Archive for July, 2013

The Wizard of Oz.. Archetype of the Narcissist


I will start at the end to get to the point .. The Wizard of Oz is afraid of his own lack of conscious this is why he encourages Dorothy to hop into the balloon.. rather than have her learn that all of her answers are within.

He is a smart man, he has learned all of his answers through books and higher education.. he mentions Universities ..  other important people that he knows of, to back up his credentials and to support his stories..the stories of his greatness, valor and bravery.

Like in the movie; he is a highly respected man, who has the perception of knowing all the answers.. to get an audience with him takes he is always very busy..and of course because of this he is late or sometimes he just doesn’t show.. due to his very important meetings, due to all of the very important people he must meet..and due to the fact that he is always doing some very important thinking.. he is a very important ..IMPORTANT PERSON! 

He loves pomp and prestige .. he loves to entertain to show off his success, his connections.. he surrounds himself with only the best and only the best will do..only the best people will surround him.. Just like in Oz .. it is like he has a cult like following of people willing to put him up above them so that they can seek the answers through his knowledge.. while not actually having to learn them through the school of hard knocks.. of circumstances out of their control.. like the cruel hands of fate.. instead they seek him out for the answers.. instead of having faith within themselves.

His social mask he guards with all of his might.. because behind this mask is but an ordinary man.. a man afraid to admit that he is indeed afraid and in way over his head.. he will frighten others away that get to close.. with his IMPORTANCE .. but really this is an internal disconnection from his own intuition .. his own true magic.. his own ruby slippers..

And so he will float around aimlessly in his hot air balloon (Notice they symbolism of being full of HOT AIR) He will still have no real control as he is not fully awake or aware.. he will find other’s constantly who will believe his story that he is THE GREAT AND ALL POWERFUL but he will remain a scared man full of his hot air.. to over compensate for the fear he feels..that one day someone will lift up the curtain and see that he was bumbling and fumbling to find his way in the darkness of his own unconsciousness..

He becomes aware ( finds his magic ) when he stops looking into books alone for all the answers.. or only relies on logic..but instead looks to his own heart ( The Heart.. the symbol of The RED slippers)

There is no place like home..and home is where the heart is.. if he were to listen to his heart he would find it.

Walking The Cosmos

My imagination was and still is my saving grace.. my special place to run when the world has caused me to come undone.. my inner world, were tame becomes wonderfully wild.

My first memories are memories of abuse from my father.. I escaped into books and art.. I walked the cosmos inside.

I walked on stardust.. I danced on moonbeams.. and then I played on soft beams of sunshine.. no one could touch me on the inside.. the journey and the adventure deep within my soul.

I gained this wisdom early on.. it helped me through the death of my sister she died and even after she was gone we walked the cosmos together .. we communicated in this magical place.. she came to me in dreams telling me of her impending death ( transformation) she came to me in the great void to give my heart fair warning.. and there she visited me she died ..we went hand in hand to walk on stardust and moonbeams.. clothed in mystery we found wisdom in death together..and after her transformation..she showed me how to fly.. how to transcend this word .. how to rise above the earth to the temple within..she brought me into the light…a beautiful sacrifice ..  accepting change.

The babies that passed on within me.. they meet me there.. because love lives on and on.. they taught me how to swim in the sparkling sea of brilliant tears..they taught me how to swim through my emotions.. in this inner place of soulful mystery.

As my marriage he went to another woman to find his fun.. I found my solace here in the inner sun.. I walked the cosmos.. I walked within to find my strength in adversity..and as I walked the earth outside in the sun..crying tears alone .. I felt the cosmos hold me.. as it was within me..

I found my comfort, as I felt the spirit of the stars and planets guiding  me .. the holy and the sacred..saying ” This way.. walk away into infinity.”

And now as I ascend the world from the inner door.. I look down and see how he stayed were he was while I journeyed on and on.. higher and higher .. like an eagle on an upwind.. I rise.. I walk the cosmos..

I walk through the this magic place..through my art and self expression.. I find myself.. when I forget myself..

I humble myself.. swim in and through tears.. I let go of what I thought I had known..facing weaknesses..building strength..

I learned in this place of wisdom.. that the doorway though is deep inside me and you..

You can walk the cosmos.. by just letting go.

Through creativity you create vastness..



I come to the point now that people simply scare the shit out of me.  After attempting to promote my book in this city and attempting to make friends and find my soul mate I have discovered how ruthless and selfish people can be. I have discovered that people will do and say almost anything to get what they want; if it be for romantic reasons, social status or for money. I have found that people will be your friend or associate as long as you do what you are told or work within their social frame work. It means becoming a fake and using people. It means basically becoming a whore in one form or another. I did do a youtube video on whores, I explain how people like you to feed their egos and follow their social rules of bullshit in order for you to be accepted into their little clicky, clicks. It is simply that,, ” tell me what I want to hear, do what I want you to do, be just like us.”

These same people talk about authenticity and leadership and professionalism, while simply being full of shit.. they talk about uniqueness .. how it matters to them .. how weird is cool..that is until you stand out too much, say to much.. like the fucking honest truth. They hate that, you tell the truth, you call out the bullshit and suddenly one becomes negative.. I guess if your full of shit..someone telling you the truth and calling your bluff.. would be seen as negative.

Funny thing is that because of my nudity on my blog and in my book and because of my racy youtube videos.. I am a labeled by them as a whore.. but yet they all whore their bullshit and half truths and call it marketing and leadership skills.. or how about life coaching.. yup.. whoring themselves yet hypocritically calling me a whore in social circles .. those sluts! They will give their compassion, and empathy and friendship to those ready to buy it! But I am whore?

So I am breaking up with Kelowna .. your professional society.. your networking organizations .. or don’t  I mean gossip circles.. like high school? Yup that’s it.. that is the immature mentality running the base line society here in this city.

You call me negative.. ?

You are afraid of socializing with a real person; someone who will just tell the truth and not play your stupid games that you call professionalism.

Keep it..