Archive for October, 2013

Me, Myself and I

 

I need a break from society.. OMG..it can be a killer.

I need a break from tying. So many things go through my head. I am really hard on myself when it comes to striving.

I can’t figure out how to get out of this bubble; I just cannot figure out how to market my book better. I can’t figure out how to get my message out to a larger audience. I cannot figure out how to work around the repressed snotty attitude in my city of Kelowna BC Canada. So many fake and repressed, plastic people here with large sticks hanging half out their asses.

But I do have virtual support. Even from those in my community that are secretly pulling  for me. They message me privately ..and they tell me that my instincts are dead on about the people in the professional community that disrespected me; and shut me out.

See the thing is; they are full of shit. That is the common denominator. They repackage self help guru ideals and try to put their own brand on it.. FAKES! They are a reflection of this city..a perfectly clear reflection of bullshit!

Going by the online conversations I have had..with people that know these people my eyes are totally opened.

http://sexassacred.com/uncategorized/phychos/

read my last blog post to catch up on the info 411  ;)

But the commonality is that they shut me out because I am original.. they are jealous.

But not only are they jealous..but if my true authenticity and originality is compared to their repackaged lies..well..that means they would be exposed and if they were to keep up the would have to change. Why would they want to change when they are managing to make a living by copying ? COPY CATS!!!  :D

What do I offer that is original ? .. it’s simple ( ORIGINAL SIN IS A LIE) sex is sacred.. the freedom of women’s sexuality will empower women worldwide..and by empowering women we empower their children and their men! I offer you.. to yourself..and I don’t need to convince people through bullshit to keep coming back to me..trying to tell them that somehow they will always need me so I can make more money off them.. nope it is a one time remedy..to freedom!

I AM NOT SELLING SNAKE OIL..

Well anyway..that’s been the learning curve for me this week..and a real eye opener.

But my problem still remains..

How do I get my message out to the world?

My book is self published

http://www.amazon.ca/The-Goddess-Expression-Divine-Feminine-ebook/dp/B00D8T3X0O

my website www.sexassacred.com

my facebook

https://www.facebook.com/gracie.ackerman1

my twitter

https://twitter.com/goddessofsacred

Linkedin

http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=164763613&trk=nav_responsive_tab_profile

Google

https://plus.google.com/115544318721519195953/posts

youtube channel

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGracieGoddess

Got any hot ideas.. let me know.

I can’t travel; as a single mother with no family for help..well my travel is very limited; as my children are young and I am on a budget.

My home city has rejected the Goddess work due to sexual and quite possibly religious prejudice.

But help me rack my brain.

Thanks ;)

 

Marriage

It seems like such a sweet thing; two people meet and decide they love each other enough to spend the rest of their lives together. But……

All the old school traditions of marriage seem to seep in.. a little at a time. Oh I started out a free woman, working along beside him at our family business..but then…

We decided to start a family and that is when the tables turned.. all of a sudden he decided he was the MAN..and he started to make decisions without me..and about me..as if he owned me and my womb..because his unborn child resided inside of me.

Soon he started to slack off.. leaving his messes for me to clean up..and all the domestic work became mine..as all of his REAL work was more important.. he was more important..as I needed to slow down due to a difficult pregnancy ..well you know.. he was doing all the real work now..and I was starting to belong to him.

Within a year.. I had no say.. it was like yelling into a dark cave as he took my voice away. He took advantage of the fact that I was busy with a baby; that I had no family, and no one to take a stand for me. He depleted me.

Next he was looking at other women; fit, younger, single, child free women and he was comparing them to me. But when I started back at the gym; when I went to the gym to take care of myself, to get my body back.. I was selfish..because of course he was doing all the real work.. I was just staying home with a baby.

Soon I was expected to let go of my dreams; as writing a book and being an artist was just silly to him; nope my dreams had to become his dreams, my interest his interest, my thoughts about him and what he wanted..and his wants were to change constantly.. there was no keeping up for me.. I was drained.. I was trapped as he had me lost in him.

He disrespected constantly; he undervalued me, he would undermine me .. he took me away from me.

He left me because I wasn’t good enough.. he left me because we had three kids and he wasn’t getting enough attention from me..because he was the biggest, whiniest, wimp.. our children are growing up but he never will…

But when he left me.. he left me to find myself again..

And I did.

Sexual Fantasy

I have been studying the psychology of sexual fantasy.. reading many blogs.. like ” Psychology Today” I found myself thinking ” These people really need to learn the art of role play.” OMG seriously stuffy shrinks. Like for instance comparing your childhood issues to your need to be dominated. Saying things like ” You learned your neediness from your relationships with your parents.” Pleeeeazzzzzze!

We need sexual fantasy because real life can be so bloody boring! And come on.. we can shrink the shit out of everything and in doing so suck the fun out of everything.

I think we want what we are told we shouldn’t have because it is just exciting; and I don’t think that if people crave some excitement in their lives that they are all messed up. And I bet anything the psychotherapist who study this ( Human Behavior) have the kinkiest sex or they need to.

We all need to take a walk on the WILD SIDE.. we all need a release from being so well behaved.. such responsible adults..we need IT!

Because we have a fantasy doesn’t even mean we want to really carry it out in our real lives; it just gets us juiced up and ready for our lovers or it helps us to initiate our own orgasm through self masturbation; all is well and healthy with that. We may want to explore the fantasy with a lover, someone that we feel we can trust and who will understand our need for sexual exploration. What often happens is that the actual act in reality doesn’t live up to the fantasy. The fantasy is a magical, wonderful place that we all go to alone. The fantasy is ours to own, to master, and to explore.

Fantasy is a internal landscape within the soul; and also a map to our own bodies erogenous zones; it all begins in the mind; it is a manifestation of our true reality. Our bodies react to the fantasy as if it is actually happening..this is the magic of the fantasy. The fantasy is our own delicious, sensual break from every day mundane reality. There is nothing sick or twisted here; as long as it doesn’t hurt you our anyone else, there is no harm done. I am not addressing necrophilia or pedofiles as these are obvious sicknesses. I am addressing bondage, rape fantasy, gang bangs, men wearing women’s underpants and clothing, gay sex, bisexual sex, strap- on dildos.. etc.. the type of fantasies that will cause shrinks to go “Hmmmmmm” as they lean forward to say ” Tell me about your relationship with your mother.” Those are the great fantasies.. and they probably want to hear them so they themselves can get secretly juiced up and ready before bed.

The point is we need our sexual fantasies so that we can learn to navigate through a crazy, stressful reality.. we need the imaginary to keep us sane. We need our erotica, or role playing, or toys, costumes, props and just plain talking dirty as our way of fucking reality before it fucks us.

Marilyn Manson – beautiful people

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ypkv0HeUvTc

And I don’t want you and I don’t need you
Don’t bother to resist, or I’ll beat cha
It’s not your fault that you’re always wrong
The weak ones are there to justify the strong

The beautiful people, the beautiful people
It’s all relative to the size of your steeple
You can’t see the forest for the trees
You can’t smell your own shit on your knees

There’s no time to discriminate,
Hate every motherfucker
That’s in your way

Hey you, what do you see?
Something beautiful, something free?
Hey you, why you trying to be mean?
You live with apes man, it’s hard to be clean

The worms will live in every host
It’s hard to pick which one they eat most

The horrible people, the horrible people
It’s as anatomic as the size of your steeple
Capitalism has made it this way,
Old-fashioned fascism will take it away

Hey you, what do you see?
Something beautiful, something free?
Hey you, why you trying to be mean?
You live with apes man, it’s hard to be clean

There’s no time to discriminate,
Hate every motherfucker
That’s in your way

Hate! [x8]

The beautiful people
The beautiful people (aahh)
The beautiful people
The beautiful people (aahh)
The beautiful people
The beautiful people (aahh)
The beautiful people
The beautiful people (aahh)

Hey you, what do you see?
Something beautiful, something free?
Hey you, why you trying to be mean?
You live with apes man, it’s hard to be clean

Hey you, what do you see?
Something beautiful, something free?
Hey you, why you trying to be mean?
You live with apes man, it’s hard to be clean

The beautiful people, the beautiful people
The beautiful people, the beautiful people
The beautiful people, the beautiful people
The beautiful people, the beautiful people
The beautiful people


FUCK EM

I don’t even need to concentrate to write this; my kids are up running around still, dryer is running in the background etc.. I had this conversation with a friend of mine today.. my answer to her questions was “FUCK EM” “Fuck all the people that judge you before they know you, and fuck em for judging you still, fuck all the people that fucked you over, fuck the people that lied, that ripped you off, that bailed on you when you needed them.. don’t give them a fucking second thought..fuck em!”

 

You have to say fuck em; before it fucks you, that negative energy, the unfairness and the cruelty; because if you don’t fucking let it go they will have the final say and they will continue to fuck you over every single day..so say..

 

People will bring you their baggage and fucking unpack it on your head, they will unpack it into your fucking head if you let them; the will kick you when your down..  the people that do this are the ones that are fucked up.

Many wear thick social masks, pretending to be good social citizens, and even psychopaths- Psychopathy (/sˈkɒpəθi/) (or sociopathy (/ˈssiəˌpæθi/)) is a personality trait or disorder characterised partly by enduring anti-social behavior, a diminished capacity for empathy or remorse, and poor behavioral controls.[1] 

masquerading as (psycho)therapist Psychotherapy is a general term referring to therapeutic interaction or treatment contracted between a trained professional and a client, patient, family, couple, or group. The problems addressed are psychological in nature and can vary in terms of their causes, influences, triggers, and potential resolutions

Will use their power and influence to power trip and fuck people up.

They hide as bosses, and leaders and supposed role models, they are churchy and quote scripture and twist it to suit their purposes.. they bring about a total toxic mess. They are like a walking, talking man made mass oil spill, just waiting to find someone they feel is below them to spew their nastiness on. Just say fuck it and fuck em before it fucks you.

They would like nothing better than to know that your wasting your precious life time on being enraged and murderous over them; they love that they are eating you up. These toxic people love nothing better but to implant their cancer under your skin.. Gawd how I have learned this, this year.

They want to impose their limits upon you, hit you when you are down, wipe their feet, kick you in the teeth and laugh at you when you are crying.. so this is what we all need to do; when we are unlucky in life and we encounter them………

…………

 

Fucking forget about them, don’t even be mad..seriously don’t give that much of a fuck; live your own life..they hate it when you are happy.. pay back is bitch!

Tolerated

 

For me being tolerated is just as bad if not worse than being hated; because at least when people hate you, you know that strait up; but being tolerated is emotional torture. They are just putting up with you; what could hurt more?

At first you think they actually care about you; you think they are your friend, sometimes you think they could become a really good friend, and in some instances possibly a lover; but it is all a misconception because they are just putting up with you. I have had people who are just tolerating me tell me they love me, tell me they care about me, but really it was just subterfuge a subtle way to subdue the intensity of tolerating me. Eventually it becomes clear; as they start to exclude you, avoid you, ignore you sometimes, talk to you sometimes times to keep the subterfuge going to trick you into thinking they are not just tolerating you; because they simply don’t want to deal with the fact that they are being emotionally cold and distant. They don’t want to fess up and take responsibility for any prejudice against you..and by tolerating you or putting up with you they don’t feel any guilt for actually not really including you emotionally, like they do their true friends.

It is a game of aloof emotional cruelty as it slowly eats away at the one who is being tolerated.. you ask question like “What did I say? Or what did I do wrong? Why are they so cold to me but so friendly to everyone else today?” It takes away your self confidence when you are tolerated.. I don’t want to be hated, but a least you know were you stand.

Being tolerated makes you feel like “The Boy in the Bubble” everyone else gets the tactile stimulation of actually being touched, loved and respected..but your in a bubble, you are pitied, people feel sorry for you so they acknowledge you, but they will not play with you; they will not be truly emotionally intimate with you….but they will put up with you and your problems that secretly they wish they didn’t have to deal with.

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