Archive for October, 2012




Disinfected , sanitized and over processed.. this is our world today.. and this is a strain of spirituality that exist. It is lacking in it’s roots therefore it is not sustainable.. it to shall fall as the sanitized and over processed world is falling or imploding in on it’s self as I write this.

This type of spirituality speaks of fluff.. it has not a stable foundation; as those who teach it believe that we will reach a spiritual mesa so high that we will be able to have intimacy without physical contact..that in deed there is no need to honor or uphold the flesh… the question to them is ” What do you fear? What do you fear so much about physical contact that you must believe such a lie?’

I have been told by someone of this understanding  that in order for my message to become more of a sell-able product that I should take my pictures off my website.. I shouldn’t be living so deeply in my lower chakra.. that I should be afraid for my safety ..because I am putting out into the world that I am all about pure sexuality.. and then I was informed that we would soon have no need for sex..and that the way to being a truly evolved spiritually ascended person was to be celibate until meeting the right man..and then upon meeting him not sleeping with him until a relationship had developed to the point of total commitment. I was told that in order for me to speak to women in business about the Goddess or in order for me to be taken seriously by men that I must wear a dress suit for my talks about the as not to bring attention to my sexuality..

I instantly was rubbed the wrong way.. my energy this thinking completely goes against the Goddess Wisdom of women loving, owning, nurturing and being fully present in their bodies and sexuality.. the Goddess Wisdom is that women regain their power through embracing their WILD WOMAN.. she is raw.. she is primitive.. but she is pure of heart..and pure of spirit.

This person didn’t understand how or why I wrote about my shadow side on this blog.. she didn’t understand the alchemy of blending light and dark..and she told me that the reason that women were afraid that I would steal their husbands was because I put myself out there as a threat by my raw sexuality..and sexual confidence..

After weeks of contemplation I see this.. she and many women like her are afraid.. they are afraid of breaking free from a society that labels women who like sex and are comfortable in their bodies..labeling us as whores and sluts.. they are afraid of stepping out into the unknown New Earth that is rising out of the ashes..and of course the Earth she is the Goddess.

This is the alchemy.. we as a whole are The Tree Of Life… there are those who live in the material world..those who’s roots are deep but refuse to reach up through the heart ( the trunk) and so they grow no branches towards wisdom.. then there are those.. in the cleansed spirituality..their branches grow high..but there connection to the heart or trunk is they are not authentic and wild..therefore their the wild are withered and weak.. both of these shall die.. yes they will wither and die, in THE NEW EARTH as they have no connection to the messy dirtiness of sex and birth.. they can not create or sustain without passion and they also play in the old world order by falling inline .. conforming to the norms of society..a society that is sick and dies as I write.

The way to light is through the middle road.. it is through the balance of all.. we will never be a sexless entity as it is needed to bring forth more creation.. it is the alchemy of The Divine Couple.. that brings forth balance..and yes their sex is a sacred sex that brings about the tribal ways..raw, untamed..full of passionate lust..a lust for life a love of life and lust..we will always need this connection as all is one..we all need physical and spiritual connection..we are the mirror to each other..we keep each other honest in our communications to each other..we show each other the shadow and the light …we blend them into the middle way..this is the alchemy.. there will always be sexuality.

The truth is this packaged, purified spirituality.. and worldliness is truly one in the same as it functions in the old ways..the ways of money and financial gain… and the old ways are dying.. I wish them dead.

The tribal ways take up… yes they do..The Wild Man and The Wild Woman.. living with nature.. this is the way..

All the chakras engaged.. roots down deep.. heart wide open… branches reaching out to eternal wisdom.

The light body born.. yes born through the understanding that the old world of commerce is no more.. it was a lie

Now we live in the truth.





Some may see me as weak

As I am foolish enough to believe in love

Some may say I am stupid

As I open up my heart again to fresh pain

Some may say I am crazy

As I am willing to brave much loss to find one love

Some may say I am childlike to believe there is one who will be true

As I am taken in by those who lie or tell half truths

Some may say I am choosing to suffer

As I suffer for being vulnerable to those who turn cruel

Some may say I have learned nothing

As I go though it again and again

Some may say I am a victim

As there are those who prey on an open heart


I say this.. I have Courage..and Strength.. I have the LION HEART.. love will find away!

Loving The Dream




I met the man of dreams in the most unusual way. I sent him the link to my website by facebook and he messaged me back telling me that ” you are the Goddess I seek”

And so it was his words they were so sweet…about how we would bring forth a new reality..we would rock the world with our love.. he saw himself in me.. and I felt the stirrings of love..and I felt the walls around my heart he lifted me emotionally and he had me believe in love.

He didn’t have much money.. he was the romantic soul.. a starving artist..a writer and poet..but I did not care.. only wanted love.

It was then that we talked and we planned..and I scraped the money together to bring him to my land..I met him at the airport meeting him in the flesh for the first time.. oh how we we fell into each other’s arms..

We lost each other in each other’s eyes.. ohh heaven on earth.

It was then that we blended together or lives.. like the sun and the moon.. my life lived in the day and his in the night..but when we passed each other it was all in good time… independent souls..we let the wind dance between us and then we touched.. we made sweet love.. passion and paradise..the universe and the cosmos we climbed as we joined together as one..

And with the creative heart of passion that we shared.. and with the understanding of the wisdom of the spiritual world…we created a new concept… we wrote a book of love..with sensual images and with his art.. we created for other’s a understanding and wisdom of divine love.

Life was not easy..but we were equals.. understanding each other we gave room for forgiveness..and we lived and loved each other for forever and then the day after forever.


But in waking life..this never happened.. he decided .. after words of love.. not to take this action..not to live this dream.. and so it stays a dream that I love.





Mother heal me

Wrap yourself around me and comfort me

Mother I am so sad, for the one love rejected me

I look to you to protect me

Mother please console me

He did not love me

Mother help me in my pain

I will never see him again

Mother I need your heart

Mine is broken apart

Mother guide me to myself

I am so wounded by this loss

Mother make me whole again

I gave him pieces of my heart

Mother help me to believe in love again

I believed in him

Mother bring back hope my way again

I will always miss him


Wedding Bliss



I have searched for love out side of myself.. only to find it evade me like the mist… to evaporate as I tried to grasp at it.

I have listened to others tell me who I am and what I want.. only to be left wanting.

I have had my emotions controlled by men who tell me what I want to they feed off of my my energy.. and I have been left ..not empty..but with just parts of I have given away to them what they truly stole away from me.. and so it is that I have searched for the key..but I have searched for this key outside of me.

I blamed myself.. for their lack.. I saw this lack as something lacking in me..and so again the pattern emerged inside of pieces that I missed.. ohhh how I missed myself ..all the time thinking that it was someone else that I missed.. feeling lonely for what I thought was him.. but all along it was me I missed.

I listened to words of idealized romance.. I listened to him speak only of himself.. I listened to him tell me what his needs were.. I listened to him as he told me who he was and what he believed in.. I listened to him as he tried to make me into what he thought was his ideal.. I listened and I listened as I was nothing but stealing away from myself..but I blamed him.

And so it is just very recently it happened again..a man that seemed like a God.. who told me when I was dreaming of Angels it was him I was dreaming of.. he told me he was the other half of me..and he believed that women were empty without men but men were filled endlessly.. yes he said he loved me, yes no one could compare to the love that he had for me and that I should have for him.. just believe in him..and only him, faithlessly as this would prove my enlightenment and that I am indeed worthy of such a great love that only he.. my Twin Flame could give to me and I to him..and so it is the power began to shift from me to a man. It was all to be on his timing and his plan.. as it was all in his sense of good timing that we should be together..and then I felt the drain again… but this time..a light came on.

I found the my patterns.. I found my heart.

I found that love has always been with me and that I have never been empty.. and any man or person who needs to steal energy from me.. has not found this key.

I found the love.. I found that it exists in the moment..of gratitude for all that is.. I am complete.. I am in contact with my higher self.. I am the Angel in my dreams..not him or anyone else.. I am the love that I seek..and it has always been so.. am The Bride and The knowing this I am whole.

I walked in to the shadows.. In the light of my awareness of who I truly shadow self becomes so much I am so much more in my new awareness.

My Angelic Self.. lifts me up from the ashes.. as I am transformed.. I am that I am.. there needs be no more..than this.. I am love

And so it is…

I wed bliss..

The Wisdom Keepers





There are those who were born knowing of things unseen.

Those who walk the spaces in between.. they lift the veil in their sleep, as they dream dreams of mystical things.

They understand a place beyond physical reality..and it is they that are meant to lead you to this place.

They who are the keepers of the faith.. that has no religion or domain.. the ones that have walked through their own shadow self.. have explored their own pain.. they do not hold the wisdom above you but share it with you freely.

There is the Shadow Sage.. the one that holds the wisdom deep within..that understands that all is one.. yet because they have not admitted to themselves the damage and the darkness that lives within them..because they have not walked through their own shadow they hold the wisdom above you.. this proves as arrogance.

They talk in circles with pretty words that never deliver the full gift that belongs to the wisdom is meant to be shared equally.. but instead they give you little pieces of the puzzle so that they may hold the power to themselves..this is The Shadow Sage.

The Sage.. that is whole; that has learned to live in this world and the other worlds..that has learned how to hold the shadow up to the light..this is the one that heals the world as they are of the world and of other worlds..and they admit their own humanity and flaws.. this is the enlightened ONE.

There are many now.. The Sage..that is whole understands there are many Wisdom Keepers and they wish to Merge as a WHOLE to bring the world to WHOLENESS.. as the wisdom must be shared and poured out to humanity with equality for both men and women.

The Enlightened Sage, does what they say the will do..they do not use their spirituality as an excuse not to be grounded and real.. the Enlightened Sage is HUMBLE.. and they share with you their power or THE POWER..they do not take POWER from you by asking you to follow them unquestioningly..

They want you to follow the wisdom within they understand that you are an EARTH ANGEL TOO.

There are those who feed their ego with your compliance ..this is the Shadow Sage..the Magician that only gives you smoke and mirrors.. a plate half full that never completely fills you..

Now you know.. follow the Enlightened Wisdom Keepers and soon you will walk with them equally as they show you the wisdom is within you too.

Chasing The Moon




Do not set a place for me.

I will not enter in.. I know it is but a golden cage, that you wish to capture me in.

You have set the table.. you have prepared the food, you have set the mood..but it is not for love and for loving me.. you only wish to feed your lust from me.

Oh the illusion is so sweet, flowers and candlelight for you and me..fruit and cream..but it is all just a means to seduce me.

But the seduction is not for love, it is not true romance.. just lies of the flesh.. just a lie as you wish to make me your concubine as you see in me no decency.

I know for the last man who had me enter in.. I sat with him in the place that he had set for me.. a delusion of romance and loveliness..all just smoke and mist.

Like a child I trusted this.. I trusted him to be true.. I trusted everything he said.. I trusted the sweet lie.

I drank the wine.. I ate and I dinned ..then soon it was me he feasted upon.. he ate my heart .. he made me cry.. he made me fall into sorrow..because I believed in him.

And so it is.. I will not sup with you.. I will not dine in your worldliness, I do not want to be used like this.. I do not want to feel hopeless.

I run into the forest..chasing moonbeams on my own.. all alone.. until I find the wild soul ..the soul that reflects my own.

He is the wild man.. he is an honest man..the poet and the artist..

I will find him there like me..chasing the moonbeams.






And so it is with great reflection and meditation that I have decided to let go of my delusion, yes it is the illusion..the self-deception that I dig this grave. Yes here it is within this pit that I chose my spoilage.. it will be through this putrefaction that I will experience my purification .. like the delicate bride, dainty, sweet and innocent, I will then again rise..but on this day I die.

For the old me did deceit myself..”The smiler with the knife and cloak”.. I lied.. I lied.. I lied. For you see it was the lying that I hated the most..the ones who hid from the truth but as it is, I soon found I believed the lies because I lied to myself. I knew the truth..deep inside, I hid it within blaming others for my calamities that were mine because I lied that they were not lies..and so it is I come here to purify my soul.. I come to decompose.

This treacherous thing that I once was must once and for all return to the dust..ah yes to resolve the dept upon my be made once again ” as pure as the driven snow” and so it is that the funeral begins to banish and to exorcise what no longer serves me in this life.. ah yes it has to die.

Like a tree in the the Autumn all must fall away.. the fruit so ripe that it drops, tumbles down to meet it’s reduction on the ground.. ah yes all must descend to meet it’s end..topple, topple down… to decay down to the core as the little vermin disassemble further more the life and energy therein…such imperfection working for perfection. Like the apple so the bone..flesh slowly decomposed as tiny insects play within creating the decrenscendo..bring all to the earth again.

As a blanket, I cover myself with the rich rotting stench of the soil and my dead self.. am not asleep, no just resting here for a while.

I become nothing but the seeds with in the fruit; that is now nothing due to the savage deterioration .. oh the sweet beauty of decomposition.. to clean the bone so white.. to take what was old and renew it for another life.

Death so sweet so easy to surrender, what was once brutal now so tender.. gentle and humane..we all must die to the self again and again..

Beauty and romance.. in a death that knows it’s time and place..

And so it is I die with grace.

Once Upon A Timelessness



It is that time is but a spiral..and like the wormhole spinning inward and in on it’s self and then again back out. Darkness and light..matter and spirit form a circle so tight that they merge into one..what was once unseen becomes reality and what was once reality becomes the dream. Everything goes into the center, bending and molding together..flipped inside out..and outside- in as we approach the Universal Center. The Earth she rises up to the sky the dark rift she lifts..with her we rise and twist.

Time as we know and understand it in the mass flow..speeds up with the gravitational pull.. time shortens, days feel like hours, time looses it is not relevant in these events. In the core of this hour-glass.. all will hang, all will stop as the pendulum halts it’s swing..this is everything merging as one.

Those who relate to mass..those who relate to logic..those who can not live in the image’, those who can not see through the internal sight..will become blind. The fright of the dream becoming real, the fright of everything that they thought was everything becoming nothing and nothing becoming everything will cause them to become what they relate.. mass and only it is their relative. Yet those who have even the slightest understanding of the mysteries they shall be reborn. Those who carry within them the wisdom of the image.. those who already have walked between the worlds..with knowing the energy that lives within all things..their rebirth shall be painless and one of joy.


From this nothingness..these dark days..comes the birth of new light..and it is in his arms he carries her through the night.. in his hands he holds The Earth.. and with love in his hands he holds the cup of their love..silver and so sweet.. they then give birth to a new reality.. the cup of love is turned onto The Earth..golden nectar so sweet..and with that love the Golden Age is ushered in, and the people of the new birth walk in the body of light..and it is the weakest ones that come first..the innocent inherit The Earth..and The Crystal Children shall lead them.. to Age of Wisdom.


Once Upon A Timeless place.









All creation myth starts with the creation of form from spirit..and so it is so that the ether was before mass.

It was out of the nothingness.. not darkness that mass was created and of course that nothingness was the ether.

After mass was created..the war between the light and the dark started..the dark mass wanting to have and own all of creation for it’s self..not wanting to be apart of the ether but to rule over the spirit and the mass it had created…and so it is the war of the Heavens feel to Earth..this is called the FALL.

And so those of the Heavens or the sky..those of evil and control fell to Mother Earth to take control of her and all of her creations..but to protect Earth and her children the ones of the Light fell or descended to protect the innocent from the dark evil ones.

It is said they lived on Earth as Gods..they walked on the Earth and the mingled their blood with humanity..some that were of the Darkness and some that were of the Light.

In some religions they are understood as Demons and Angels..both Angels..some of the Darkness and some of the Light.. Some may call them they were alien to Mother Earth ..but then they would also be our relations or distant cousins as we are all made up of Star Dust.

It is said the battled..they fought a mighty war..and then they left back to the heavens.. leaving us Godless and to our own devices.

But they left behind their mixed children..and so it is that we have the fight within our DNA the fight between the evilness of the Ego..the total lack of compassion that works like a machine..this is the ego entity that powers the Illuminati ..that some see as the Governments that be..the heads of State and The Blood of Royalty..but it lives with in the human is greed.. it causes us to destroy ourselves in the constant lust for more .. and so like the machine, of the Dark Ones we play on their game board.. we consume and by them we are in turn religion this is know as SATAN.

But then again their are the ones.. that carry the light and the truth for humanity.. they are what is called The Star-seed. They carry with them in their DNA..a memory of ancient times and ancient ways…with them they bring the Heart of Humanity,because they know the only way to win the war is through the center of the Heart.. it is to heal the Dark being being strength and by waking up Humanity to see that they are being consumed by lack of greed.

And so is that we are in the time that the ETHER has been torn..we are in the time now that the circle that is time will make it’s self known now..all that we thought was myth..all that we thought was childish stories will make it’s self known..because we have reached the time of critical mass. Those who have awakened have changed the quantum the light has over come the mass of the darkness..what we thought was is not at all..and the darkness knows it’s time has come..because once the light has been turned on the monster will no longer be as frightening as it was once..and fear can no longer be used as a weapon..or the weapon of fear has lost much of it’s power and the power returns to the origins.

There will be some that hold on to the old reality..and because of this they will not adjust..and may consume themselves.. but the cosmos has become aware.

And the myth is that there will be a galactic war.. but the light it absorbs the darkness with compassion.