas, but if you hold onto that for all of your life and use that as an excuse, you will always be a failure.
            I have a beautiful life now. It has been my own creation and other than this comment I haven’t whined or complained about how I got here once. If I were to create a blog it would be about everything that is positive. I’m sure you have beautiful, wonderful and amazing children. Just remember that they will live what they learn and if you share with them anything that is negative that is all they will remember. This is my last comment because I will no longer give you the attention that you are so craving.

          • http://twitter.com/goddessofsacred Gracie Ackerman

            Your the one craving attention; I gave it to you by tweeting your comments and posting them on facebook.. hope that satisfies your ego and entertains my readers.

          • http://twitter.com/goddessofsacred Gracie Ackerman

            This seems like a head game from some very twisted people or just one person.. you need help

          • http://twitter.com/goddessofsacred Gracie Ackerman

            These messages are coming from 2 different email addresses I traced IP one of you is from Prince George and you are from Salmon Arm.. I think you are both spiteful women working together.. I wonder why you want me to give up so badly? What is the emotional investment to you? Why does my website, book and opinions matter so much to you? Are you from one of the networking organizations that I filed a human rights complaint against? I make you feel threatened somehow .. I have to ..this is why you are trying to make me feel threatened because I put fear into you. Hmm are you really that weak and transparent?

          • http://twitter.com/goddessofsacred Gracie Ackerman

            Let me tell you who I am
            I am the one who survived a childhood of intense abuse.. my first memories are of being beaten and seeing my mother and my siblings being beaten.. I survived that!
            Before my mother killed herself because the voices in her schizophrenic brain told her to.. I stopped her twice .. I was only 12 and I just turned 13 when she managed to hang herself in a mental hospital by her PJs.. I blamed myself for years because I was not there to protect her from herself. I survived that!
            I went into the foster care system were I was further abused..and then into an abusive relationship with a man that drank to much..
            I survived that!
            I put myself through college and it was in college were the finally found out that I had mild dyslexia.. but I still managed through the years to educate myself..and become further self educated by studying and reading on my own.. I still do
            I then married a man that I was not perfect enough for..and he abused me with money and constant name calling..he topped his abuse by having an affair on me while I was pregnant with our son…our 3rd child.. he is till with her and he attempts whenever he can to abuse me by using money or using visiting the children..
            I AM STILL HERE!
            As I am typing this my daughter is talking to me., my son wants me to make popcorn..etc.. I am always busy as a mother even when working on my computer..
            Thing is this.. I have never claimed to be perfect if anything I am perfectly broken and self mended many times over.. and I continue to do this even through your mental and emotional abuse of playing with my head and emotions when you are not even decent enough to use your real identity.. what I do here on my blog and website.. on my twitter and facebook takes intense courage and vulnerability ..something you just don’t seem capable of understanding.. I can’t stand the idea of being perfect.. I can’t stand the idea of trying to prove myself to anyone of you. I am who I am .. I never ever want to be you. I have no interest in trying to compete with you. Quite frankly I don’t give a damn what you think..and one thing I love about myself is that I will never be boring .. and secondly.. you tell me I can’t I will show you I can..and thirdly I WILL NEVER GO QUIETLY.. I will kick and scream the entire way.. one of the things no one has ever been able to do to me is to break my spirit.. ALL IT DOES IS MAKE ME MORE DETERMINED AND STRONGER.. KEEP IT COMING!

          • http://twitter.com/goddessofsacred Gracie Ackerman

            I have been publishing your comments word for word and leaving them here as a testament ..

        • http://twitter.com/goddessofsacred Gracie Ackerman

          I tweeted your comment again.. people find it entertaining ..thanks

        • http://twitter.com/goddessofsacred Gracie Ackerman

          Actually I feel sorry for you; that you are so full of anger, judgment and bitterness that you feel the need to attempt to place your negative, dark energy on me. I guess you need some place to set it down, someone to take it out on.. it must be wearisome and exhausting for you to carry all that hate inside of your heart.

    • http://twitter.com/goddessofsacred Gracie Ackerman

      I just put your comment up on my facebook and tweeted it.. you just help to raise awareness towards ignorance and hate.. thanks for that ;)

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