Archive for October, 2014

A sexy feminist?

 

Men don’t divorce or separate themselves from their sexuality to be seen as appropriate or professional; actually a man who shows his wealth and financial status by wearing an expensive suit is seen as very sexual and desirable.. not only is he sexual and desirable but he is seen as dependable, dominating, powerful and in control. Men’s sexuality is celebrated by society; no matter what the situation or circumstances a man is in; his sexuality and masculinity are a part of who he is.. and of course there isn’t anything wrong with that.. this is a man walking in confidence and living in his wholeness of who he is.. but for women it is totally the opposite..

Women are not taken seriously if they are sexual or seen as sexy in the office; right away this is viewed as manipulation or attention seeking behavior because women are taught through religion and media that we are responsible for male sexual advances due to the way we dress, by our body language, by our words and actions; making men not responsible for sexual harassment. These attitudes and beliefs have caused rape culture thinking world wide.. and for many feminist to be taken seriously in the male professional world, they have divorced their sexuality.. in doing so they have actually dis-empowered themselves instead of empowering themselves and that is exactly why the feminist movement stalled in the 1970s; because women lost themselves. As women we are still tying to guess as to what he wants; we are still moving in a male world by male rules for the fear of sexual assault and or harassment because men feel and have been taught to feel entitled to sexually harass or assault women who do not follow the dress code or codes of appropriate sexual conduct. Not only do men impose these rules of sexual conduct onto women but other women including feminist impose them onto other women who are misbehaving; as I have been told by other feminist and professional women that I will never be taken seriously by them for being sexual in my book; for being a sexual woman speaking about sexuality.. and that is why Dr. Ruth is to be taken seriously, she isn’t in her sexual prime or being sexual herself.. she is clinical, she has credentials.. but I am a threat. But by women seeing other women as sexual competition or as a threat; they take away the power of the sister hood.. and with that the boys’ club mentality reins supreme in our society worldwide ..as media has induced women to view other women .. as a threat.

The point that I am trying to make is this; until women marry their sexuality the will never be as powerful as men in society; ever! Until women stop playing this stupid social game with men in modern first world countries like Canada.. the undeveloped world will not stand a chance. Women have to make men accountable for their behavior by having the confidence and courage to walk freely in their skin; by not shaming other women; by loving and accepting their bodies, by not comparing themselves to other women; and by not putting up with men comparing them and trading them up.. we are objectified as women because we too objectify each other. Imagine if women united and showed up in the work place as they are; we are not responsible for his inability not to keep his head in his work.. he is responsible for himself.

The reason chivalry died.. it’s because every time a man buys a woman something or does something for a woman he is taught by society that he has some right to her.. he is entitled to her time; energy, or body. The reason it died is because the tables are turning..or leveling out.. but the next big step in feminism is for women to actually be as feminine as they want to be; by that I mean that some women are more masculine.. and by that I mean a woman should be whatever she wants to be..

Divorcing our sexuality so that we can take part in male power based society only gave that more power.. for true equality to happen it begins with authenticity; with the freedom of women being able to be VULNERABLE .. we as women are both strong and vulnerable. The flip side of this.. in an ultra macho society.. men have lost their ability to be tender; to be open and expressive towards tenderness; when women have the courage to make room for this, we are setting an example for male counter parts to also drop the macho hardhearted exterior; to open their hearts as well. Truly our society is actually dying because we are starving for the feminine qualities in our society; we are scorched by over macho-isms .. deadened by it.. how we need the compassion of the feminine.. how we need women to rise up into the fullness of who they are.

Please watch me on YouTube; contact me on FaceBook, Twitter, Google and Instagram .. Purchase my book ( The Goddess, an Expression of the Divine Feminine ) on Amazon.ca or in the local authors section in Chapter’s Books Kelowna BC

Why I don’t trust anyone in Kelowna

I have tried so hard to be friends with people in Kelowna.. in the business and networking community. But it seems to me that many of them are trying to find a reason to discredit me due to my website and blog.. many women from the networking community have asked me very personal questions about my sex life and my income.. as if trying to find out for gossiping purposes if I am a slut and a welfare mom. Or even if I am a whore.. like am I actually being paid for sex. Anyways the point is the hate.. it’s the absolute hatred that I have gotten from these people that is so shocking.. cruel and mean.Dayleen Van Ryswyk professed to be about helping me.. she did show up at my book signing at Chapters.. she did hold me a book signing at her own home.. but I became suspect to her intentions when she mentioned inviting Melonie Dodaro to the signing.. and I began to think ( Is she for me or against me? Is this some twisted form of entertainment for these women?) I just don’t know? I met her through Lori Welbourne’s facebook.. Lori also professed to be about my cause ( Women’s Rights and Sexual Equality ) yet Lori didn’t show up to the book signing and didn’t help me promote it.. even though she did have me on her radio show for a short bit?? As soon as Lori found out who I was by me joining her facebook and contacting her through.. Joel Young.. of all people a man who sexual harassed me.. Lori changed everything on her facebook and her videos to be about what I was about.. but never really promoting me.. yet she watched as other artist and people in the community bashed me on her facebook for being about these things.. I just don’t know what to think? I asked Lori right out why she didn’t help me more; why she turned and changed when she found out about what I was doing in our local community.. I was honest with her and asked her if she was trying to steal my thunder.. But after what Dayleen said to me on facebook.. after the fact of watching them comment on other people’s online profiles who were discriminatory against me??? I just don’t know? So I have withdrawn .. drawn my forces inward. I stopped following Lori, I obviously stopped all contact with Dayleen.. as she was intentionally cruel, using all of the things ( weaknesses that I confided to her ) to use as knives to stab me with.. I do know for sure that they are best friends.. and so it is hard not to line them up together.. for my own emotional safety.. but it isn’t just them .. no it is Kelowna’s networking society.. it is the arts community..it is Kelowna’s professionals and Kelowna’s professional women.. it is cattiness .. mean girl shit. Exactly why women have trouble breaking the glass ceiling ..they cut each other out from the ankles before they ever get that high.
  • Gracie Ackerman

    Will you and Ed please lay off about me being unemployed. It isn’t funny to me it is humiliating. Your last comment made me cry

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    No one meant to make you feel bad and were sorry if we did. On the flip side, you post about being at the beach all day and work out, then say you need a holiday from your life. To 99% of your FB friends who work crazy hours day in and day out, it’s a little much. From where we stand, your life looks like a holiday none of us can afford. You made it sound like you’re unemployed because I didn’t hire you. That made me feel bad. We like you very much and we support you immensely! Sorry if you felt like you were being ganged up on, I tried to keep it teasing not mean.

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    Dayleen you mean you and Ed work crazy hours.And my life seems like a holiday to the both of you. You cannot speak for my other Facebook friends. I don’t owe you are anyone a detailed run down of my daily life. We all have our inner and outer wars. I keep many things in my life private from my website and Facebook because it isn’t anyone’s business but mine

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    Calling me a drama queen was really hurtful. The things you both seem to be implying are hurtful. You don’t know were I have applied or the hours that I need so that i can still be with my kids. My will not p

    Awe fyck

    Fuck it whatever

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    I’m sorry you took that the wrong way. I’m supposed to understand that you are kidding but you don’t understand that I’m kidding. If you think that what you say doesn’t bother people, well, I’m not sure what to say.

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    I am sorry that you and Ed are over worked. I am sorry that you have to work so hard to pay legal bills that you shouldn’t have to pay. But it is not my fault and saying sarcastic things about me and my situation isn’t going to change that. Just like me lashing out isn’t going to change my situation. I have a lot to juggle with 3 kids and no family or financial help. I cannot go to work full time in the summer and put the burden of my 7 year old very busy son on my 2 tween and teen daughters. My ex will not pay for half the daycare with out me taking him back to court. That can take up to 6 months. Working to pay for daycare is pointless . I need a job were I can work weekends when he has the kids and 6 to 10 at night when Tyler is ready for bed and not such a hassle for my girls. It is complicated

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    But the thing is I don’t owe you or my Facebook friends an explanation about my job or financial situation that is what makes me mad. To insinuate that I am lazy hurts my feelings and is degrading. I am not a drama queen because I am passionate

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    Question, if you have no financial help. How do you live and raise a family and pay for a club membership with no job? I’m not judging, it’s just a legitimate question, because we work 7 days a week, 12-16 hours a day and it would be nice not too. Raising 3 kids by yourself is hard work and completely thankless. Before you know it, they’ll be grown and gone.

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    I just joined 888888 fitness and I am going to apply there because they are open 24/7 and it is right by were u live so I can race home to my kids if they need me

    Dayleen am not going to get into my finances with you or anyone

    I don’t think it is fair that you even ask me for an explanation as to were I get the money for my kids

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    Gracie, you seriously are reading WAY too much into what I said. You are turning something into something it isn’t. I was trying to keep it light hearted. Sorry you don’t think so. Maybe think before you post. Since you can’t seem to understand how your words come across to people.

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    Maybe it is the other way around

    Please just stop insinuating that I am lazy

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    I couldn’t give a shit where your money comes from. You miss the point vim done with this. You refuse to see how what you say effects other people. All you do it come across like a victim if anyone says anything. I have enough drama in my life!

  • Gracie Ackerman

    You, Ed, Daniel and Lori are off my Facebook now you will not be offended by my supposed victim post or how I live my life. Hope you all have a great life and I hope everything works out for all of you. No hate just done, done, done , done with people pleasing

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    After all I’ve done for you this is the thanks I get.

  • Gracie Ackerman
    Gracie Ackerman

    If letting you help me means being available for smug attacks on my character I would rather not have that friendship as I don’t see that as true friendship. I am better off on my own

  • Facebook User
    Facebook User

    People are right. You’re crazy! You’ve taken the simplest of things and made it into some attack on you. You aren’t right in the head! No one has attacked you..grow up!! Stop whining about looking after your own children, you wanted them! Get a job and get into reality. No one was against you. YOU are your own worst enemy. You’ve made sure no one likes you. You’ve made a fool of yourself. You’ve created drama where there isn’t any. You live in a fantasy world. You invite sexual advances because you present yourself as a desperate woman. You have ruined your business contacts. You have ruined your own reputation. You are completely unprofessional. You’ve made your life what it is. You are a narcissist. You need to change, your nuts..not everyone else..YOU! I put my business reputation on the line supporting you publicly and this crazy fucked up shit it the thanks I get. Grow the fuck up!!!

Appropriating Inappropriate

 

I love words, totally love them. And I love to think and be analytical.  Meaning to take something that is complicated and make it simple for others to understand… so here we go.. I have been called inappropriate for my website, book, the way I communicate online by some very appropriate people.. appropriate meaning they see themselves as suitable for the way they chose to present themselves given the occasion.. to them being conservative is the key to professionalism and success.. but of course they are not artist and free spirits.. they are comfort junkies .. a comfort junky is someone who is uncomfortable with risk; especially social risk, they don’t have the dare devil gene; and that’s ok and all; but… they cannot define people like me within their scope of understanding because it is key-holed. Meaning their scope is to see within the box..fuck they are the box! It’s like looking at an eclipse through the hole in a paper box reflected on a piece of paper for the sake of safety… people like me are the fucking eclipse.. we are the show..

 

So I am appropriating my inappropriate behavior as fucking appropriate to me.. meaning I am taking ownership of the fucking occasion because I am the fucking occasion.. appropriating – taking possession of my fucking self.. what does this fucking mean.. it means I define myself.. thanks and your welcome. This means if it helps you to view me through your key-hole to make you feel more comfortable and safe.. that’s your fucking problem.. or if you have it in you to appropriate yourself and become you own eclipse than more power to you..and it is powerful not to walk within the fences and barriers of social norms and shit just to please other people that are just as miserable as you are for not being able to shine and show their true splendor… because they are too comfortable being bored and boring.. and afraid of standing out..

 

But of course.. well I think is obvious anyway.. but I will write it down… the lesson is for women ..as Goddess stuff is what I do.. that you will always be inappropriate if your not a nice well behaved little ding-bat-eyed little mouse. Double standards and shit.. you cannot win being nice.. so ” Damned if I do, damned if I don’t, so damn it I will.” and as we all know ” Well behaved women rarely make history.”.. and if you haven’t noticed I am writing herstory.. and yes I know ” Fuck, Fucking, and Fuck it” are highly inappropriate for a nice girl..but I am a Goddess so FUCK IT!

About the games that he plays

 

I just wanna talk about the games that he plays.. how he takes what is whole to break it down.. just because… he is broken..

I wanna tell you how he is afraid to feel.. to face the emptiness he fills with brutality and cruelty.. just so he doesn’t have to cry.. I know why.. I know why.. why he plays these silly games to hide.. to hide from what he feels inside.. it’s so much easier just to fuck than it is to make love… so much easier it is for him.. conditioned as he is… to run away from a gentle touch.. as it hurts so much to look inside and not hide.. not hide from all the fears buried long ago.. long ago when he was a little boy.. and he was told he was a coward when he cried so now he hides behind guns and knives.

He hides behind the steel and the iron that he lifts to make strong on the outside… but inside he crumbles in the night.. alone with his thoughts he cannot hide.. any longer,.. and that is when he cries.. silent tears full of pride.and shame.. so much shame in having a tender heart.. so much shame in feeling everything.. that when he is given love.. when he is given compassion and a hug… he pushes away.. refusing to give way.. least the tenderness inside she should find… for if she did what would he have, to power play..to game her away..

Under all the steel, the bullets and the blades.. through the razor wire .. through the brutality and the mock cruelty is a little boy inside.. just wanting to be freed from the man in the beast..

But the closer that she gets to setting the child in him free the more he shows coldness and calculations to manipulate her away in fear.. he will do whatever it takes… pulling out his bag of tricks and snakes… anything to get her away..and off the path to his heart least it should break.. but little does he know.. and little is he aware.. that if he should let her in the pieces of his heart she will repair.. but he will not relent.. he has to win. .. he is hell bent…because he lives in the hell that he creates by not turning on the light inside of his own soul that only love can make bright..

And so it is he lets his demons out.. hell fire and brimstone .. bullets blazing, knives glazing soft exposed heart.. bruising and abusing her very soul..and her skin… he refuses to let her in… chasing her away with all it takes.. not relenting not giving in or giving her her a break from the storm within him… and so she runs to save herself from him..

And even though she grieves for the little boy inside of him.. she knows she must surrender ..it is a battle that cannot be won by either one..and so he has the field.. the swords all belong to him..and the knives and the horses and all the men.. and all the metals and power.. but even then.. the battle inside rages on inside of him.. as his heart remains broken..

Shattered and torn, red and raw..bloodied and bleeding sorrows uncried least it should shame him as not a man.. as weak as weakling.. as the boy he has abandoned that was abandoned long ago.. he sits alone… all alone..

Links