Archive for March, 2012

White Goddess

Heaven Sent

Heaven sent me to love,
Heaven filled me with light,
A light so bright,
Soft and white,
To pull you into my heart.

Heaven sent me to you,
To show you the right thing to do,
I am filled with warmth,
To comfort you,
I am here for you.

Heaven sent me to guide,
I am the pureness of truth,
I am to show you,
I will bring you joy.

Heaven sent me to understand,
To show and bring wisdom in,
Into your heart,
To show you,
The soul you are.

Heaven sent me here,
To help and protect,
I am here to reminded you,
You are all,
You are light.

Heaven sent I am,
I illuminate,
I shine,
I bring in a higher way,
A pathway to the stars.

Heaven sent me to open your heart,
To show you the way through,
I will walk with you,
Through the pain and fear,
To bring you back,
To love.

Heaven sent the light,
The light is love,
Through the heart,
We all are saved,
We all have Heaven.



The beauty of a woman’s nature is in her strength,

It is in her way to fight the good and true fight,

It is in her way to listen to her heart.

To quiet the suffering soul,

It is in her nature to nurture and put love first,

This is the beauty of a woman’s soul.

She makes the brutal world a beautiful place

She makes beauty from her grace,

She is the tree that bends in the winds of change

She is soft strength, she doesn’t break,

Somehow she finds away to make it all ok,

She is the soft and tender heart,

She is the place to rest your weary head,

She bringings you sweet love from nothingness

All of this lives within her heart,

A heart so boundless and abundant that she makes love from hopelessness,

She is a Goddess

She is in your dreams and in you wakefulness

She is the reason you exist

She brings her heart to you wide open

And it is her body that you crave

It is her soft sweet skin and the smell of her silky hair that you can’t resist

To not have her is to have nothing at all but emptiness

She is the one to come to when you need to cry

She will meet you with arms wide,

She is the all that is wonderful to you,

To not have her is to have ugliness

To not have her is not to have a reason for life

To not have her is to have the world cold and hard,

She is the softness,

She is the tenderness,

She is the sweetness,

Her sensuality,


Worthy of Love

I am Worthy of Love

I am worthy of love, because I am love

I am the energy of everything and everything that was created for love

For the love of creation, creation sprang

And I am everything and everything is me

I am worthy

Oh pain colors everything a shade of gray

And we like to spread our pain around to make less to carry

Yes we bury our fears on the shoulder of others

And so it is we forget we are all love and loved

We put the pain above love

We struggle under the heavy heart as we feel we are all a part

But we are not, we are all loved

We tell ourselves that it’s not true

Why would others hurt you if you are lovable?

It is just pain and regret of unforgiven weakness,

If we can forgive ourselves we can share love

We can be love

We can be loved

We can say

I am worthy

I am love

I am loved

Sometimes we have to look past others pain

We have to see they hurt us out of their own shame

That is the way we can let go

That is the way back to the road of love

To forgive others that no not what they do

To understand and meet pain with wisdom

An open heart

An open mind

To love

I am MAD

I am mad because I am done with being judged as a woman!

I am mad because society has no compassion.

I am mad because all the tenderness and the kindness of humanity is locked behind selfishness and greed.

I am so sick of men trying to make me into either a virgin or a whore! I am sick of it; what the heck is up with that?

Women are either puritan or pornstar. Your the guys mother or his tramp!

And a Tramp is a woman that likes and wants sex; his mother is the opposite, you see to all his other needs and then lay down and go through the motions; telling him and yourself your doing it for him so your not a tramp.

Of course women who are single mothers; looking for a man are just trashy! How dare a single mother like me not make her kids her only priority? God for bid that I should need and want my basic needs for love and partnership met! God forbid that I want someone to share my life with; someone to laugh with, cry with and yes have sex with; I would rather say it as having someone to make love to and be made love to; but NO, that’s just being man crazy and a bad freaken mother!

Double fricken standards put on women by society; Sex is dirty or pure; thats bullshit! It isn’t either! Sex is a way that two people come together to build and maintain intimacy and it is a physical release. Why can’t we all just grow up!

Why do we have to make things evil or good? Why can’t we just see things for the way they are? Gees ya know? Its just so childish the way we have to lable everyone as either good or bad when we ourselves are both! We are all human; we have a basic need for love and to be touched physically.

It is the taboo that we put on sex that makes it dirty or pure; it is our childish perspectives; Gawd we need to get a grip!

Society needs to grow up! We need to stop telling women to be plastic freaks, with botox filled faces and fake boobs; starving ourselves to look the way we are told is attractive.

Men you guys have got to start seeing women as people with souls and hearts that are easily broken; a womans heart is as tender as her breast; we are so fragile we need love and tenderness! We need to be held and heard and seen!

The human body is a miracle in it’s self; it is creations finest work of art; it is beautiful, sensual and amazing. We treat our bodies like crap! We eat crap! We don’t exercise enough! Or we go to the other polar opposite and we starve and over work ourselves for fashion and not for HEALTH!

We are out of balance.. everything is black or white; good or evil. We don’t have any compassion for the fallen soul… even though we are all fallen and imperfect.

I just want to know were is the love?

I myself am so sick of being look at and sized up; I am bad mom cause I am sexy and free spirited..why? How do people jump to that?

I am writing my book to show that women can be sexual; be mothers; be grandmothers; be professionals; WE CAN BE WHAT WE WANT! Oh it is said but in our repressed society it is not true; we are not given that room; we are still fighting for our freedom to be people in our own right. If I am a mother it doesn’t mean I turn into a child again because I have children. It is like society is afraid that if a mother is a sensual being she is messing up her kids; but the oposite is true; to be repressed sexually is to teach your children the same damn thing.

What is being sexual; IT IS IN YOUR TRUE NATURE…gawd!

It doesn’t make you dirty; God made men and women to fit into each other or if you don’t believe in God then science and nature did that! And so being the civilized humans that we are supposed to be means that we can express our sexuality with dignity.. *sigh*

Diginity; meaning that we honor our sexuality; understand it’s importance while not hurting ourselves and others with uncontrolled urges. So that means not to become so intrenched in your sexuallity that it becomes an addiction; meaning sex is all you live for and think about constantly; because life should be lived in balance for health; emotional, spiritual, physical and mental health.

But to be aware and proud of you sexuality is perfectly healthy!

Being ashamed of the human body is ignorant; being ashamed of you own body is insecurity and self-defeating.

The way to love your own body is to take care of you body and to do away with media hype and learn to accept and love your imperfections…damn it!

I just hope by writing this book that I can show humanity how to live in health and compassion.

Women’s sexuality is totally ignored in the media; we are still seen as plasic dolls that are bad girls if we like sex and seek sex out; we are tramps and we deserve to be used my men cause we like sex.. it’s crap! Good girls are shown as being there just for a man’s comfort and needs.. period! It’s crap!

Women do like sex with love… we need tenderness; we need not to held up to a impossible standard by our men.. we need to take the time to look after ourselves and love our bodies; with out guilt trips for caring and nurturing ourselves and not just everyone else. Women are their own people first!


I miss Vic; but I know in my heart that he doesn’t miss me; maybe my body and the things I did in bed with him and to him, but he doesn’t miss me. I am unloved.

I thought this time it would be different; that he was a nice guy, that he would see more of me than just sex. I emailed some of my writing to him; I sent him pictures of my paintings and said cute and flirty things to him. He came to see me a second time; but silly me it was only for sex. He sent me some short emails, but for the most part he ignored me. He broke my heart. I cryed off and on for a couple of days before I decided that I had to face reality; and that is I fell for him but he did not fall for me. He has and ex living downstairs and one that wants him back; he has estrogen over-load, to him I am just another female pest.

You would think that I am beautiful, smart, funny, talented and all that good stuff; but it doesn’t seem to matter, when it comes down to it all Vic and other men all just want sex from me. I am unloved.

Today I took my new car for a drive and I went to were my ex and I first lived together over 15 years ago; I remembered him always talking about his ex; and I remembered never feeling quite loved or accepted. The truth is a man has never loved me. I am unloved.

I keep praying it will happen; I thought that Vic would be different but no; I mean nothing to him; nothing but a body to release sexuall tension in. Life feels so cruel sometimes and men have been so cruel to me; I don’t want to believe I will never be loved by a man; but it is so hard to see it as it has never been. They want to own me but give me nothing back; no love just empty promises; lonelness and heartbreak.

When will he come and love me; the special man; God is supposed to have one for everyone. I think God forgot about me… 🙁

From Beyond

From Beyond

You saw me leave my body
But I am not gone
I am here as energy
I am here for eternity

I will never leave your side
I will guide you gently on
I was never gone
I am in the great beyond

I speak to you in your dreams
I live within a song
I move on the wind
I am and I will live on

I will fill your heart with love
I will bring hope
I am your shining star
I will carry you through

I whisper to your soul
I come to you unexpectedly
I come to you when your heart calls me
I will always be with you.



Suddenly I can see past reality
I can see eternity
I understand infinity
I am everything and everything moves through me.

In a place deep inside of my soul
I can learn to let go
I know that my gifts are my tools
My natural born abilities create more for and of me.

When I learn to soar on the winds of change
When I let myself float down stream
When I cease to fight
When I chose to do what feels right I win.

There is magic inside of each one of us
A magic that is powered by faith and trust
By following our hearts and souls
We find our way to this enchanted space and place.

Destiny is given room
Destiny and fate are found in a quieted state
It is in the place of surrender
Surrender where we create and find our miracles.

The miracle is the magic
The magic of turning sorrow into treasure
The magic of wisdom matured
We chose tenderness over bitterness.

Creation is at your finger tips
We can cause miracles by following our hearts
It is through living our dreams
That God lives through each and every one of us.

Magic is the infinity of the possibilities
That nothing lived through the heart is impossible to conceive
When we manifest our dreams
We become one with God and live in our own divinity.

So quiet your mind and still your soul
You have the power at your calling
To call upon all of creation
You can become whatever you chose as infinity is within you.


I am nothing without you
I am you instrument
I need you to hold me
Hold me in your hands,

I empty myself
I make room for you
I need your divinity
Please use me,

I understand that I am your creation
I understand through this wisdom
I know that I live for this
For this time and place
To be in this space of nothingness,

Please use me
Play you music through me
Create using me
Bring peace through me
I live for this and nothing less,

I am you instrument
I am your paintbrush
I am you canvas
I am you pen and you paper
Please use me,

Nothing I want more than this
Is to set my ego aside
To see that I am more than this
To be you tool to create bliss
Please use me,

I surrender to this
This is my reason to exist
To be one with you
I must surrender myself
I must use my gifts,

I am filled with your light
I will help it shine
I will bring it forth,
By putting me aside
I am yours

Gaia’s Song

Gaia’s Song

In your greed you have forgotten,
In your greed you have lost you way,
In your need to be put above others,
You have gone astray.

In your race towards fame and fortune,
You have become bitter and selfish,
You have put you wants above justice,
You have learned to lie so well,
You don’t even see yourself.

Your need to own me and society,
Has brought such great suffering,
Your children are raped and beaten,
You women are owned and berated,
The old are put away and forgotten,
You have brought in shame.

My skin you have polluted,
You pour oil in my waters,
You spill your chemicals in my veins,
You build up concrete on my meadows,
And you alter what was perfectly made,
You say you do these things to make life better,
But you believe your own lies,
As all you do is just for your own gain,
Everything is just to own the masses,
But evil is what you have created,

Children starve worldwide,
They are left in graves unmarked.
You will never know their names,
You will never feel their mother’s pain,
As you turn a blind eye,
You are cruel and so jaded,

I call to you my children,
I call to you as it is almost too late,
In these unmarked graves of you women and you children,
I have placed you name,
I am Mother Nature,
I will have the final say,

You have been so arrogant,
You have turned into my cruel children,
Do you really think that it go on much longer,
You have become my cancer,
This disease you have created,
You are my cancer,
With your evil cruelty to one another,
You have polluted reality,
I will shake you from my skin,
As all creation must go on without you,

Did you really think you are my own children?
The world is teaming with life other than yours,
I will cut you out like a bad cancer,
Like the parasite that you have become,
I will do away with this evil.

You fear hell,
You fear damnation,
But it’s your fear you have created,
You have dug your own graves,
You have created your own karma,
And I will give you your way,

You can save yourself by your own hand,
If you learn to become a hero,
If you do to help others,
If you lift up the weakest ones,
If you can feed the starving children,
By loving the women that created them,

This how you will change this imbalance,
By doing good just for the sake of doing,
By spreading love instead of greed and hate,
Stop trying to own the world,
Stop trying to take all there is to take,
Share with one another,
This is the only way,

Greed is you undoing,
Greed has caused this hate,
Greed has caused all the killing,
Religion has just been you excuse,
To execute the blameless,
To bring the balance back you must be honest,

Be honest with yourself,
Be honest with your ego,
Be honest with you manipulations,
Be honest with you motivations,
Bring up the weak,

Bring up the meek,
Bring up the sick and the broken,
Bring up you women, your aged and you children,
This is the only way,
To a new day,
To clean your soul,
You will clean the world,
You will save yourselves,
Please listen, my dear children.

Blazing Trails

Blazing Trails

Don’t tell me what to say,
Don’t tell me what to think,
I don’t what to hear from you,
I don’t care what you say,
I am going to do it my way,

I know my own mind,
I know my own brain,
I can find my own way,
Every day is mine to take,
And if you disagree get the hell away from me,

I am going to blaze this trail,
I am going it make a new way,
I am going be like bullet shooting into space,
I am clearing this path; I am making a way,
If you are afraid, then go and hide,

I am not going to stop for you,
I am not going to have you in my head,
I am not going to be told what to do,
I know who I am and what I am supposed to do,
I am a pioneer and blazing this trail clear.